


A Grave Oversight

by Lawgirlalways



Category: Nikita (TV 2010)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Drama, Family, Humor, Multi, Romance, Spies & Secret Agents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 70,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25675777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lawgirlalways/pseuds/Lawgirlalways
Summary: An AU story. Nikita and Sean are half-siblings who grew up together. But after Nikita witnesses a Division hit, Madeline works her Oversight magic to get her recruited instead of killed.
Relationships: Michael Bishop/Nikita Mears, Sean Pierce/Alexandra Udinov, Seymour Birkhoff/ Sonya (Nikita 2010)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 14





	1. Prologue

Nikita wasn’t one to get worked up. Usually, she could rationalize her actions and calm herself down. She could count on one hand the amount of times she had lost control of her emotions. Whenever that happened, she was able to separate herself from whatever it was that had its grip on her. Then, she could talk herself off of the ledge. Sometimes there was someone who could help her see reality again; that no matter what it was, she was alright. But she wasn’t so sure about that time. She wasn’t in that situation anymore, but she could still hear the screams. She wasn’t in that alley anymore, but she could still see those eyes. She was safe and sound in the safehouse’s bedroom, yet her senses continued to howl at the horror of it all.

Michael found her curled on the corner of the bed, changed out of the bloody mission clothes. They had already talked briefly about what happened. However, not in depth. Nikita couldn’t handle in depth yet. He knew, as he always did with her, and discussed Oversight instead. It was the easier subject. Or so he thought. She didn’t say anything in response, just let him drift closer to her. His body heat radiating next to her grounded her a moment. Where she was was real. It was constant, unlike anything else. She took in a steadying breath, and replied to his home comment. That was something she could do. She could focus on getting back home.

If the phrasing startled him, either the ‘back home’ or ‘living with herself’ part, he didn’t show it. Michael simply flashed her a smile, and cracked a self-deprecating joke. Nikita couldn’t help but to laugh along with him. He made it easy as he grabbed her hand and kissed her bare shoulder. They sat in silence for some time, neither moving from where they were. He continued to comfort her with tender kisses and caresses, while she stared off into nothing. Despite his lack of words, she was aware that he was dying to know what she was thinking. She just needed a couple more minutes before she could voice them.

“I shot Alex,” Eventually, Nikita mumbled. Michael nodded, kissing her shoulder again. The second he saw the blood on her, he demanded to know what occurred in that alley. Fear and panic shone brightly in his green eyes, so she didn’t delay with any ‘I’m fines’. She shared the facts of the fight with Alex that ended with a broken arm and a bullet to the leg. She rationalized it was a way to save her life, to make her get away from Division. But she was beginning to become terrified that that wasn’t necessarily the case, “I think… I think I did it because I was angry. She left and…”

“Hey no. No. That’s not true,” Michael was immediate to interrupt her. He was ready to dispel any of those thoughts from her mind. He knew Nikita wouldn’t do such a thing, not to Alex at least. The two were like sisters. He got her brown eyes to look at him, his words soft, “Did you shoot my shoulder 'cause you were angry with me? Or were you saving my life? Alex is confused and wants revenge. Division is her way out. It’s kinda scary how similar it is, huh.”

They had talked about revenge and Division before. And they had talked about doing anything to save their friends’ lives. Nikita knew Michael was right. She shouldn’t have been so hard on herself. She shouldn’t be so upset over Alex. She just couldn’t help it. After getting Alex clean, training her, and setting her out into the world, Nikita felt responsible for everything she did. Alex looked up to her, modeled herself after her. And then she was lost and hurt. She was her own person, but Nikita wanted to shoulder the blame. She did raise her a little. Far too easily, it felt as though she was slipping back into that older sister role.

She didn’t want to draw those parallels, yet it was difficult not to. Especially with him there. Nikita had seen him at the motel before the rescue drones and in the alley before fighting with Alex. At first she thought her mind was playing tricks on her. Alex had played them and they were pinned down by gunfire; she was panicking, hallucinating. Except, she saw him again. And he saw her. Those hazel eyes were wide with recognition and shock. The expression frightened her, mostly because she couldn’t make sense of it. Why was he there, if not for her. Why would he be involved with Division, if it wasn’t to sweep her under the rug again. That was how she had gotten recruited in the first place. 

Nikita could feel Michael’s green eyes piercing her. He could sense something else was the matter, she knew. And maybe she should tell him. She had to tell somebody. Nobody knew the truth besides her and whoever happened to be in charge of Division and Oversight at the time. She had to come clean; it was time to come clean. Yet after almost a decade of silence, she wasn’t sure if the words could be spoken- if the words wouldn’t get choked out in her throat. She had to try. For Michael, she had to at least attempt being honest, “Michael. I saw someone in that alley with Alex. Someone who shouldn’t have been there.”

“Who?” He was being patient with her. She knew it by the way he scooped her up in his arms and turned her to face him completely. The intense sincerity almost frightened Nikita off. She couldn’t remember the last time she could trust someone like that. Hell, she couldn’t remember the last time anyone wanted her trust like that. Most people she dealt with only wanted surface level trust, the kind that let you do their job and didn’t ask any questions. But Michael wanted more. He wanted her heart. Nikita had to remind herself that he was worth giving it to. He wasn’t going to run off and leave her out to dry.

“How do you think I got recruited by Division?” Instead of being straightforward, she took the cowards way out. It just seemed so appealing to her. She wanted to make it easier on herself. The more he knew beforehand, the less she had to explain. And the less she had to think over everything. She was tired of doing that, of letting the hurt take over her. It was time to make her peace and move on.

“I was told you were the same as everybody else. Just a bit more feisty,” Michael played along with her deflection, smiling slightly. Nikita had tried a couple of escape attempts when she was first brought in. And even after she knew there was no getting out, she fought back against instructors. She had always been defiant and against the rules, long before she went rogue. Although as her handler he was the one that had to rein her in, he always admired her for that tenacity. 

“Well, I did think I was kidnapped and being held for ransom. I mean, that’s the danger you face when you were adopted as a baby by a U.S Senator and a high ranking army official,” Nikita decided to drop the truth as though it were nothing. If she kept handling it like it was something breakable, it was going to break her. She needed to let go and deal with the fallout that was about to happen, one way or another. 

Michael short circuited for a brief second. What he had heard was slowly processing in his brain. Most kids in the program came from the streets or messed up homes. It was how they had gotten into the trouble Division found them in. His story was different, as he was searching for revenge. However, he never suspected her story to be as well. No one had told him otherwise, “What?”

Sighing, Nikita gave a quick explanation. They’d have time for better and more details later. She just had to get it out, “They already had twin girls when they took me home. And a couple years later they had a son. So I had some siblings that I was close to. And we were hanging out at our mom’s office, waiting to go to dinner one night. Naturally, we fooled around and got in trouble. So I snuck into the security office to erase the tape. But. I saw something I shouldn’t have.”

Her voice faltered and paused without her wanting it to. Michael noticed and moved closer to her on the bed. She was practically sitting in his lap, and their foreheads were brushing. His touch gave her the courage to swallow down the rest of her anxieties, “I saw a dirty dealing senator get killed by Division. Luckily, my mom knew about it. So instead of getting killed for being a witness, I was recruited. Good ol’ Percy told me that. My mom had my death faked and had me swept under the rug. Apparently she did the same thing when I was born. ‘Cause according to Amanda, I’m my father’s bastard child.”

“Why does this make sense?” Michael muttered after absorbing the information. When it came to the corrupt people they dealt with, what happened to her was sadly common. They had seen a lot of people do a lot of terrible things to keep their power. Hiding away a problem child was definitely on the table. Yet Michael continued past that. They would discuss her feelings over it when she wanted to. At the moment, she was telling him about the person she saw with Alex, “Wait. Then who did you see in the alley? Was it your mom?”

“No. I’m starting to think she’s Oversight, though. Who else has that kinda pull?” Nikita finally admitted out loud. The instant she discovered Oversight, the instant she suspected her adopted mother to be a part of it. If she was any other senator, Nikita would’ve been killed for what she had seen. But because Madeline Pierce ran Division, she was “saved”. 

“Oh,” Michael could easily follow that train of thought. He had been kept in the dark concerning most Division secrets. And for good reason. If he had discovered what Percy had been hiding, he would’ve lashed out and burned the place to the ground. Kind of like what he was doing at the moment. However, knowing what he does then, he really was ready to destroy anyone in charge of that damned place. 

“Yeah. And to deepen the family drama, I saw my brother. I saw Sean with Division, shooting at us,” That was the part Nikita couldn’t wrap her head around. She was still coming to grips with her adopted mother abandoning her to Division. She could blame most of that on not being able to process her emotions healthily (thanks, Amanda). Yet it was different with Sean. He didn’t seem to have been an agent. He looked like he was working with them on his own. She was terrified at what that could mean. 

“Does he know what happened? Did he know you were alive?” Gently running his hand over her back, Michael wondered. Nikita hadn’t really thought about what Sean knew. She had only been focused on the fact that he was there. It would’ve explained the shock in his eyes at the sight of her, though. And maybe he wasn’t working for Division. Maybe he was in the army like their dad, and was tasked with hunting down Merrick. That made more sense. That eased her racing mind. All she could do was shrug, however, and burrow into the warmth of Michael’s arms. 

“He does now.”


	2. Chapter 1

_ Ten Years Earlier _

Nikita Pierce had an excellent childhood. She had a wonderful home, loving parents, and enough siblings and friends to always keep her company. She had some complaints (what teenager didn’t), but overall she was happy. Life was always adventurous, whether with sports, school, or torturing her siblings. Her mom was a little tougher on her maybe because of that, but the way her dad spoiled her kind of balanced it out. Although Nikita was adopted as a baby, unlike her brother and sisters, that never diminished her role in the family or how loved she was. She was a beloved, rascally kid, and had a bright future ahead of her.

It was early March of Nikita’s senior year of highschool when the shit finally hit the fan. Her older twin sisters, Jill and Sandy, were home from their freshman year of college for their spring break. Her younger brother, Sean, was moved up from the freshman highschool football team to varsity for the next school year. And Nikita had been accepted to a plethora of colleges on both athletic and academic scholarships (she didn’t know where she wanted to go yet; her sisters wanted her to be pre-law like them, but she was thinking about sports medicine or physical therapy). There were tons for the family to celebrate. Their mom decided to treat them all to dinner one night. Their dad had to work late, so he’d meet them at the restaurant. He had some important Army job that kept him busy most days. Their mom was busy as well, but as a senator she had a more concrete schedule. 

Which was why Nikita and her brother and sisters were at her office before dinner. They could leave the second she finished and eat someplace downtown. However, a senator’s office was boring for four teenagers. They needed to do something while they waited for what felt like forever. They found an abandoned construction hallway upstairs, and it became their playground. Jill and Sandy climbed and walked on the boards and beams that were lying around, while Nikita and Sean raced each other in rolling chairs. They were all screaming, laughing, teasing, and talking. It was fun and exciting, and much better than just sitting around and waiting.

At some point, Nikita slouched in her chair and inched across the floor. She was telling some swim meet story with exaggerated movements and weird voices. Jill, Sandy, and Sean were egging her on as they giggled. She ended up tripping over something, falling flat on her face; the chair tipped and slammed down atop her. Erupting in laughter, her siblings didn’t notice their mom stomping up the stairs. She had finished her work for the day and heard her children fooling around upstairs when she went to look for them. The sight before her was not an enjoyable one, “What the hell are you doing? This is my job.”

Despite their mother’s sharp, disdainful tone, the teens continued to laugh. Especially Nikita as she remained on the floor. Their mom placed her hands on her hips and employed her best “mom” glare. It only had some affect. Maybe because they knew how much trouble they were in, they just couldn’t stop giggling. All their mom could do was roll her eyes and sigh. Against teenagers, one had to choose their battles. And that one wasn’t worth fighting. In clipped words, she gave orders for her children to obey, “Clean up. Meet me in the car.”

Jill and Sandy did as instructed without problem. Nikita kept picking on Sean, however. He fired back on some things, yet it was so easy for her to get under his skin. Once they finished, he had enough. Nikita poked at Sean one last time, and he chased her to the car. Their sisters let them be, used to the two’s antics. Jill and Sandy just shrugged and took the direct route to the parking garage. Sean and Nikita chased and teased from floor to floor. One floor away from the underground garage, they passed by the hall that led to security. Nikita stopped abruptly; Sean crashed into her. Before he could comment, she shushed him, “I have an idea. We erase the tape of us fucking around, and there’s no proof to get us in trouble.”

“You’ve come up with some shit schemes before, but this,” Sean began, scrutinizing his sister. Nikita somehow managed to think of the most insane half-baked ideas. They always led to great stories, but also serious trouble. Hell, hanging out in the construction hall was Nikita’s idea. Sean should've learned to just say “no” and walk away. But she drew him in with a daring smirk and a mischievous glint in her brown eyes. He was helpless as he followed her down the empty hallway, “What if there's guards?”

“I got cash. I can pay ‘em off. Just watch the door Boy Scout,” Disappearing into the security room, Nikita threw out Sean’s least favorite nickname. She always said it to rile him up and get him to do whatever she wanted, and it worked. He was raised to constantly try to do the right thing. Yes, he was a boy scout- almost an eagle scout- but serving those in need was his responsibility; he needed to help. Nikita knew that, and exploited it. She’d probably get him to follow her to the edge of the world if she wanted. Even though he’d grumble, he’d still do it.

Sneaking into the room and sitting at the computer was the easy part (the guards were nowhere to be seen). Nikita had to admit she didn’t know how she would delete the footage. She thought she could poke around on the computer and figure it out. It shouldn’t have been too complicated. She at least solved how to switch the feed that was showing. If she could pull up the construction hall, she might’ve been able to delete the archival footage. She slammed on a couple of keys on the keyboard, and managed to rewind the feed. All she had to do from there was select the clip of them messing around and delete it- easier said than done.

Nikita thought she had just solved her problem when a noise outside the window caught her attention. The blinds had been closed however, which was odd. The guards should’ve been looking out the windows while they were on duty. In fact, the guards should’ve been in the room. She had been so relieved that the room was empty, she didn’t stop to question it. Then she was. She opened the blinds, catching a murky glimpse of the outside. The sun had gone down, but the lights around the building hadn’t been turned on. Nikita could still see some things in the dark, but not any details. Wanting to just ignore the whole thing, she turned back to the computer. That was when she heard the noise again.

It was much more distinct that time. She recognized it as tires squealing. Moving closer to the window so that she could see out of it clearly, she spotted a man she had a feeling she knew (probably a senator who worked with her mother) walking towards his car. It was the only thing in the otherwise bare back parking lot. Hardly anyone parked there because of the poor access in and out of the building; the man must’ve been one those “tradition or else” leaders her mom complained about. While he fished for his keys in his pocket, the source of the tire squealing- a large black van- sped into the lot. It parked next to the senator, and three armed people in tactical gear hopped out.

A voice in Nikita’s head told her to run out of the room, to get help. Yet she was stuck witnessing the people accost the senator. They yelled and shouted, jamming their guns at him. Nikita couldn’t make out the muffled words, but she knew how terrifying it was. The senator shook, passing his briefcase to the people. They took it, rifled through it, and shot him. It happened so fast Nikita didn’t even know it had happened at first. She blinked and the senator was lying on the ground, blood seeping out of his chest. She had seen characters die in TV shows and movies before, yet that was so drastically different. It was real. She had witnessed a murder. 

The loud gasp broke free from her chest, she had no power to stop it. Slowly, she backed away from the window. Her hands flew to her mouth to cover a sob that was threatening to spill over. The image of the shock and fear on the senator’s pale face, and the amount of blood that exploded out of him was seared in her brain. She couldn’t shake it, and it was rattling her to her core. Nikita couldn’t make sense of the armed people in tactical gear, or the purpose of the killing. She began to have the horrifying thought that if those people could get to one senator, they could get to any of them. As if reading her mind, one of the assailants neared the window with their gun drawn; they saw her, the lights in the security office were too bright. She had to get out of that room. She had to find some help, or her mom.

Sean crashed into her again when Nikita scrambled into the hallway. He appeared panicked, his hazel eyes blown wide in apprehension. Whereas Nikita was sprinting down the hall, Sean grabbed onto her needing to know what he had heard, “Nikita, what was that? I heard a gunshot. Was it a gunshot? Did you hear it too?”

“It’s fine, Sean. We need to find Mom. Or a guard,” Nikita swallowed down her own terror. She had to be brave for her brother. If he saw just how rattled she was, he’d be out of his mind in fear. She had to get it together for him. He didn’t need to worry. Luckily, the guards were running back to their station. One of them was already speaking into his radio about gunshots heard on the premises. The other stopped in front of the two teenagers, eyeing them suspiciously. His hand steadied on his utility belt, and he menacingly asked Sean and Nikita if they had seen anything. Thinking about the person with the gun that had approached her, and the fact that there was a possibility no one was safe, Nikita lied. She positioned herself in front of Sean, shaking her head, “No. We just got lost on the way to the parking garage from the bathroom.”

After a moment, he told them to go home and followed his partner. Sean and Nikita didn’t have to be told twice. They sprinted the rest of the way to their car. The second they got inside of it, their mother asked them where they had been; she was about to call them. Instantly, Sean spilled his guts. At least he held to the lie about the bathroom and didn’t mention the breaking and entering of the security room. He just told her about the gunshots and the guard who had let them go. Jill and Sandy frightfully peered outside the window, apparently they hadn’t heard anything from the garage. Their mom, on the other hand, took out her cellphone to report what they had heard. 

The police were already aware, but they were ordered to stay put so they could interview the witnesses. Their mom was very practical and calm as she called their dad, explaining the situation and why they had to cancel dinner. Jill and Sandy continued to look around them frightened that the gunman might be around. Sean was doing the same, his eyes still as wide as ever. Nikita, however, was dead silent. She was afraid to speak, not with the image of the senator’s murder so fresh in her mind. Not with the fact that the people with the guns were so ready to kill anyone else- so ready to kill her for being behind the window.

Time passed without Nikita noticing. She was so wrapped in her terrifying thoughts, she didn’t realize that the police were in the garage wanting to speak to her and Sean for what they had heard. They were honest about only hearing gunshots. They lied about only being in the hall. And Nikita lied about not seeing anything. There had to have been security footage of the crime; she didn’t need to tell the truth. She also had the sinking feeling in her gut that if she did, she would’ve been in a world of pure terror.

“Are you guys okay?” Their mother asked them again while they eventually drove home. Jill, Sandy, and Sean simply shrugged and nodded. They were told the gunshots they heard had killed a senator. The fact startled them, but they swore they would be alright after some time. It was scary, yet they were safe. Nikita curled in on herself in her seat, silent. Their mom tried asking her one more time, “Nikita, sweetheart, are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. It’s nothing,” Though she knew without a shadow of a doubt that it never would be again.


	3. Chapter 2

For a week, Nikita had been terrified. That was the best way she could describe it. Constantly, she glanced over her shoulder worried that somebody was behind her. The images of the senator being shot and the person threatening her with the gun were occupying her mind. It at least did the job in keeping her quiet. She wouldn’t share what she saw even if she wanted to. Those people got past security and killed a senator like it was nothing. A highschooler would be no problem for them. So Nikita suffered in silence. She locked herself in her room (when she wasn’t at school or practice) attempting to shut out the world.

School work helped. She never really needed to study and her homework could’ve been finished the period before it was due, but she poured into it nonetheless; it quieted some of the noise. Actually researching the colleges and universities she had been accepted to and resolving what was the best choice for her was a good use of her time as well. When she had run out of studious projects to occupy herself with, she ran, swam and practiced yoga. Honestly, Nikita was doing anything that kept her mind and body active. If she was moving and focused, her mind couldn’t wander. It wouldn’t settle on the events of that night.

Sleeping was difficult, however. Nikita tried not to. She consumed copious amounts of caffeine, and refused to lie down. But sometimes the pull of sleep was too great. Whenever she did finally slip into unconsciousness, her lights remained well lit. That way, she could know her room was free of any strange person the second the nightmare woke her. Everytime she slept a new and horrible night terror plagued her subconscious. There really was no escape from what she had seen. All that blood and threatening people was going to swallow her whole.

Nikita was so close to finally saying something one morning. She and Sean had gotten back from their morning run (she usually ran with her sisters, but with them back at college she dragged her brother along instead), and were raiding the kitchen for some water and a quick breakfast. Their parents joined them, readying themselves for the day. The stress and panic from the past week was eating away at Nikita. Although she was terrified that the armed person who had seen her would make certain she’d remain quiet forever, she had to say something. Her parents always knew what to do to make her feel better. They’d assure her that everything was alright. But her mom said she was going to stay late for a meeting, and Nikita blurted out instantly, “No, don’t. They already killed one senator…”

Sean glanced at her confused. She had been claiming she was fine, that she wasn’t worried about anything. She played her usual sarcastic, carefree self. That was the first crack in her armor. It worried Sean. But it made her parents comfort her immediately. Her mother smiled reassuringly, wrapping her in a tight hug, “It’s alright. They caught the man. He was all over the security tapes. He was a disgruntled ex-employee. No one else is in danger.”

Whereas Sean was comforted at the information and went on with his morning, Nikita froze. That wasn’t right. She saw a team of people kill the senator. And they were way too professional and skilled to have been some crazed person out for revenge. The security cams should’ve shown that. Something was wrong. Her anxiety spiked and she thought she couldn’t breathe for a second. She thought she had her facial expression in check, but her dad approached her full of concern, “Nik?”

“Um. Nothing. Just decided I definitely don’t wanna major in anything political,” Nikita forced a smirk, hoping her parents would think she was referring to the late meetings and awful employees. They continued to scrutinize her, so she hid behind a leftover protein veggie shake she had in the fridge. She didn’t want to think about the conflict of what she witnessed and the story her mom told her. She didn’t want to think about conspiracies or danger. She wanted to take a shower and go to school and be as carefree as she was before. None of that should’ve been happening. 

“Smart girl,” Her father eventually smiled at her. Nikita shared a small grin in return, then ran off to get ready for the day. She missed her mother rolling her eyes at the comment. But it was good natured. She didn’t want any of her children involved in politics anyway. It was a dirty business, with many disreputable people. The farther they stayed away from it the better. Hopefully by bringing them to the office every once in a while and having them get bored out of their minds worked as a deterrent.

Madeline Pierce pondered her daughter’s actions for a moment. She thought she should’ve gone after her, pressure her into sharing her thoughts. But neither had the time that morning. The conversation had to wait for when she returned home that evening. Maybe her husband could be there with her as they talked. Nikita was always more open with her dad around. The teen was obviously stressed about something, and had been for a while. She snapped that it was school related, yet Madeline was starting to think that wasn’t the case. Something was wrong. She mulled over that all day at work and well into her meeting with Oversight. It wasn’t until she saw a very smug Percy that she snapped out of her contemplation, “What do you want Percy?”

“It’s interesting. I do what you want with Senator Rathborne, but you don’t seem to care what it is that I need,” Per usual, Percy didn’t answer right away; he enjoyed having the control. He attempted to grab it with proof of the latest Oversight sanctioned Division mission. Senator Rathborne had been dealing in things that solely benefited himself; it also went against what Oversight was attempting to achieve. Division agents were dispatched to take care of the problem. The council was meeting to discuss actions moving forward, however Percy had his own agenda. 

“So say it,” Another member spat out before Madeline could. That was probably for the best. She didn’t have the patience to deal with the calculating man that day. She needed to go home and talk to her husband and daughter. They had almost been done with the meeting before Percy’s self absorbed interruption. She desperately wanted him removed from his position, have someone more trustworthy and obedient run Division. However, he had his damn box of secrets. They were stuck with him indefinitely. 

“Well, that guard we used to gain access to the senator was very forthcoming when we executed him. He actually thought it would save his life,” Chuckling, Percy barely shared what he was thinking; he was going to continue playing his game. Division needed the guard to bypass security, complete the mission successfully, and execute the cover story. They found a man in desperate need for money, and exploited him. The instant they were finished with him, they cleaned their loose end. There would be no liabilities. No one outside of Division and Oversight would know the truth.

“Are you going to say what it is? Or are you going to make us guess?” Madeline wasn’t the only one becoming frustrated with Percy. Yet another Oversight chair nearly yelled at him. The schemer just smiled, shoving his hands in his pockets. He had all the time in the world, and he was going to use every last damn second of it. Oversight could go straight to hell for all he cared. 

“Patience. He claimed he had seen two teenagers in the hallway after the assassination- a boy and a girl,” Percy’s words made Madeline’s heart sink. She knew who those teens were, and feared something was about to happen to them. She had worked so hard to protect them from the Division part of her life, yet it must’ve been all in vain. Percy was able to read that feeling all over her face, “That was your children, right Madeline. The police report states they heard the gunshots.”

“They were meant to hear shots. There were supposed to be witnesses to match the story you created,” It was a weak deflect. The story was that a crazed disgruntled employee killed Rathborne. He wouldn’t have used a silencer, so the agents didn’t either. People nearby were supposed to hear that, and report it corroborating the fake tale. Sean and Nikita shouldn’t have been singled out for what they had heard, others heard it too after all. Madeline wasn’t feeling all too well anymore.

“You should’ve raised your children better. They lied to you. You see, I had my new hacker check the security cameras as he altered the recording. One of your lovely children broke into the office, and witnessed the whole operation. They’re a liability,” Percy didn’t seem upset regarding the fact. If anything, he was pleased. He was happy to watch Madeline suffer. And she was. She didn't care that her fellow members were staring at her with curious eyes. She had narrowed in on his words- “a liability”. They weren’t supposed to like liabilities. They were supposed to kill them.

“Who?” Although the question hardly made its way past her lips, Madeline knew the horrifying answer. The stress and fear made alarmingly more sense in that moment. Her daughter wasn’t worried about school, she was terrified of what she had witnessed. Madeline couldn’t bear to hear the confirmation out loud. It would be too much. It was all too much. But Percy was going to say it anyway. He was going to rub the fact in her face as smugly as he could. 

“Nikita.”


	4. Chapter 3

Madeline Pierce arrived home defeated. She had tried everything to ensure it wouldn’t come down to what it did. She fought, she bartered, she even threatened, but it was a losing battle; Oversight had no problem eating their own. She was forced to choose between the lesser of two evils- lose her daughter to a bullet, or lose her to Division. Either way, Madeline lost Nikita. She wouldn’t let her daughter be killed for what she had seen. She hadn’t told anyone, even when she had the opportunity that morning. But Oversight needed their liability taken care of. There were no exceptions.

It was sadistic that Percy was the one to suggest the alternative. He so cruelly gave an option for something else. In exchange for a future favor, Nikita would live; she would just be one of his recruits. He saw potential in her silence and ability to sneak around Madeline’s office. With training she’d be a stellar agent. Madeline didn’t hesitate before accepting. She didn’t think anything over or pause to consider the weight of what Percy was doing. She simply had to save her daughter.

Although she wanted to smack that smug expression off of Percy’s face, Madeline held onto the offer like a lifeline. She fought to make the other members of Oversight agree to the terms. Hours and promises later, they finally caved. Nikita wouldn’t be killed, she’d be hidden away. And Percy would have a favor to collect whenever he wanted. By the time Madeline returned home, the sun was beginning to rise. The rest of her night was spent giving Percy information about Nikita, and aimlessly driving around. She wasn’t ready to face reality. Her heart was sinking and her stomach was sick. She and her husband had lost a daughter, and her children had lost a sister. Nikita was gone.

“You just got back?” Nikita’s voice startled Madeline. She turned towards the living room where Nikita and Sean were stretching before their run. The two normally went out just as the sun came up, that way it was nice, cool, and bright. It was a routine of Nikita’s she shared with her sisters, but with them in college she forced Sean to participate instead. They’d get up, stretch, run, shower, then go to school. Sean complained the entire time, but because Nikita loved it he went along. Madeline wondered if her son would continue to run without his sister. Her heart stopped at the thought of the two separated. They had always been incredibly close, often teaming up against the twins. Despite Nikita constantly picking on him, Sean followed her everywhere. He was going to be lost without her.

“Brokering deals is a lot more difficult than you think,” Was all Madeline could say. Nikita was skeptical, but Sean shrugged. Maybe it was his age, but he had begun to not care about anything. Nikita had her moments when she couldn’t care less. Unfortunately, then wasn’t one of those times. Madeline decided to distract her. She hoped to be in denial over the plan as long as possible. She didn’t want to confront the idea of her family falsely believing Nikita was dead, “Have you settled on a university yet?”

“Uh… Washington University in St. Louis. Okay, Sean. Let’s go,” Remembering the argument between Jill, Sandy, and their mother about their school choice the year before, Nikita grabbed Sean and took off. Madeline sighed. She needed to breathe, focus on the positive. Although she’d be gone and everyone who loved her would think she was dead, she’d be alive. That was all that mattered. Nikita would be alive. If Madeline could hold onto that, she’d be able to face what was about to happen next.

A veggie shake was awaiting Nikita when she had Sean returned from their run. Their mom must’ve made it after they left. Nikita didn’t really question it as she went on with the rest of her morning. She chugged the drink, showered and changed, and dragged her slow moving brother to the car. That boy was the most annoying teenager she had ever met sometimes. And that was coming from her smart mouth, “God, hurry up. We gotta pick up Abby and Olivia.”

Her friends had texted her, asking for a ride since their car wouldn’t start- again. Nikita didn’t mind. They lived on the way to school and were some of her best friends; she’d do anything for them. The teens’ mom stopped them before they could climb into their beat up old car, however. Nikita thought she was going to comment on her outfit (her mom hated when she wore her ripped jeans and distressed tees) but she wrapped her up in the tightest hug instead, “I love you so much. Be careful, please.”

“Okay? Love you too?” Nikita questioned her mom. She was ignored as Sean received the same embrace. She shrugged it off. It probably had something to do with the meeting that took all night. Their mom would eventually tell them what it was all about, or even their dad. So Nikita didn’t worry that much about it. Though, she did turn to her dad as he was leaving for work and snarked devilishly, “What? We don’t get the same love from you?”

“I mean, I guess I love you guys. Just give hell to other people for a change,” He nudged at his children as he passed them, Nikita nudging back. That had always been their relationship- more playful than serious. Their mom usually rolled her eyes at the antics and smiled softly. Yet that time, she seemed upset. Neither Nikita nor Sean caught the expression, they were busy throwing their backpacks in the car and climbing inside. Their dad saw it however, and turned to question what was going on.

“Fuck yeah we will,” But he was distracted by his daughter rolling down the window, flashing the rocker sign, and backing out of the driveway while sticking out her tongue. The teenagers laughed at their parent’s reactions, not fearing the punishment that might occur later. There was a chance that their mom and dad could’ve forgotten it during their long day at work. Or, as Nikita teased Sean, “You’re gonna do something stupid at school that’ll cover that up.”

“Shut up,” Sean swatted at his sister; she hit him back. As they neared Abby and Olivia’s, the siblings talked loudly over the blasting radio. To them, it was a typical week day. They’d go to school and practice, goofing off with friends. Then they’d head home and ignore their homework with TV. There was no need to change up their routines or do anything special. They didn’t even think they had to.

Once they arrived at their friends’ house, Nikita indicated for Sean to get in the seat behind her; as her bestest friend, Olivia deserved the passenger seat. Rolling his hazel eyes and sighing, Sean did as she asked. He didn’t care if his foot struck her while he climbed back there. Their friends got into their seats, thanking the two vehemently for picking them up. Nikita waved them off and continued the drive. Olivia passed them gifts anyway, “As a token of gratitude and in lieu of gas money. Here’s a coffee for the addict. And the free gallon of chocolate milk we got, but no one drinks.”

Nikita was handed the to-go cup of coffee, while Sean was passed the milk; both of them were overjoyed with the beverages. Abby brought up that there was no fridge for Sean to store the milk in, but Nikita had a solution to that- he just had to drink it throughout the school day. Her brother accepted the challenge, opening the gallon and starting to chug. The teens all laughed, continuing to giggle and joke around on their way to school. They sang along to songs on the radio, told crazy stories, and teased each other relentlessly. Judging by their morning in the car, they all thought it was going to be a great day- how could it not be after they had so much fun.

“Ulgh. The dregs. Give me a drink of your chocolate milk,” Finishing her coffee, Nikita reached back for Sean’s milk. He pulled the gallon away from her, pushing her hand away. She braked behind a car at the red light, told Olivia to watch it for her, and turned around to attack her brother. She was getting that milk whether he liked it or not. He managed to fight her off, but mostly because the red light wasn’t that long. Nikita rolled her brown eyes and righted herself. She followed the slowly accelerating car, vowing vengeance the second they got to school, “Fuck you, you little bitch.”

Whereas Olivia and Abby laughed and Sean kicked at her seat, Nikita was distracted. The car in front of her was barely moving despite the green light, and a van on her left was approaching the intersection way too fast. It didn’t look as though it was going to slow down; it was going to run the red light. There was nothing she could’ve done. She was boxed in by other vehicles, and the van was determined to speed towards her. 

Somebody screamed, maybe it was her, maybe it was her friends, or maybe it was her brother. Nevertheless there was a shout, the sharp pain of impact, the scrape of metal against metal, a spinning world, and another impact. Airbags deployed, seat belts held the passengers in place, and backpacks and drinks slid around. The radio continued to play, but there was no one to sing along. The teenagers were losing consciousness.

The last thing Nikita remembered was a tall, lanky man approaching her. For a terrifying moment, she thought it was the same person who had threatened with the gun the week before. However, the world suddenly went completely dark before she could be sure.


	5. Chapter 4

The girl, Nikita, and her brother, Sean, were supposed to be the only two people in the car. The intel they received stated the girl would be driving while her brother remained in the passenger seat. That was what they had planned around; they controlled the stoplights, and they knew the force they would have to apply to only render them unconscious rather than killing them. The vehicles boxing them kept them in place for the initial crash. And the second crash knocked them out. They had acted as though there were two people in the front of the car. But there were four teenagers. The two in the back were not hit as severely as the two in the front. They weren’t going to be unconscious for long.

Roan had to move quicker than he would have liked to. A recruit they were going to cancel anyway drove the van. He thought he was going to escape with the others, instead Roan injected him with something undetectable. He collapsed against the steering wheel, dead. A cellphone with a half typed text message was placed in his hand; the story of a texter and driver would be their cover for the crash. As people were dazed and confused and fishing out phones to call for an ambulance, Roan stealthily approached the target’s car. He should’ve had more time to give the girl the serum that would make her appear dead, yet the teenagers in the back were stirring. His instructions were clear: do not kill. So he hurriedly drugged the girl and hopped in the awaiting getaway vehicle.

The girl in the backseat, Abby, could’ve sworn she saw a man touch Nikita’s neck after the accident. And the brother knew he had seen a car speed away from the crash. But they weren’t believed when they told the police. The two were barely conscious, they were in shock; their minds were just filling in gaps with a made up image. Despite the teenagers arguing, the police would never believe them. That wasn’t what they were paid by those men to do. They were supposed to blame the accident on the texter and driver, and let the ambulance with the girl drive to its own destination. There were to be no questions asked. With the amount of money they were given, why would they look further into things.

Division agents drove the ambulance to their rendezvous point. Paramedics declared the girl dead at the scene, so they didn’t need to be in a rush. They took their time placing the girl in their own van, and putting the decoy body in the ambulance. No one asked how Division acquired a look alike dead body for the last minute mission. No one even asked what the girl did to be recruited that way. The agents did as they were ordered without pushback, well aware of the consequences they would face if they disagreed. 

The girl was brought to Division without problem. Although Michael had recently been promoted to handler, Amanda and Percy said they would welcome her. Nikita had a rough experience being recruited and needed to be calmed and assured. Michael thought the excuse was slim, but he didn’t argue. As Percy and Amanda entered her room, Nikita opened her concerned brown eyes. She appeared groggy while she regarded them, almost like she wasn’t quite processing what was occurring. Amanda took pity on her, smiling a too sweet smile and nearing the cot. She began to tell her everything she needed to know about Division and why she was there, when Nikita lunged. The teen was lightning fast; she scratched at Amanda and bolted out the door. Percy simply stood by and watched; things were about to become very interesting.

It took a handful of guards and some sedatives to calm Nikita down. But she didn’t stop hurting people and trying to escape until Percy and Amanda showed her the training room. She wasn’t kidnapped, she was recruited to serve her country. She attempted to fight them on the statement. However, their confession of how she came to be in Division shut her up. Her mother hid her away after being a witness to an assassination. It wasn’t the first time she had done so. After all, she was adopted to keep her father’s infidelity underwraps. Percy told Nikita she only had her mother to thank for where she was and what she was going to do; she should think about that before trying to escape again.

Although that worked in halting Nikita’s attempts to run away, she continued to be a hellion. She snarked and berated and tormented her trainers. Michael was the only one to get through to her. No one knew what he had told her or what she had begun to think, but after that she appeared to settle. She was still defiant, but she rapidly became the best recruit Division ever had. When she was promoted to agent, her stardom continued. For six years, she outshone on missions no one else had been able to do before. Despite her sarcasm and lack of attention to rules, Nikita was a spectacular agent. Division couldn’t have trained better.

Or maybe they could have. Things began to fall apart the instant Nikita was transferred to Chicago. It was supposed to be a great tactical move for Division. Instead, their best and brightest fell in love with a civilian. Her true feelings about the black ops unit began to show. She despised the life they had given her and what they had taught her. She wanted out, to return to normalcy and love. Division couldn’t have that, they needed their agent. So they killed her fiancé, and brought Nikita back into the fold.

That was the worst decision Percy and Amanda had ever made. Because of that action, Nikita ran; she faked her death and disappeared for three years. No matter what they did, they still lost her to Daniel. Division thought it was the end of it, especially Michael. She got her freedom and she was going to stick to it. Her former handler prayed that was what she was planning on doing. He didn’t search for her despite his orders; he wanted her to stay away and happy- he needed her to be happy.

Nikita came back though. She tripped the silent alarm and sensor at both her father’s and her fiancé’s graves. Division had been so preoccupied by their new recruit, Alex, that they almost missed her. But she made her presence known. She captured Birkhoff, her former close friend and ally, telling him her idea to burn Division. It was over. Nikita didn’t kill Birkhoff, however, she just let him go (with a parting gift of a listening device on his molar). She ruined mission after mission for Division, and nobody could touch her. She was using everything they taught her to burn them to the ground. Percy and Amanda were going to feel her wrath.

Much to Division’s hatred, Nikita had a team helping her. She had a mole inside their ranks they frustratingly couldn’t find, and a corrupted former guardian, Owen. She also managed to seduce a CIA analyst, Ryan Fletcher, on her side to dig into any information and be a thorn in Division’s operations. She desperately wanted her revenge for what they did to Daniel and what they did to recruits and agents. She believed if she defeated their evil the world would be saved and she could live in peace. 

Somehow, she forced Michael to believe the same thing. The two were running and gunning their way to what they thought was right. Yet Percy caught onto their actions. He played them, unraveled their game. He was shocked to discover Nikita’s mole was Alexandra Udinov. Apparently she hadn’t always been the perfect agent; she saved a target's life. Well her rule breaking would be her ruin. Percy and Amanda were going to use Alex against her.

The plan should’ve worked had it not been for the bond between the women. Once again, Nikita’s death was faked and she turned against Division. She destroyed Percy’s operation to take over the CIA. She saved agents and fucked everything up. She even got Michael, his right hand man, to attack him. Stealing the black box full of secrets, he left Division for good. Everything Percy had built was crumbling to pieces. He thought he had manipulated Nikita and Michael with their families; he had used revenge and hurt feelings to mold them under his will. Except they rebelled.

Their rebellion cost him severely. Amanda took Division from him, and Oversight let it happen; he was locked away on their command. Percy could see the excitement on Madeline’s face at the idea of him gone. She had hated him ever since he had taken Nikita from her. However, he wasn’t going to go quietly into the night. He’d find his way back to the top. His first step would be to kill Nikita and finally get rid of Oversight. Fortunately, he had set up the perfect piece to enact that plan years ago- a mother’s undying love for her daughter. 


	6. Chapter 5

Sean kept replaying the car accident nearly ten years ago over and over again. He was told she had died on impact. But apparently that wasn’t the case. He remembered seeing a car speed away after the wreck, and being so angry about that action. His sister was dying and instead of helping they left. Thinking about it then, he wondered if that was on purpose. He also wondered if Abby hadn’t been delusional. She said she saw a man come up to Nikita after the wreck; she said the man killed her. Both Sean and Abby were dismissed at the time, they were told what they had witnessed wasn’t possible. He knew how big of a lie that was then.

He had seen her. He saw Nikita at the hotel and in the alley, he knew it. Even after ten years he couldn’t mistake those brown eyes and half smile. At the hotel, however, he thought he was seeing things. He had heard there was a rogue named Nikita and he put her image in its place. But seeing her in the alley changed that. She was real. She had seen him too. The sister he thought had died in a car accident when they were teens was alive and well. Nikita was alive and well. Sean couldn’t come to grips with the thought.

Back at Division, he didn’t know what to do with himself. He should have probably demanded answers. However, he wasn’t sure if he wanted any. He was only in that underground bunker to examine and report. He was on leave from active missions for the Navy, so Oversight assigned him supervisor duty- his mother assigned him. Sean had thought that was a shock. He thought discovering what his mother was doing with her senatorial position was the thing he had to worry about. Knowing she was in charge of an out of hand black ops unit of the government shook him up. But discovering his dead sister was alive, wrecked him.

Everything was starting to become too much. Sean had believed his mother to be an upstanding citizen who fought for others. Instead, she was corrupt as hell. Division was awful; the things they did to their own, to the world, was horrific. He was assured they were changing- they were going to focus on missions too tricky for the CIA to get involved in. And they were going to bring their rogue element in. That was all. They were going to be good. Sean bought that line for a bit. It was why he stuck around. But their enemy was Nikita. 

Sure, she was always an annoying rascal and a hellion. Yet she fought for everybody she loved. She was protective, and stubborn, and ready to right every single wrong she had encountered. There was no way that would’ve changed over the years. If she was trying to destroy Division, then they were the evildoers. It was that simple. Sean understood then why he wasn’t shown her picture at first. They told him about a rogue named Nikita and gave him the information he needed to stop her. He figured her picture or past wasn’t important; he could stop her without them. God, was he wrong. There was no way he could stop her. 

His mother had manipulated him. She said Division had to be brought back to the light. It once was good, but its previous leader corrupted it. Fortunately, a new commander was in place to set things right. They simply had to control the wild former agent causing havoc and everything would be on the up and up again. And Sean really believed that. Amanda would clean things up, and Division and Oversight would be on the right side of morality again. He would see to that with his position. He was helping to save the world. 

However, there was Nikita- the rogue element he was only briefly told about. She complicated things. Division had to have been the evil one if she was fighting it. But, how did she begin fighting it anyway. Sean knew Nikita was an agent who escaped. She also came back with a fiery vengeance and a mole inside the unit’s ranks. The problem was, how the hell did she become an agent in the first place. She died in that car accident. Paramedics declared her dead and drove away. He saw her body. He went to her funeral. So how was she alive and raising hell.

Sean had to confront his mother. Forget Merrick and the loss for Division. He didn’t care about that. Nikita was the only thing that mattered. So he skipped out on his debriefing- something he had never done before- to get the answers he desperately needed. He stormed out of the wretched place, frustrated and hurt. He was confused and disoriented, and felt betrayed. When he neared the exit, however, he spotted Alexandra Udinov recovering from a broken arm and a bullet wound in Medical. A part of him felt the need to lash out in anger at Nikita’s former partner. She was the first person he saw that he could connect to his sister, and he just lost it, “Why the hell did you leave her?”

“What?” Alex glanced at him with incredulous blue eyes. She didn’t have the patience to deal with him at the moment. They didn’t have a great first meeting, or any interaction afterwards. She was a loose canon in Division that he couldn’t figure out, and he thought himself morally superior. Both were too stubborn to have their minds changed about the other, so they didn’t even try. 

“Nikita. You abandoned her. And for what? Revenge on your family? She’s your family,” Okay, maybe he was projecting. But that didn’t excuse the fact that Alex left Nikita. She needed her mole, her partner, and she left for her own self-serving needs. Sean wasn’t going to let Alex get away with that.

“I don’t know where the fuck you get off, Navy Seal. But I don’t have to tell you shit,” If Alex wasn’t stuck in bed because of her injuries, she would’ve stomped off. Instead, she settled on a menacing scowl. It didn’t work on Sean, however. He had grown up with Nikita; he faced more terrifying looks. 

“You turned on your partner,” Stepping closer to Alex, Sean seethed. He was beginning to understand her need for revenge. He was getting the urge to rip heads apart for his sister. However, turning on a partner was a terrible act regardless of the motivations. Nikita trusted Alex, and she threw that all away. She deserved what was coming to her as a result. 

“No. I took an opportunity. Our missions just didn’t intersect,” Alex’s voice lost some of its bite. There was a story there. But Sean wasn’t concerned about what it was. He didn’t care about the past, or whatever history was between the women. He was focused on the present. And for him, that meant ensuring Nikita stayed alive. He lost her once. Since he just discovered he had gotten her back, he wasn’t going to let her go again. 

“I swear to God, if she ends up dead because of you,” Nikita could protect herself, Sean had always known that. However, the current situation was much bigger than some mean kid at school. She was facing a government organization that operated too much in the black. There were dangers at every corner. She needed somebody watching her back. She might have had those two men, Michael and Birkhoff, but she needed her partner. She needed Alex.

“I don’t wanna kill her. Besides, that’s your job,” She was sincere about her first point. Alex had said as much before, she didn’t want to stop Nikita. But her second point was said with trepidation. She might have been with Division, but it had nothing to do with Nikita. If she got hurt, it’d hurt her. She couldn’t stand the idea of Sean killing her. And he couldn’t stand it either. If that was what part of his job entailed- bringing in the rogue meant killing her- he wouldn’t do it. There was no way. His thoughts must’ve shown on his expression, because Alex looked at him puzzled, “What?”

Sean didn’t answer. He stormed off once more to leave Division. He had to talk to his mother more than ever. By the time he had driven to the house, however, he had lost everything he had planned on saying. He still hadn’t processed Oversight, or the fact that he had seen his sister. His thoughts were running rampant, and he couldn’t get a grasp on them. As he finally approached his mother, it all tumbled loose in a short and abrupt, “Nikita’s alive.”

“Sean,” His mother instantly moved towards him. She wasn’t shocked by the revelation, but concerned that he knew. Sudden anger erupted out of him. She knew everything. She knew how Nikita got to Division and how she turned against them. She let their family mourn Nikita’s death and live without her for nearly ten years, all while knowing that she was alive. 

“No. Don’t play this off or manipulate me. How the fuck is my sister alive?” Sean had had enough. It was time for him to get answers. No more half truths. His mother told him everything, from Nikita witnessing an assassination when they were teens, to having her death faked so she could become a Division agent. Apparently, it was some perverse way to keep her from saying anything about the hit. She had to be silenced, and recruitment was better than killing. That was the solution his mother and Percy created, “You did that to her?”

“I saved her life,” His mother tried to defend herself. It was the lesser of two evils. Despite being torn away from her family, she was alive. To his mother, that was the most important thing. But to Sean, that was the worst thing. She was alone, dealing with everything without her family to rely on. She was forced against her will to work for Division and for a man like Percy. Their mother left her to the wolves, and she believed it was the best thing she could’ve done. 

“No wonder she’s trying to burn it all to the ground,” Nikita was right. Division and Oversight were evil. They only cared about themselves. Everyone else could suffer. How could his mother work for such a place. And how could she make her children do the same. 

“That’s why I asked for you. So you can bring her back home alive,” Well that was some sort of explanation. It wasn’t the best, and it didn’t make up for the hurt he felt. He wouldn’t have to bring her back anywhere if she wasn’t forced away in the first place. They could’ve had her in their lives and lived happily ever after, not whatever the hell was occurring at the moment. 

“Stop. Okay. I can’t. With Division and Oversight and Nikita…” Sean couldn’t even finish his thought. He simply headed towards the door, needing away from his mother. Asking where he was going, she moved to follow him. His mother wanted to comfort him, maybe explain things further. However, Sean was done listening; he was done with all of it. If he truly meant the words coming out of his mouth, he didn’t know. He was reacting in anger and hurt. He was lost, “Just. Leave me the fuck alone. You’ve done enough already.”


	7. Chapter 6

What the hell was he still doing there. Was it some sense of duty- he had to fulfill his orders. Or was he simply so lost he didn’t know what to do. He just went through the motions, hoping to stumble along his way. He hadn’t found anything. It didn’t help that he had isolated himself. He ignored all of his mother’s attempts to contact him; he had been serious, he had had enough of her. But he also ignored Jill and Sandy. He didn’t think he could face them (or tell them the truth without risking their lives). What could he have possibly told them. Their mother was corrupt, their sister’s death was faked, and Sean was doing nothing about it.

He really should’ve. Sure he was reporting on Division to Oversight, but he wasn’t doing anything to stop Nikita. He wasn’t doing anything to stop Division either. It was as though he was in limbo- stuck in some sort of midway point, not able to make a decision. That all came to a head in the latest mission. He was caught up to the situation as he arrived, something about recovering a Division asset. He thought it was something simple. But when he walked onto the ops floor, it was so much worse than that.

A missile was leveled at his sister’s partner- boyfriend- (he was vaguely aware of what their relationship was), and she was driving back to rescue him. Her stubborn, heroic ass was going to sacrifice herself for Michael. Sean felt like he couldn’t breathe watching the red dot representing Nikita get closer to the strike zone. He should’ve stopped Amanda, found some way to help his sister. Instead, he stood by silently and watched in horror as the missile was launched.

His voice didn’t sound like his own when he asked for eyes on the target. He was in shock. He wouldn’t believe he saw his sister die again. He felt something inside him break and shatter. Things were disorienting and dizzying. All he could do was stare at the screen, focusing on the smoke. He thought of the car crash all those years ago, tears springing in his hazel eyes. He couldn’t believe he let it happen. Sean did nothing to stop Nikita’s death. How could he have not done anything. He was a Seal. He helped people. He served others. But he was sitting inside a place he hated with people wanting to kill his sister, and did absolutely nothing about any of it.

It was his fault; he knew it. He could feel himself becoming fifteen again, locking himself in his room as he sobbed. He had blamed the crash on himself. If he had given Nikita the chocolate milk like she had asked, if he hadn’t kicked her seat, she wouldn’t have driven when she did. She would’ve paused at the light, and that van wouldn’t have hit them like it had. As an adult he realized how ridiculous that was. And after learning about Division he knew she would’ve ‘died’ no matter what. The car crash wasn’t his fault. But the missile was. He had the power to stop the strike, yet he did nothing. 

But then he heard their voices. First Michael’s, then Nikita’s; they had saved themselves. Although he could finally breathe, Sean continued to be furious- at Amanda, at himself, and at Alex. She didn’t deserve his wrath. She hadn’t done anything. He was the one wrapped up in his hurt feelings. If he wasn’t too busy feeling sorry for himself, he could’ve helped Nikita. She was his sister, his best friend for years, but he was still working with Oversight. His lividity made him lash out at Alex the second she returned from the Kochenko hit, “Loving the lack of morality there. You want to stop Division, and yet you’ll help them.”

“You’re the Navy Seal assigned to this shit,” Alex fired back. Her anger with him was warranted. Sean constantly gave her hell for abandoning Nikita. Maybe she was as confused and hurt and lost as him; that was why she was hanging around Division. Dealing with a conspiracy that involved your family screwed you up, after all. However, he wasn’t going to give her the chance to explain.

“I’m following orders. That’s what I do,” Was that what he did. Sean could practically hear Nikita’s taunts in his head about a boy scout not knowing what his duty was. He needed to get his head on straight. He had to figure his thoughts and feelings out. He couldn’t afford to be emotionally compromised.

“Here’s an order for you: get off my back,” Shoving past him, Alex huffed. She had enough of him judging her for what she was doing. Sean knew he was in the wrong for that. Wasn’t his own moral compass corrupt. He believed in family, but shut out his mother and sisters and left Nikita to her own devices. He was blindly doing as he was told, despite hating himself for it. God was he a hypocrite. 

How was he going to fix it, though. Just desert his mission and run off to be rogue. Or continue inadvertently hurting his sister. His thoughts and emotions were fried and jumbled. Nothing was clear. He was stumbling for control, so he reached out for the one thing he could handle. The one thing he had wanted to hear since he saw a ghost in that alleyway, “Tell me about Nikita and I will.”

“What?” Alex turned around surprised. She wasn’t expecting that. Yet she seemed excited to be given a chance to force Sean to finally leave her alone. He didn’t care about that. He only wanted to know who Nikita became after she was taken. Was she still his sister, or had she been forced to change too much. Alex crossed back over to Sean, a smirk pulling at her lips, “Despite being way too protective, she’ll fuck you up. I don’t even think your Seal training could take her.”

There was a story behind Alex’s protective comment; that time Sean wanted to delve into it. However, he couldn’t help his smile. He didn’t need to know what Nikita had done since being taken by Division to know she could fuck someone up. Nikita was always rough and tough. She never listened to anyone. And she was usually too smart for her own good. His sister was a terror as a teenager, and that had only grown as she had. It was no surprise that she was such a formidable enemy to Division and Oversight. She wasn’t going to back down and stop, “Coulda told you that.”

Alex caught his fond smile. She caught him reminiscing, and her smirk dissolved into bewilderment. Their past interactions started to race through her mind, especially in regards to Nikita. Things that didn’t make sense before, were loosely starting to connect for her. Something was going on with Sean Pierce, “Do you know her?”

“No, no. Just. Did my reading,” Quickly, Sean wiped the expression off of his face. He knew his relationship with Nikita would be used as a weapon. Against him or against her, he wasn’t sure. But he didn’t want to find out. It would’ve been better for everybody if he stayed quiet. It seemed to be the only thing he had done right. 

“What is it about Nikita that has you so worked up?” Alex didn’t buy the brush off. Her blue eyes raked over him, attempting to study him over. Sean had learned to become stoic and unreadable under intense scrutiny. He could withstand torture and not give up any information. Yet in regards to Nikita, he was drowning. He could barely breathe. He needed to deflect Alex’s gaze and move the conversation along; he just didn’t know if he could.

“The sooner I get my mission done the sooner I leave,” It was a weak excuse. Both Sean and Alex knew it. Knowing walking away would only increase her curiosity, he stayed rooted in his spot. He hoped his steady glare would deter her. Her smug grin returned, however. She wasn’t buying his excuse for one second. He sighed. He had to give her something, so he settled on a half-truth, “She just… she kinda reminds me of my sister.”

A strange look crossed Alex’s features. She probably read into his tone, and knew he meant a sister he had lost. Yet Sean thought he saw something else in the gaze. Something like realization, “Oh. I’m sorry bout your sister. But trust me, this isn’t the place to seek out therapy or emotional support.”

“Just revenge?” That was the common theme Sean could focus on. Everyone was out for revenge or justice- whatever. There were a lot of complicated motives that added to his confusion. Some people wanted to protect others, but the way they did so only led to pain. And some people wanted to kill others, but the way they did so served their enemies. Nothing made sense, except for revenge. But, even that was tricky at times. 

“You’re the one who brought up emotional distance,” Alex was back to being frustrated with him. Sean had told her to keep her emotions at a distance when killing Kochenko. He was sort of talking to himself then. He thought having his feelings in check would help him come to a conclusion about what to do. He was wrong. Following his head and following orders was getting him nowhere except almost watching Nikita die again. He couldn’t go through that. His heart wouldn’t be able to take it. Maybe that was what he needed to start listening to. 

“What if I was wrong?” Sean said quietly. It was mostly to himself. But Alex heard the confession. Nearing him, she was trying so hard to continue figuring him out. He was all over the place in word and action, and was calling her out for the same thing. The contradiction was baffling; it was driving her insane. Everything else about Division she could understand. Yet the Navy Seal working with Oversight was a puzzle she couldn’t even begin to comprehend. A part of her thought she knew something, but she had no proof. 

Sean didn’t give Alex the satisfaction of solving anything, however. He took off without a word as he had done earlier. He didn’t need to discuss or process things anymore. He knew what he had to do. His need to protect Nikita from Oversight and Division overruled his need to follow orders and be the perfect soldier. His mother wanted him to bring his sister back home alive, then that was what he was going to do. But Nikita’s way, no one else’s. Somewhere out there, she was probably celebrating the fact that she finally got Sean to willingly break a rule. The boy scout was going rogue.


	8. Chapter 7

Michael was being so sweet with her. He was always sweet and kind, yet then he seemed to be even more so. Nikita loved it, she did. But she didn’t need it. She was fine. She had put what her adopted mother did behind her. She processed; she moved on. Her boyfriend didn’t have to comfort her or find answers. She didn’t care about reasoning. She didn’t need an explanation. All she had to do was take down Division and Oversight. That was their mission.

Sean concerned Nikita, however. Her brother being involved worried her, and kind of scared her. He shouldn’t have been there. Madeline Pierce already destroyed one of her children’s lives. She couldn't ruin another. Maybe Nikita was overreacting. They had been on a military related mission- they broke a man out of military prison. They could’ve been why Sean was there. He followed their father’s footsteps and joined the Army or something. He was called in for that special circumstance. That was all. She wouldn’t see him anymore.

God, she hoped that was true. Sean had to stay as far away from her war as possible- all of her siblings did. They deserved to have their happily ever after. Nikita was still fighting for hers. Michael was the best partner to help her with that. He was just focusing on different things. One morning, she woke to an empty bed. She stumbled out of the covers, curious to know where her boyfriend disappeared to. Nikita found Michael hunched at a computer and digging through the contents of a black box. She sighed, alerting him to her presence, “Hey. How’d you sleep?”

His green eyes didn’t tear away from the screen. All of Michael’s attention was on the information he was reading. Nikita closed the distance between them and wrapped an arm around his tense shoulders. She slipped her fingers through his growing dark hair, massaging his scalp. He relaxed instantly at her touch. She grinned softly, “Probably better than you.”

“I’ve been thinking about that mission you witnessed.” Finally glancing at her, Michael admitted. Nikita wanted to assure him that he didn’t have to look into it. It was almost ten years ago. It wasn’t important. But to him, it seemed to be. He was serious about doing anything for her. That shouldn’t have surprised her; he was always serious, “The hit was so blatant. There has to be a reason for it.”

“Yeah. It’s called corruption of power,” Nikita quipped, brown eyes rolling. Why did Oversight and Division do anything if not to gain power. She moved to the kitchen to make them both some coffee. It was something productive she could do. She wasn’t going to sit around contemplating her past. She wouldn’t let it drown her again.

“You don’t wanna know what you saw?” Michael followed Nikita. When it came to his family, he wanted to know everything; there had to be an explanation. The terrible acts couldn’t have happened without reason. He wanted to find it- he needed to find it. That fact must’ve been the same for her.

Except it wasn’t. Nikita had her explanation. Her adopted mother was corrupt. She ran a shitty organization in a perverse sense of national security. It was all self-serving. She even gave away her daughter to keep the black ops unit in power. There was no explanation that could justify those actions, “I don’t care. Unless we’re gonna help the guy who was wrongly convicted.”

“He died a couple of years ago… But. What about the car crash?” Michael wondered quietly. Nikita had told him how she ‘died’, and he knew what happened when she arrived in Division. However, their information was limited. They didn’t know the full story. Uncovering the complexities of Nikita’s past was important to Michael. The facts could bring her peace and understanding. She wouldn’t feel so hurt. But she was being so goddamn stubborn.

“Was anyone else injured?” That was all Nikita worried about. When Michael informed her only a recruit Division planned on canceling anyway had died, she nodded. She didn’t want to delve into it further. As long as no one died solely because of her, she didn’t care. It wasn’t worth her time, “Okay then. Let’s move on. Focus on the big picture.”

“Don’t you think Oversight sanctioned missions are a big picture?” Not willing to drop the subject, Michael argued. Nikita nearly slammed her coffee mug on the counter. He wasn’t going to give up, however. Their stubbornness battled with one another. Usually whenever that happened, she ended up the winner; she was a force to be reckoned with in all things. Yet in that moment, she faltered. She was tired. And she kept thinking about her brother. She couldn’t focus on shutting things down or arguing with her boyfriend.

“I know what happened, okay. A senator dared to cross Oversight, got killed, and to keep it a secret I was hidden away. Who cares about why or any of the details. It doesn’t matter,” Nikita didn’t mean to snap so harshly. Her acidity and ferocity simply bubbled to the surface. She chugged her bitter and hot coffee to settle herself somehow. The look Michael was giving her wasn’t helping. He appeared to be holding something back- something important he wanted to say. The expression was a bit too much, “What?”

“I saw you that night. During the Rathborne op. You were standing in the security office, the light illuminating you in the window,” Michael was apologetic as he confessed. Nikita needed a second to understand what he just said. He was one of the agents she saw in that back lot. He was a part of the team that killed a senator. It wasn’t as though she could blame him. It was a Division op. He had no other choice. 

Nikita stuttered for air. She set down her coffee and ran a shaky hand through her hair. Michael neared her, attempting to comfort her. She took an involuntary step back. She wasn’t upset with him- she wasn’t. She just needed to process, “You were there?”

“We were told he was selling secrets and had to be eliminated. I didn’t know about the cover story. And I didn’t think you saw anything. That’s why I told Roan to stand down,” Roan had insisted there was a witness to take care of, but Michael had shut it down. There wasn’t any proof; he was overreacting. If only he had known. If only he had known about a lot of Division’s dirty dealings. He would’ve destroyed that hellhole a long time ago. But the secrecy and half-truths kept him loyal to Percy. He knew everything then, and he was furious. 

“So Roan was the one with the gun. He also ratted me out. Makes sense,” Squaring her shoulders, Nikita was able to accept the new facts. She was fairly certain he was the one to have injected her with the toxin that faked her death. Of course he was also the soldier with the gun who had threatened her. Percy’s lap dog was excellent at terrifying people and cleaning up any messes made. 

Michael closed the space between them, and took hold of her hand. He squeezed gently, conveying his support and comfort. The situation was insane, and discovering people you knew were involved must’ve been difficult. But he was there for her. He’d listen to her rant or whisper comforting words. Whatever she needed, including the rest of the story, “It was a security guard. And a Division hacker confirmed the fact.”

Instantly, she knew what hacker he was talking about. As if on cue, Birkhoff sleepily stumbled into the room. Nikita had to remind herself that he didn’t know what he had done. He didn’t know the effects of his hacks. He was forced to do them just like any other recruit and agent. It was Division’s fault. It was Oversight’s fault. It was Percy, Amanda, and Madeline’s fault. No one else was to blame. She knew that. She really did. She ran out of the room, nonetheless. She wanted a moment to herself. To go on a run, practice yoga, take a shower, she’d do anything to be active and not think. Michael and Birkhoff didn’t deserve her anger or wrath. They didn’t do anything wrong. The corrupt people they were forced to serve did.

Maybe those feelings were why Nikita threw herself into their newest mission. Her old partner, Kelly, needed her help. She could do something about that. She couldn’t let her down. Even after she betrayed her and Alex to Ari and Gogol, she was still going to help. Kelly had been abused by the same people Nikita had. Which meant she needed to receive the same support she had. That was how they would take down Division and Oversight, by using their skills and people against them. But Kelly didn’t take the offer. She was determined to kill Alex. So Nikita killed her. Although she felt awful about that, it gave her time to talk to her old friend. They were both able to apologize, and she was able to impart wisdom, “I know you’ll make the right choice.”

Her statement made Alex blurt something. The way Nikita said it reminded her of someone she was frustratingly in contact with. In fact, a lot of their ‘choices’ discussion reminded her of that someone. It was as though one was copying the other, “Nikita. Do you know someone named Sean?”

“There’s a lot of people named Sean,” Nikita was confused. The subject change seemed to have come from nowhere. They didn’t really have the time to talk about it either. Gogol and Division were sure to catch up to them. They had to go. 

“Lieutenant Commander Sean Mason Pierce,” But Alex’s words froze Nikita in her spot. The ‘Lieutenant Commander’ meant nothing to her. However, Sean Mason Pierce did. He meant a whole lot to her. She was in shock. There was no way Alex should’ve known that name. Nikita never mentioned him, or anyone else in her family. She never wanted to dwell on it or confront those complicated feelings. So she kept it locked away for so long. Despite that, Sean continued to haunt her.

“Where did you hear that name?” Her voice was barely recognizable. It was quiet and strained like it didn’t want to be used. Alex’s blue eyes filled with sudden realization. Something was going on. Nikita and Sean knew each other; they knew each other well. Or at least they used to. Judging by Nikita’s expression, whatever that connection was had been severed. 

“He works for Oversight,” Alex responded softly. Nikita looked like she was going to be sick. That was the last thing she had wanted to hear. She wasn’t given a moment to recover, however. Alex had to warn her and an approaching Michael about Division, “Guys. Backup’s coming. You gotta run.”

Nikita didn’t register her warning or Michael’s exfil plan. She had to be pulled away from the scene and forced to run through the woods. Sean was Oversight. Her brother was working with Division to track her down. She felt as though she couldn’t breathe. She certainly couldn’t think. Alex had to have been wrong. It was a mistake. Her brother couldn’t be mixed up in all of that. She saw him in the alley, though. And she saw him shooting at her at the motel. Sean was working with her enemies. Everyone around her was used as pawns to destroy her life. But she was going to save them anyway. She didn’t know what else she was supposed to do for the people she loved.


	9. Chapter 8

“Get me everything on Sean Pierce,” Nikita crashed into the safehouse (well, Birkhoff’s house in the woods they converted into a safehouse) not entirely sure how to feel. She wanted to scream, she wanted to sob, instead she just stewed in her hurt and pain. She had been betrayed by so much recently, that it was wearing her thin. She didn’t want to be thrown around in the dark any longer. She needed something solid to hold onto.

“What?” Birkhoff glanced up from his computer in confusion. She and Michael just got back from Turkey, and a little earlier than they should’ve. He wanted to know what had gone on over there, especially since he was only given sparse information during the op. Usually they debriefed after everything was said and done. But Nikita appeared like she was ready to punch something, or cry. And Michael was just as confused as he was. Apparently, she hadn’t said anything during their entire trip back. She had been silently mulling over her thoughts.

“Lieutenant Commander Sean Mason Pierce,” Repeating the name Alex had used, Nikita nearly shouted. She didn’t have time for questions. She had to know everything. Honestly, she could probably do the hack herself. But Birkhoff was always so much faster when it came to technology. Speed was key at the moment. 

Although he started to run Shadowbot for the search, Birkhoff glanced at Michael for answers. The man must’ve ruined their mission in some way. That would explain why Nikita was so worked up. It might also explain why Michael was overly concerned, “Who is he?”

“Just do it, Nerd,” Nikita was practically screaming. She was coming undone, losing control. It wasn’t fair, any of it. And it didn’t help that she had recently killed her old partner, left Alex back to Division, and got off of a long plane ride. She was exhausted, drained. Nothing was getting better for her. 

Michael neared her, maneuvering around their dropped bags to comfort her. He wasn’t certain what was occurring. She was reacting so strongly to something regarding her brother, and he had to be there for her, “Nik…”

But Nikita wasn’t having it. All of the facts she had learned that day were racing through her mind. Everything boiled down to Division and Oversight. Both organizations had their claws dug so deeply into her, she couldn’t think. She could barely live. Nikita couldn’t do anything, but lash out at the two people who had her back despite everything, “No! You owe me! You both owe me!”

“What the hell is going on?” Birkhoff snapped back, more out of anxious worry than anger. Yet Nikita didn’t answer. She frustratingly ran a hand through her hair and stomped off. She didn’t know where she was going, or what she planned on doing. She simply had to get out of there and do something. Michael attempted to follow after her, but he knew better. She needed to calm down on her own. In the meantime, he could bring Birkhoff into the fold. If she was going to get through her shock, she was going to need all of her friends.

* * *

“Who the hell is Nikita?” Alex finally found Sean. Lately, he had disappeared from Division. He was barely there to annoy her or to watch Amanda. It was as though he didn’t care anymore. He was more focused on his own things, like at that moment. He was in some sort of evidence locker, digging through old mission reports. Alex was too tired from her latest mission in Turkey and her debriefing with Amanda to figure out exactly what he was doing. She simply wanted answers. 

“Shouldn’t you know that?” Not looking up from what he was reading, Sean snarked. Alex ripped the paper away from him in retaliation. After all that unnecessary shit the Seal had been putting her through, she deserved to know what was occurring. 

His and Nikita’s reactions to one another were too strange. It kind of freaked Alex out. Nikita had always been secretive about her past, and Sean seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. Could there really be a strong connection between them. Was that why he agreed to work for Oversight. Were they enemies, friends, some weird relation she didn’t even want to consider. There was no time for secrets, not with that war, “I meant to you.”

Sighing, Sean attempted to choose his words carefully. He didn’t want to give too much away. He wasn’t only playing with his life. There were so many others at risk, “I told you…”

“No. ‘Just a mission’ is bullshit. How do you know each other?” Alex crowded Sean’s space, her blue eyes staring daggers. She was sick and tired of him having the upperhand in the conversation. It was his turn to back down from her, “Stop lying to me.”

“Like you’ve always been forthcoming,” Biting back, Sean closed the gap between them. They were so close, Alex could see the freckle on his lip. But she wasn’t going to be distracted by that. She had information to gather, and by any means necessary. She just found out that Gogol and Semak knew she was alive. They knew an Udinov had survived the attack. She was a liability they had to take care of. She wasn’t going to let them; she had to remain strong.

It was hard without all of the right information, however. Alex knew she would never get that from Percy or Amanda. But Sean, she could get him to talk somehow. He didn’t seem as tough as he pretended to be, “Just fucking tell me. Nikita is never scared. Ever. But when I mentioned you…”

“You talked to her?” His voice softened. All of a sudden, Sean wasn’t all hard edges and rough exterior. He seemed lost and confused. And the smallest bit of hope simmered against the hurt in his hazel eyes. It was strikingly familiar. Alex came to a horrifying realization that she had seen that expression before. Although it appeared on another person’s face, the similarity was outstanding. 

“Are you related?” That was the only possibility that made sense. Nikita and Sean had to have been related in some way. The secrecy, their connection, his fierce protectiveness over her. Alex tried to remember anything Nikita might have told her about her past. The only thing she could come up with was visiting her false grave when she was telling her about Division. And the name that was etched across it, “Nikita Pierce… is she your sister?”

* * *

“Nikki has a brother? And I thought my family drama was bad,” Birkhoff muttered, attempting to absorb everything Michael had told him. He wouldn’t put it past Division or Oversight to screw with a person like that. But he never figured it would happen to someone he knew and cared for. The fact made their war a lot more righteous. The black ops group shouldn’t have been in power to be able to do that to anyone else.

“Their mother’s also a possible member of Oversight,” Michael shared the last bit of intel, holding onto that ‘possible’. They didn’t have anything that could prove that statement correct. And he wanted to remain in denial about it. He couldn’t imagine anyone sacrificing their child to the likes of Percy and Amanda. If Madeline was Oversight, she would’ve known what handing Nikita over would’ve done. Michael didn’t know what kind of parent could have done such a thing.

“Then why haven’t we made a move yet?” It was an instinctual reaction to hearing about Oversight. They take them out, Division would fall as well. Yet as soon as the words left Birkhoff’s mouth, he realized what he had just said. Things were a lot more complicated than they were at first glance, “Oh right.”

Michael collapsed in a chair next to the computer nerd, his head in his hands. Nikita must’ve discovered something horrible about her brother in Turkey. It would explain why she was spiraling much more than after she saw him in the alleyway. She couldn’t rationalize away the information. She also wouldn’t let anyone in to help her breathe, “Look if her family is fighting against her…”

“I got it. Delicate touch,” Returning to the search the rogue had demanded he do, Birkhoff nodded. Nikita had done so much for them; it was the least he could do. He’d help her get answers. He’d help her find some sort of peace. 

“How many lives have we ruined blindly following orders?” After a long moment of silence, Michael asked. He was staring absentmindedly at the black box. The three of them wanted to reverse the crimes held in that destructive thing. However, they didn’t consider that some of those would’ve been irreversible. Some sins couldn’t be repented for. They were too damaging.

“Not us. Percy,” Softly, Birkhoff seethed. The things that man could get others to do was insane. He could own a person’s soul, and control all of their movements without them noticing. Trying to burn him was bold. Fortune favored the bold, though. It was time to see if that saying was true. 

Sighing, Michael tossed the black box away from himself. The team could deal with that later. Finding everything about Sean Pierce took precedent. Also, he was starting to feel the exhaustion of travel and missions. He’d need rest before delving back into that god awful thing, “Regretting digging through the black box now?”

“Are you kidding? I’m in this all the way,” He might have had his reservations in the past, yet Birkhoff was with Michael and Nikita one hundred percent. Sure, he’d continue to taunt and tease them. But what else was a superspy team supposed to do. They’d have one another’s backs through thick and thin, and joy and pain.

* * *

“No. No way,” Shaking his head vehemently, Sean backed away from Alex. He was more panicked than bewildered, though. She knew he was lying. She chased after him, not letting him just walk off that time. She had him.

“Yes. Yes, way. You have the same, stupid expressions and say the same, stupid things,” They weren’t that stupid, but her point was clear. Everything added up that they were siblings. There were a lot of puzzle pieces missing. Alex couldn’t make sense of her conclusion. Sean and Nikita’s relationship was hardly a solution, but a door to even more questions. Except it was something to build off of. She could focus on that and force her way forward. 

Sean was going to keep denying the fact anyway. He wasn’t going to give in easily, especially not while they were still inside Division. Too many people would turn on them in an instant to Amanda. The information was powerful to have. He had to be careful, “That doesn’t mean we’re related.”

“You have the same last name. And you’re obsessed with her safety. She’s your sister,” Alex didn’t care. She was going to solve everything. She deserved to know it all. Her life was in even more danger since Semak was starting his hunt for her. If she was going to risk getting killed for her revenge, she’d want to go out without any secrets being held from her.

“Shut up,” Ensuring no one had heard them, Sean snapped. Alex had to stop. However, judging by the look she was giving him, that was never going to happen. He had to quit before things went too far. So he sighed, “Okay fine. But don’t you breathe a fucking word to anybody.”

“You’re the one hunting her down,” Alex pushed against him. How could he berate her for leaving Nikita, when he was tasked by Oversight to bring her down. And what could’ve made Sean follow those orders so blindly. She was his sister, they had obviously grown up together. Alex couldn’t understand why he would agree with Oversight. Why would he hurt his family. 

“Not to kill her,” Sean was adamant. He had already made up his mind over the matter; that was why he was digging through old files. He needed to find a lead on Michael and Nikita. Hopefully there was something he could use that would help him find them. Then he could finally leave the hellhole that was Division. And protect his sister like she had him so many times before. 

Alex’s blue eyes rolled- yeah right. Division and Oversight would rather destroy their own than lose. Of course they were going to kill Nikita. Sean wouldn’t be able to do anything else. It was either burn the threat or face the same fate, “Then what are you gonna do?”

* * *

“What do you got?” Nikita returned, ready to roll. She continued to be apprehensive, but she was substantially calmer. Her walk through the woods allowed her to clear her head. She was able to listen to Birkhoff’s information (Sean was a Navy Seal with a stellar record) without fuming in rage. She did make a snide comment when she heard he was on leave, however, “Which gives him plenty of time to follow his mother’s kill orders.”

“What if he’s just trying to bring you back alive?” Michael attempted to speak reason. They didn’t know the full story. Just because her brother was working with Oversight, didn’t mean he was going to kill her. His service record proved how valiant and honorable he was. He wouldn’t turn against his family. That didn’t seem possible, “He’s your brother. He wouldn’t do that to you, would he?”

“People change,” Squaring her jaw, Nikita mumbled. Later, Michael would get her to talk as he massaged her shoulders and held her in front of the fire. She had been through a lot that day; they all had. He’d get her to smile and laugh and relax, and they’d be able to process and breathe as a team- as partners. But for the moment, he let her walk off once more. She’d realize soon enough that she wasn’t alone, not anymore. No one was going to leave her ever again.


	10. Chapter 9

“Hey. Come here,” Michael wrapped Nikita up in his arms and kissed her tenderly. They were staying the night in some Belarussian hotel suite, and they needed to calm some of their nerves. Stopping a power hungry Division double, and saving his wife and son took a lot out of them. Especially Michael as he drew parallels to his own late family. The startling car bomb didn’t help. However, Nikita did. She saved Cassandra and Max, and reminded him that nothing was his fault. Besides, she was his family then; she wasn’t going anywhere. So when they were alone and removing their stolen waiters’ clothes, he just had to hold her and kiss her. She returned the affection. He pulled her in even closer, whispering against her lips, “I love you.”

“I know,” Nikita grinned smugly. Although she went in for another kiss, Michael retaliated. He picked her up in his arms, and dropped her on the bed. She giggled and shrieked in his ear, causing him to chuckle along with her. Only they could make each other laugh and smile after tough missions. They could lighten any mood just by being around one another. And at that moment, they wanted to be as close as possible. She grabbed at his half-buttoned shirt, tugging at him to join her. He followed her silent order willingly. The couple laid in a tangle of limbs, languidly kissing and caressing. Clothes were brushed aside like the barrier that they were, and they began to thoroughly enjoy their relaxing time together. 

Sean had managed to track his sister to Belarus. It was ironic that Amanda gave him the lead. A Division agent was in trouble. They had to help, despite what the orders said- it was what Nikita would’ve done. He dragged Alex along with him. He needed a partner and she was the person he could trust the most. Although they worked well together, he ended up abandoning her on the way to their transport. He had dug through past mission reports, and discovered Michael had been involved with the original Belarus op. If things were going south, he was bound to show up and save the day; Nikita was bound to be in tow. 

Assuming the rogues would be staying in the same hotel as Cassandra Ovechkin to keep her and her son safe overnight, Sean followed them to the suite. He really hoped his sister would be there. He couldn’t wait to see her and talk to her again. He almost forgot his Seal training in his excitement. He had to move stealthily through the hotel suite to not alert the wrong kind of attention to his presence. The suite split off into two different bedrooms. Only one appeared to have the lights still on. At that hour, it had to be agents restless from an op. Keeping his gun at his side, Sean slowly opened the door and peered inside. There Nikita was, making out with Michael on the bed; both were solely in their underwear. He was so shocked by the sight he nearly shouted, “Nikita?”

Instantly, two guns were trained on him. It happened so fast, he wasn’t sure how it was even possible. Whereas Michael moved to yank Sean fully into the room, Nikita stood absolutely still. She blinked several times as if ensuring that her eyes were working properly, that she was seeing what was actually right in front of her. She appeared conflicted. She wanted to run and jump in her brother’s arms, yet she also wanted to shoot him. The raging emotions led her to grip her weapon tighter and speak quietly, “Sean? No. No. You’re Oversight.”

“Not anymore. I got out,” Sean’s reassurance was immediate. He even let Michael search him and disarm him. He was there to help them. However, he didn’t think he could articulate his words just yet. He just stared at his sister. At first glance, she hadn’t changed at all over the years. Sure she had a couple of tattoos then, but otherwise she looked exactly as he remembered. The gleam in her brown eyes threw him off, though. They weren’t bright and mischievous, they were angry and hurt. The past ten or so years were hell for her; the Nikita that made it through wasn’t the lively rambunctious teen he used to know.

“Bullshit, Boy Scout,” Her voice dripping in venom helped remind him of that. Nikita glanced at Michael. Without a word passing between them, he reached for something in a discarded duffel bag. It was some kind of scanner for surveillance bugs. He waved it over Sean, while she kept her pistol aimed at him. She didn’t waver, and she probably wasn’t going to. She was frustrated, enraged. She was supposed to be able to rely on her family, not be terrified of their next move.

Finding no listening devices or trackers on Sean, Michael shoved him into the armchair by the bed. Sean thought he could’ve relied on him to understand his motivations. Michael was a fellow Naval officer after all. He had also abandoned Division and his mission when he discovered what Percy had done to his wife and daughter. But the rogue regarded the Seal in grave seriousness. He was going to back Nikita no matter what. If she was livid, then so was he, “No way a Navy Seal abandons his mission.”

Something about his statement caused him and Nikita to share another glance. Michael readied his weapon and the scanner, and left the room. He was probably searching the hotel suite for any surprises. He wasn’t going to find anything, but Sean couldn’t voice that. Nikita fished for something in her duffel, her eyes and gun still trained on him. She quickly pulled out zip ties, and secured his wrists to the arms of the chair. He didn’t make a move against her. He’d play it her way, only to have her understand, “It wasn’t a Seal mission. I’m on leave. Mom asked…”

“And mama’s boy’s gotta do everything she asks,” Nikita hadn’t lowered her pistol. Even with Sean tied up, she wasn’t going to lower her guard. He wanted to excuse it as her stubbornness, but he knew it was something else. Their reunion wasn’t going at all as he had planned. And he knew it was all his fault. She figured out he had been working with Oversight, and she felt betrayed. But he wasn’t going to be like their mother. He was going to right wrongs and save the day. No one else was going to be swept under a rug.

“I’m trying to help you,” Sean attempted not to sound agitated. He needed to be calm if he wanted his point to come across. But it was always difficult to not sound pissed whenever she wasn’t listening. Despite his earnestness, Nikita rolled her brown eyes and scoffed. She wasn’t ready to trust him. Why should she anyway, he hadn’t proved himself to her. Sean had thought growing up together would’ve been proof enough for her. They had always been close; they were practically best friends (well as best of friends a brother and sister could be). 

However, Nikita had buried her past behind her. After being betrayed by the woman who raised her, she wasn’t going to give her trust and heart so willingly. People were going to have to fight and battle their way to her loyalty. Although Sean was her brother and she just wanted to laugh and smile with him again, she didn’t know if he wasn’t going to turn on her as well, “Then why don’t you run back to your mother and tell her to shut down Division and Oversight.”

“She’s your mom too,” Maybe Sean shouldn’t have said that. Yet to him, it was true. Nikita was his sister, along with Jill and Sandy. And Madeline was their mother. Nothing was ever going to change that. Again, to Sean it wasn’t going to change. Nikita, on the other hand, had made up her mind. Good luck trying to persuade her once that happened. 

“Not after she sold me out to Percy,” Nikita wasn’t as acidic as before. Her voice was steadier, more steely. She had distanced herself so far from her past, she could say that fact without emotion. It was something she had to live with, there was no use getting teary eyes about it then. She could focus on other things, like assessing Sean. She wanted desperately to believe he was being genuine, that there was no ulterior motive. But she had never been so lucky. 

“And Dad?” Sean wasn’t sure what she knew about their family after her death was faked. He didn’t want to be the one to tell her their father passed away shortly after her. Nikita should’ve been there with them; she should’ve grieved with them and mourned at his funeral. It was yet another thing she had been robbed of. Judging by her expression, she already knew all of that. Somehow, she knew their dad had died. That just made it more heartbreaking really. She was well aware of what was taken away from her.

“Well, he was my biological father, so,” Shrugging, Nikita played it all off. While Sean attempted to process that bombshell of a revelation, Michael returned to the room. He tossed his weapon and the scanner onto the bed, shaking his head. The hotel suite was clear. He was gentle as he approached Nikita and placed a comforting hand to her waist. She finally lowered her weapon when he whispered something in her ear. After a moment, she shoved her gun at her partner, ran a frustrated hand through her dark hair, grabbed a shirt off of the floor, and stomped out of the room. The door slammed behind her. 

Sean was snapped out of his shock at the sound. He looked to Michael for answers, but found none. The rogue was pulling on his pants, his green eyes boring into the Seal. Upon realizing the shirt Nikita had taken was his, he sighed. But he could move past it. He crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at Sean. He tried to sit up straighter in the armchair, yet the zip ties kept him completely still. Like Michael, he could move past it, “Where’s Nikita going?”

“You’re not talking to her till we get answers,” Michael’s gruff voice was stern. There was no arguing with it. Sean figured that was for the best. Too many complicated feelings were brewing between the siblings. Someone else should be interrogating him. He was still disappointed that Nikita was gone, however. Despite being in the same place, he had to keep fighting to bring her home.

“I told you. I’m done with Oversight. I just want my sister back,” Sean was exhausted, and his emotions were frayed. His voice and hazel eyes were evident of that. Michael appeared to relax a tad. He felt for the siblings. That whole family drama was taking its toll on everybody involved. However, he was going to stick to Nikita’s side of things. 

Looking closely at Sean, Michael could spot some resemblance between him and Nikita. They were definitely half-siblings. And if they were raised together, he couldn’t wait to see how stubborn and protective her brother was compared to her. There was no doubt she’d have him beat. But Michael was invested in having the siblings work out whatever the hell was going on. Nikita deserved to be happy with her family, “So you went rogue the second you found out she was actually alive.”

“Well…” Sean guiltily let his sentence drop. He wished that were true. However, he had been so lost, confused, and hurt that he blindly kept to his orders for weeks. The second he realized how much danger Nikita was in, he quickly came to his senses. His sister needed him; he couldn’t just mope around. Michael seemed to have read his thoughts, his glare becoming more threatening. The Seal did his best to assure him that he had meant no harm, “It’s more complicated than that.”

“No it’s not,” Michael was speaking from experience. When he discovered the truth about Hayley and Elizabeth, he turned against Percy. Nothing but the truth mattered. That should’ve been the same for Sean. If he really wanted to help Nikita, he needed to put in more effort, “You’re gonna tell us everything you know. And everything you think you know.”

Nodding, Sean did just that. He’d do anything they asked- anything for his family. And that included sitting zip tied to an armchair in a Belarussian hotel suite, after being threatened at gunpoint by his underwear-clad sister.


	11. Chapter 10

She wasn’t handling it well; that much was obvious. The second Sean had walked into the bedroom she started to spiral. She could barely think. So many thoughts and emotions were running through her, it was overwhelming. Simply put, Nikita was upset. Expanding upon it, she was angry, frustrated, hurt, lost, and unbelievably ecstatic. She was so excited to see her brother again. He was more mature and muscular than when she had last seen him, but other than that he appeared to be the same annoying Sean. All she had wanted for nearly a decade was to be with her family again- to laugh and smile with those she loved so much. She thought the sentiment would’ve been the same for them. Yet she was terribly wrong. 

Sean and Madeline were Oversight. They worked for the very organization that ran the hellhole of Division and wanted her dead. How was she supposed to deal with that. It didn’t matter if her brother actually went rogue or not. He had still worked for them; he was still their stupid little lapdog. Nikita collapsed her head in her hands, and screamed. The sound was muffled, but the expression continued to be powerful. It was anguish and confusion that couldn’t easily be solved, no matter how much she wanted it to be. It also drew Cassandra from her bedroom into the main room of the hotel suite. One look at Nikita with disheveled hair and an oversized unbuttoned shirt, and she knew something was up, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. Did I wake Max?” With a settling breath, Nikita wondered. She didn’t mean to disturb anybody with her outburst. No one else should’ve been drawn into her family drama. Michael shouldn’t be involved either. But he was ensuring she had all the support she needed. She appreciated that; she was so grateful for everything he had done. It was her mess to sort through, however. Unless he could change her family’s past actions, there was nothing he could’ve done.

“No, he’s fine. But are you?” Gently, Cassandra asked again. Nikita attempted to brush her long dark hair out of her face, but it was tangled and knotted. She gave up on the soothing motion, sighing harshly. It was time to get herself together. She couldn’t afford to keep getting worked up over the situation. It was certainly something Division could use to its advantage. In that war, she had to be focused and determined on her mission. Her family and all that shit needed to be forced aside. 

“Just some family drama. Mind if I raid the minibar?” Alcohol became the appealing answer to her problem. Nikita knew how terrible of a solution it was, after seeing so many junkies enter Division and after helping Alex get clean. She needed a healthier way to cope. Yet getting drunk, no matter how temporary, would make her forget everything. With a nod from Cassandra, she grabbed all of the mini bottles of alcohol in the fridge. She even tossed some to the other woman who had survived shitty family drama that night, “You know. You deserve to drink too.”

Cassandra regarded the rogue and the bottles for a moment. She soon smiled and cleared a space in the sitting area for them to drink. Nikita grinned as well, following her and plopping down into a seat. Maybe the women could help one another process their shocking night. Or at the very least, they could make getting drunk more entertaining. As Nikita buttoned the shirt she had hastily thrown on, Cassandra came up with the suggestion, “You have any drinking games we can play?”

“I like your style. And yeah. Got one my sisters and I used to do. We drink two mini bottles at the same time. Whoever chokes loses,” Nikita waved the liquor for emphasis. It was a stupid and rare stunt she, Jill, and Sandy used to pull when they were in highschool. They could barely drink more than two mini bottles, so the faster they drank them the better. The three sisters only did that when they were home alone, and Sean wasn’t around to rat them out later. Despite that, it seemed like a fitting game to play at the moment. Besides, the faster she could get drunk, the better.

Cassandra had her reservations for the game at first. But she was soon persuaded into it by the idea of getting the bitter alcohol down faster. It took the women a round or two to get used to essentially taking four shots at once. However once they did, everything became a lot more fun. They had to keep shushing themselves as they giggled, remembering that Max was asleep in the next room. The two also had to quiet each other down when they got too excited about whatever they had started to talk about. Eventually, the alcohol was all finished. But Nikita and Cassandra weren’t finished drinking. They wanted to become blissfully unaware of their surroundings, not just merely drunk, “Uh oh. Now what do we do?”

“We steal, duh,” Nikita answered Cassandra’s question with a devilish grin. She stumbled to her feet, grabbing the keys to the hotel suite. Although she was about to embark on an ‘important’ mission, both women were giggling. The rogue was able to get a handle on herself long enough to leave the suite and break into the empty one next door. Getting into the minibar and taking all of the alcohol bottles without tripping the sensors was a challenge. But she managed it, just as she managed everything else. Well, everything else that was secret agent related. Her emotions continued to be an absolute shitshow. 

And God, drinking with Cassandra was the worst idea (just slightly worse than breaking and entering for alcohol). Nikita felt amazing, yet it wasn’t going to last long. It was a horribly temporary solution to a very complicated problem. However, that didn’t deter the women’s actions. They were wrapped up in their drunk ramblings, and the feeling that their anguish had disappeared for the moment. That was the thing that mattered most to them. They didn’t have to remember that day.

If Nikita and Cassandra were sober, their vague conversations would have made plenty of sense. They also would’ve been able to understand the confessions they were revealing. Yet drunk, it was something the women could simply nod to and forget in the morning. It didn’t take much longer for the two to lose their steam and settle down into a stupor. That was how Michael found them when he finished interrogating Sean. He rapidly grew concerned, “Nikita. Are you alright?”

“Michael! Oh. Shhh. Michael. You’re my favorite boytoy,” Instantly (or as instantly as her alcohol muddled mind could process his presence) Nikita beamed. She had been lying on the floor, absentmindedly playing with her hair. But at the sight of her boyfriend, she tried to shoot to her feet. Luckily, Michael was able to catch her as she fell. She held as tightly onto him as she could, giggling and smiling. He did his best to keep her still and upright. 

“Oh you’re drunk drunk. What about you, Cassandra? You okay?” Michael questioned Cassandra who was lying face down on the couch. She gave him a halfhearted thumbs up, allowing him to focus all of his attention on Nikita. There was an abundance of empty mini liquor bottles littering the room, and he was almost afraid to ask how many belonged to her. He had seen her get that drunk once before, after Daniel was killed. That was far worse, however, she was beyond belligerent and had to be forced into a cold shower to sober up; at least in the present she was giggly and excited. The cause was the same, though. She hadn’t learned to cope with her heartbreak. 

The mess she and Cassandra had made would have to be cleaned later. For the moment, Michael could lift Nikita securely in his arms. It was an awkward sort of bridal carry, but it worked enough to move her to the bedroom. While he carried her, she wiggled and squirmed. He was able to keep hold of her, but he had to tighten his grip to ensure they both didn’t fall. The fact made her laugh, and she attempted to whisper into his ear, “You’re not supposed to carry me like this till we’re married.”

“You wanna get married?” The question was a mixture of a tease and some shock. Michael paused at the threshold of the bedroom, glancing down at Nikita. Her brown eyes sparkled up at his green, her grin never diminishing. He smiled back just as brilliantly. It was never hard to imagine a future together. In fact, that was the easiest thing he could do. He intended to be with her for the rest of his life. He didn’t have to be married to her to make that become a reality. But if that was what she wanted, then he’d be more than willing to obey. 

“You gotta propose better than that, Mikey,” Nikita tried to surge forward and kiss him. Michael laughed, bowing his head so their lips could meet. He continued to their room, and gently lowered her to the bed. Finally free of his zip ties, Sean snapped to his feet demanding to know if she was alright. Michael rolled his eyes as he told him she was drunk. She definitely wasn’t alright. But considering it had something to do with her brother, he was going to keep that to himself. 

Nikita grabbed at Michael to join her in bed, yet he fought her off to get her some water. She stared after him, giggling over the fact that she was in his shirt while he was topless. Her boyfriend could only chuckle along with her. He’d talk to her and make her share her thoughts when she was feeling better. In the meantime, he could simply take care of her as best he could. Sean watched the interaction with intrigued and curious hazel eyes. He made no comment about it, though. He was lost in thought. Michael snapped him out of it with some sort of apology, “You were supposed to sleep on the couch, but Cassandra’s kinda passed out on it.”

“That’s okay. I don’t need much sleep. Nikita on the other hand. She still a nightmare to wake up?” Sean smirked. He remembered his sister being a literal terror anytime someone tried to wake her in the morning. However, the memory wasn’t shared with Michael. The agent glanced at the Seal confused. Nikita didn’t help as her focus was entirely on her boyfriend. She wouldn’t even glance at her brother. She was too busy babbling about something or chugging some water. 

“She’s a really light sleeper,” Eventually, Michael muttered. He persuaded Nikita to lie back and settle down. She surprisingly did so without a fight, after he tenderly brushed her wild hair out of her face. Sean just continued to stare. He was constantly reminded of how much shit his sister had been through over the years. It had changed her. Not completely, if her drunken story of almost throwing a knife at her boyfriend was any indication. But she was a different person than he remembered. He had to keep reminding himself of that.

Soothing words were exchanged between Michael and Nikita, including some ‘I love yous’. Sean felt as though he was intruding. He should leave them be, let Michael put his sister to bed in peace. Yet before he could attempt leaving the bedroom, Nikita called for him. She studied him with bleary eyes. After a moment, she mumbled the only comment she seemed to be able to make. And of course it was teasing him about how muscular he had gotten, “You probably drank a lot of chocolate milk. This is what happens when I’m not around to steal it.”

“Yeah. Coulda used you a lot growing up,” Sean wanted to make a joke, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t something he could make light of. He had missed his sister so goddamn much. He thought he could live with that pain, but after discovering that she was still alive it became clear how untrue that was. Although they were in the same room again, it didn’t feel like he had gotten her back yet. They were two different people who had grown and changed without one another. Pretending they were the same brother and sister was a difficult fact to accept.

“I’m here now, Seanathan,” Nikita slurred a promise, however. They’d get back home at some point. They simply had to keep fighting for it. Michael appeared to echo that, solemnly glancing between the siblings. Allowing her alcohol heavy limbs to weigh her down against the mattress, Nikita looked at the men with a shiteating grin. Her words continued to be slurred, yet her meaning was clear. She was determined to have Michael and Sean in her life, “You’re both stuck with me forever, fuckers.”


	12. Chapter 11

Alex was so goddamn confused. Sean left her. He made a big ass deal about saving Lisa, then he abandoned her on the way to their transport. What the hell was that. He even said something about how great it felt to complete a mission that didn’t involve black boxes, revenge, or Nikita. She had to agree. Saving the day was always amazing, and it broke up the despair she had begun to suffer through. Why did revenge have to be so goddamn difficult. Killing Kochenko was easy; she was glad that the bastard was dead. Except Gogol was on her ass. She was unsure if they knew exactly who she was, but it wouldn’t take them long to figure it out. She was in danger. She needed to kill Semak and fast.

How the hell was she supposed to get to him, though. His security had no doubt tightened, and Gogol was on red alert for her. Oversight and Amanda weren’t of much help. She was aware they were withholding information from her. After all, she was doing the same. Alex wasn’t going to do as they pleased. She was her own agent- her own person. Division and its missions could be damned. The black ops group was simply a tool to use to get what she wanted. And all she wanted was revenge for her family. She didn’t give a shit about black boxes or Nikita. Okay, she did care for her old partner. She wasn’t going to hurt her. She might have been upset, but Alex wouldn’t kill Nikita; she couldn’t. 

That didn’t matter anymore. It was all about getting to Semak. Attempting to save Lisa and taking down a tyrant were great distractions. Alex felt relaxed knowing the good she could put out in the world. Maybe killing Semak would do just that. Her family would be avenged and a bastard wouldn’t be running Zetrov. Someone better and more worthy would lead her father’s company. She hadn’t considered who that might have been, but she’d cross that bridge when she came to it. The hardest part would be destroying the man who murdered her family.

Sean had given her some advice about it. And although it was annoying, it was sound. Begrudgingly, Alex had to admit that the Navy Seal was right. If he hadn’t just up and disappeared she could go over more plans with him. She wasn’t too concerned about him, however; she had an idea about where he had gone. He was desperate to find Nikita and leave Oversight and Division. That whole situation confused her the most. Complicated revenge stuff and hiding intel she understood. Joining the organization that was trying to kill your sister though, what the fuck was that.

Nikita never said anything about her family. All she had ever told Alex was that she was adopted and that her death was faked by Division. She figured her past was too painful to bring up, so she didn’t mention it. That was how Alex felt about her own tale anyway. And maybe it was, considering Sean. However, also considering Sean’s feelings for his sister, it couldn’t have been that bad. Alex was stumbling around in the dark when it came to the Pierce siblings. She definitely didn’t know shit concerning them. So much was being held from her, which made sense considering where she spent her days. But knowing one little thing would’ve been nice.

There wasn’t anyone she could turn to about any of it. Alex had to reserve her communications with Nikita for real emergencies- family mysteries didn’t count. And Sean was gone. All she had left for answers were Percy and Amanda. And God was that a fucking joke. She wasn’t getting answers about her own family, and no way would she bring up anyone else's. That was their business to sort through. It was also their safety she had to keep secure. Division loved to exploit secrets, especially when it came to their own.

Alex needed to focus on herself. Gogol was after her, and she had a path of revenge to follow. That was a whole complicated mess to sort through. She couldn’t be distracted by friends and their family drama; her own was bad enough. Besides, she didn’t want to be relying on Division, Amanda, Percy, and Oversight much longer. She wanted free of that hellhole. The only way to do so was to kill Semak. The only way she could know peace was to murder that bastard like he murdered her parents. Sean and Nikita needed to be pushed from her mind. No offense to them, but she had far more important things to attend to.

* * *

Talking was the last thing Nikita wanted to do. She dragged herself out of bed, ignoring the pounding headache and shaky limbs. Saying she overdid it the night before was an understatement. God, she was incredibly stupid. Getting drunk did nothing besides make her feel worse the next day. At least Cassandra was in the same boat; they were paying for their mistakes together. It was a good thing their drunken chaos only contained oversharing. It could have been so much worse. All the women had to do in the morning was clean their mess and hope the other didn’t remember exactly what was said.

Michael helped, taking Max to eat some breakfast while Cassandra and Nikita collected themselves. Nikita was starting to feel guilty about how much her boyfriend supported her. She loved him, and greatly appreciated everything he did. But it felt as though she wasn't doing enough for him. She should fix that. Where to start, however, she had no idea. She could barely fix her frayed emotions. Sean hovering in the hotel suite didn’t assure her. Not only did she have to give some half-assed explanation to Cassandra, she also had to deal with her brother. 

She didn’t say anything to him. That was a terrible solution, yet it worked in the short run. After breakfast, Max wanted to go to the park. Neither Cassandra nor Nikita felt like they were up for it, and with Sean it was bound to be awkward. So he and his mother went somewhere safe, while the rogue, the agent, and the Seal flew back to the safehouse. Michael was the one to advocate for Sean. He swore he was on their side, and had given them solid intel on Division and Oversight. Nikita just went along with it. She couldn’t argue; her boyfriend was usually right about those types of things. She didn’t really want to argue anyway. She was too tired and too strung out.

The silence of the plane ride was broken by Michael. He spoke softly to Nikita, hoping she’d open up about what she was thinking. Because Sean sat far from them, she shared. It was barely above a whisper, and it was something she wished to never consider. However, there was a chance the thoughts were going to consume her whole. With her family’s involvement in Oversight and everything she was forced to do for Division, things weren’t as simple as saving the day and going home. What if she couldn’t go back home.

Her boyfriend only held her hand and kissed the top of her head in response. Michael had thought the same about himself. He didn’t think he had a home to go to anymore. Nikita helped him see that wasn’t the case, however. She had him see the rainbow at the edge of the storm. He’d do the same for her, but it was going to take some time. Comforting words and actions were the way to get them there. They just had to let everything settle first.

That was difficult for the time being. Nikita had to inform Birkhoff what was happening with Sean once they reached the safehouse. And Michael had to inform the two of what Sean told him during the interrogation. All of that information would keep them busy for a while, at least until the next Shadowbot hit or Division strike. It would also allow Sean to become comfortable with the team. He figured that was going to be the hardest thing for him to do. His sister continued to freeze him out. Her boyfriend regarded him with guarded trepidation. And Birkhoff was still confused about what was occurring. It was a fucked up situation, one they saw no end to.

Their enemies were easy to blame for all of that shit. None of them would have been there had it not been for Oversight, Division, and all of its players. Yet, they should shoulder some fault for their ill feelings. They weren’t talking, especially the siblings. What was there to say to one another. The team would focus on burning down their opponents and that was all. Complicated thoughts and emotions would just have to stay that way. Saving the world was far more important anyway. Family drama could be pushed aside indefinitely for that.

All of that shit caught up to the team a week later, however. Alex contacted Nikita about an opportunity to get Semak through the black box. That turned out to be a bust, yet Birkhoff found something else. Something that held a lot more information. Nikita’s birth certificate was on file. A lot about her family was on file, actually. And it all culminated into a lead on her birth mother.


	13. Chapter 12

“No thanks, Birkhoff. My family’s secrets are traumatic enough. Don’t need any more,” Nikita walked away from the men gathered around the computer. She had already told Michael she didn’t care about uncovering the truth or anything like that. She knew how she had gotten to where she was. Her brother hanging around the safehouse with her team was often a reminder of that. Madeline Pierce had always been self-serving and corrupt. 

“It’s about your birth parents,” Birkhoff’s statement pulled her back, however. Nikita was lying to herself if she said she never thought about them. When she was younger, she thought about what could have happened that made them want to give her up. And while she was locked away at Division, she often wondered how her life would’ve turned out if she was raised by her birth parents instead of the Pierces. Would she have had the normal life that was stolen from her, or a better one. 

The adoption story she was told as a child was that her mother had died shortly after she was born. With no father listed on her birth certificate, Nikita was destined for the foster system. Madeline was volunteering at the hospital that day and had heard her crying. She didn’t have her mother to sooth her, so Madeline did. She fell in love with Nikita instantly, and soon took her home as a new member of the family. In hindsight, that story was a load of PR bullshit. It was obviously a cover for the scandal Sean mentioned, “Isn’t Dad your biological father?”

“According to Percy and Amanda,” Scanning her file on the black box (in Percy’s enemy folder, something she was very proud about), Nikita muttered. She didn’t want to believe the two when they had first told her. Yet it made sense, despite how much she hated that it did. Her adopted mother was stricter with her than her siblings. Her father also spoiled her a lot more than them. She had heard strange comments about how she looked similar to her sisters and brother. And her parents awkwardly deflected whenever she asked about where she came from. All of those things added to a conclusion she once struggled to accept. 

Sean was still struggling with it. He had thought of the same facts, yet he wouldn’t dare consider such a cover up. His parents were loyal to their family and their service. However, his mother was overseeing a secret black ops unit of the government. A black ops unit that was corrupt as hell. The Pierces weren’t as innocent and good as they appeared. Nikita’s birth certificate on the black box helped to prove it, “And this.”

“How did you know Dad died,” Sean asked that question instead of all the other ones he was thinking of. He wasn’t as skilled as the team at processing secrets. He felt as though he was drowning in information and couldn’t break the surface. Nikita, on the other hand, let it all roll off her back. None of that was affecting her. At least, to the untrained eye she appeared unfazed. Michael noticed the tension in her shoulders and moved to stand beside her. His close presence let her draw in a deep breath.

“Amanda,” It was one of the sick bitch’s tests. She wanted to see if Nikita had accepted Division as her new family, that her old life was dead and gone. The young recruit proved herself by standing tall and nodding. She didn’t let her tears cloud her brown eyes, or her lithe body tremble. She pretended not to care. She soon passed the fucking test, and made it the whole rest of the day before collapsing in her room and sobbing. Nikita shoved all of that aside, focusing on the word she didn’t recognize where her mother’s name should’ve been, “What’s ‘Rybat’?”

“Your mom’s last name. Nikita Rybat,” Shrugging, Birkhoff guessed. He had been handling himself well during the family drama he was thrown into. He continued to find it all bizarre and a little too much, but he was rolling with the punches. Having Sean around really bumped up the weirdness. And the tension, since Nikita barely talked to her brother. However, the intel they had against Division and Oversight was an advantage. Some good had come from the batshit crazy situation.

“It’s a CIA designation. It means classified,” So the batshit events continued. Michael shared the fact gently. Mostly because he was trying to wrap his head around it; he wasn’t sure how Nikita was going to take that fact. She simply stared at the screen, attempting to force her thoughts to catch up to her discovery. 

“My mom was in the CIA?”

“Explains how she met your dad. He was Army special forces right,” Michael reflected. Birkhoff agreed with him, seeing how it was plausible. However, Sean was shaking his head. It was going too far. Although he was aware of people in the service being unfaithful while abroad, he had a difficult time accepting his father was. Despite the evidence overwhelming him, he wouldn’t consider any more family secrets and coverups. They deserved to believe in that happy family they once had. He voiced as much to his sister, yet she wasn’t listening. She was starting to ready herself for an op. Her boyfriend was the one to chase after her, “Where are you going?”

“To get info on my mom,” Nikita confessed. The mission was a distraction from so many other things she had to focus on. Yet she wasn’t going to let the opportunity slip away. Not after a decade of stumbling around, looking for a connection to her family. Her birth mother might have been different from the family she was searching to reconnect with. However, it was the best she was going to get. 

Michael continued to chase Nikita as she geared up. He wanted her to find peace, and was oh so willing to help her. But her plan was reckless. She didn’t survive an attack on the CIA months before, to go rushing back in on a slim lead, “You just escaped from the CIA. You can’t go back. They’re still hunting you down.”

“Old records aren’t at Langley,” Determination burned bright in her eyes. It would have been impossible to stop her. Michael sighed, agreeing to follow Nikita to the ends of the Earth. If she was going to be reckless, he could at least be there to support her. Birkhoff rolled his eyes as he began to pull up the information they would need to outwit the CIA and all that jazz. The nerd had learned long ago that the agents were going to do whatever the hell they wanted out in the field. As long as he had their backs tech wise, he could stay behind his computer and make as many quips as he liked.

After a moment of hesitation, Sean did his best to keep up with his sister and her boyfriend’s progress. He was going to go on the op with them. The two could use a Seal assisting them. He might even be able to get them access to the files they were searching for. Although he really didn’t want to dig into a past he couldn’t face, he wasn’t going to leave Nikita out to dry. Not again, “Let me tag along.”

“No. You’re gonna sift through info with Birkhoff. Your time with Oversight can be put to use,” She forced her emotions out of her phrasing. Yet for the past week, Nikita had been freezing Sean out like that. He wasn’t fairing much better, though; he didn’t fight against her demands. It was almost as if the brother and sister were afraid that if they talked, all of their hurt would spill out of them. They were so glad to have each other back in their lives. Having their sibling with them felt so great. Except, neither wanted to delve into the things they had bottled up so tightly. That was a dam that couldn’t be broken. 

Nikita left the room before any of the men could contradict her; none of them dared. She and Michael eventually grabbed her birth mother’s records from the storage facility. There were a few hiccups here and there, but they made it out unscathed. With Birkhoff and Sean’s help, they were able to find where her mother had been hiding out. Sean continued to hold his reservations, yet he kept them to himself. Nikita was going to chase her mother down, Michael in tow. They simply needed sleep first. Or at least an attempt to rest during the night. The couple was wired as they crawled into bed, “If it was my people out there, I’d be looking too.” 

“Okay. What’s on your mind?” Michael had attempted to ease Nikita’s anxieties. She hadn’t said anything, but he knew she was struggling to accept that she was doing the right thing. Her past was always a sore subject, and he finally understood why. But, as he had been saying, getting answers would be great for her. She’d be able to breathe. And maybe she and her brother could finally talk. She wouldn’t even talk to him in the moment though. She turned her back to him, claiming it was nothing. Liar, “Doesn’t sound like nothing. Sounds like there’s something you wanna tell me.”

“Michael…” Sighing, Nikita turned to face her boyfriend. She couldn’t put her thoughts into words just yet. Everything about families, and home, and Sean, was eating away at her. But the words wouldn’t come. Instead, she was left fishing for anything to say. The halted sentence left Michael to jump to a rash conclusion.

“Oh my God.”

“What?”

“Are you…” Soon, Michael was fighting for words. He paused, and Nikita instantly knew what he was trying to say. Quickly, she told him ‘no’. Except he wasn’t listening. The possibility gripped him tight and wasn’t letting go. She wasn’t sure if that was a positive or negative thing. Based on his expression, he felt the same uncertainty, “Pregnant?”

“No. I knew what you meant, and no,” Nikita assured again. Michael relaxed in the bed next to her, breathing a sigh of relief. She knew what that meant too. Having a baby in the shitshow they faced everyday would’ve been a nightmare. No way could they have brought a kid into all of that. It wouldn’t have been fair for such an innocent life. Besides, the couple was continuously thrown new family drama to deal with. They couldn’t add more.

“Oh. Good. Not good, I mean. Well I… you know what I mean…” Michael spluttered. Nikita nodded, agreeing that she did. Whereas he flashed her a crooked grin, she remained serious and deeply lost in thought. He reached for her, running a gentle hand over her olive skin. She relaxed slightly at the motion, and shifted closer to him. His smoky voice soon expressed the concern shining in his green eyes, “What is it?”

“I feel like you’re sacrificing so much for me, but I’m not doing anything for you,” Nikita deflected by sharing what she had thought earlier. She felt guilty that her team was putting so much effort into the things she wanted. She had to return the favor. She just wasn’t sure how. Maybe finally destroying Division and Oversight would get her close. They’d all have their happily ever afters. Or, at least the chance to have one.

“If I can’t get my family back, then I can at least help you get back yours,” As serious as ever, Michael admitted. He smiled at Nikita once again, and once again she didn’t smile in return. She turned her back to him for the second time, attempting to hide behind covers and pillows. She probably could put words to her thoughts if she tried hard enough. But she didn’t want to. The emotions hurt too much, and she was just so goddamn tired. Unfortunately, she had someone in her life that would call her out on it, “It’s about Sean, isn’t it? You need to talk. Either to him or to me.”

“I don’t think I can.”

“Talk?”

“Get back to that family,” Michael almost didn’t hear Nikita. She barely spoke above a whisper, afraid to recognize that feeling. For ten years she had been fighting to return home. Ten years of wishing to be with her family again. Yet after discovering Madeline’s and Sean’s connection with Oversight, she didn’t know if that was even possible. Her brother did join her crusade, and he seemed to be doing everything in his power to help her. But her sisters still thought her dead. Her dad died believing he lost a daughter. And her corrupted as hell adopted mother gave her up. Both of her mothers had given her up. Sure there were answers to fight for regarding her birth mother. But what family did she have to fight for.

“So you’re searching for something else,” Michael understood. When Nikita didn’t say anything, he wrapped her tightly in his arms. She settled against him, breathing just a tad easier. He placed tender kisses along her cheek and neck, his fingers caressing her abdomen. He didn’t speak for a long while. She had her moment of silence to calm her racing thoughts. There wasn’t much he could say anyway to argue against her or try to bring her peace. It was complicated and messy; he couldn’t offer her an easy fix, even if that was all he wanted. Instead, he whispered words she had said to him a week prior. Words that brought him out of the darkness and into her light, “You have a family. Right here.”


	14. Chapter 13

_ Twenty Years Earlier _

Nikita launched herself at the bully without thought. She had been dealing with that jerk all day, hearing him tease her relentlessly. It wasn’t until after school, however, that she let it get under her skin. She was waiting with her siblings to be picked up; a bus was coming to take them to the daycare center until their parents got off work. It was something the Pierces did everyday- nothing out of the ordinary- yet Nikita’s bully followed her. And when he discovered Jill, Sandy, and Sean were her siblings, it only got worse. Obviously, she was adopted. One look at her with her family and everybody knew. No one ever said anything mean about it, except the bully. He taunted that she didn’t have a real family, and that nobody loved her. She snapped.

She tackled the bully to the ground, and beat him as best as she could with her little fists. Jill and Sandy stood by, shouting at their sister to leave him be. Sean ran away, frightened. Nikita wasn’t letting up. Not until her third grade teacher ran over to rip her off of him. She was dragged to the principal’s office (along with the bully and her siblings), where parents were called and a nurse was brought in to attend to injuries. It took some time, but Madeline Pierce arrived to attend to the fallout of the fight. Nikita remained stubbornly stoic the entire time, as she always did whenever she was yelled at and dealt punishments. The bully deserved it. She was right.

However, when her mom asked what caused her to be so violent, tears welled in her brown eyes. Nikita attempted to hold them back, but her chin trembled and her voice wobbled. No one loved her. Madeline was quick to comfort her daughter. She wrapped her in a tight embrace, and assured her that that would never be the case. She was a part of their family no matter what. Mean words from a bully meant nothing. Although she was still in trouble at school, she was saved from her grounding at home. How could she be punished for loving her family so much, she didn’t know what to do once no one loved her back. Fortunately, that would never happen.

_ Present _

Like mother, like daughter: superspies on the run from the very organization that had created them. Nikita had been nervous when she and Michael arrived at her birth mother’s house. She didn’t know what to expect; she didn’t know what she was going to say. Turned out, she had to worry about guns and Division instead of how to talk to Anh. At least she knew her mom had looked for her once the heat of the CIA investigation had died down (an investigation based on a false claim). She had something to hold onto as Division crashed the scene. And as they awkwardly brought her back to their safehouse. 

Birkhoff did his best to just go along with it. He mumbled something about a guest room, then focused on taunting Michael for the big ass gun he brought back. He had been doing well with adjusting to Nikita’s family drama. A lot better than she and Sean were. The nerd was great to keep around; she was glad to have him. Her birth mother, on the other hand, she continued to feel conflicted. Sean did too. What were they going to do since Anh was at the house. Keep getting answers, obviously. But then what, have her join their rag tag team or clear her name with the CIA. The way she reacted to a vague suggestion of the latter option, however, that might not be the case.

Michael advised they sleep on it. Birkhoff readily took up the idea, as did Sean. The Seal had been staying away from the situation already. He had faced enough harsh information about his family; his mother ran a corrupt government organization, his sister’s death was faked, and his father was an adulterer. He didn’t need any more hurt like that. Nikita didn't either, but she was determined to just keep digging. Once her mind was set on something, it was impossible to steer her away. And she was set on scrambling around for a family. His sister had a family with him; she had to have seen that. Maybe if he said something, she would have. Instead, he remained silent and sullen.

Nikita tried to sleep. Turn her brain off and not think. She’d be able to deal with everything if she just rested. She could sort her feelings about Anh and Sean, and just what the hell she was going to do about all of it. However, a loud crash from the other room startled her out of that. She snapped to her feet, gun in hand and ready for a fight. It was only Anh looking for something to drink, however. Nikita made a quip about drinking Birkhoff’s expensive stuff. Then, the women simply stood there staring. They knew what they wanted to say to one another, they just couldn’t put the words to it. 

The two settled on easier topics: Division and the CIA. Nikita could still barely talk about her time in Division. Sean had asked her once, soft and scared about what she was going to say. She didn’t say anything. In fact, she left the room completely. With Anh it wasn’t any different. Her birth mother shared about her time in the CIA and how she met her father, and she stayed silent. Until there was an opening for a very important question. Nikita summoned all the courage she had to ask it. She was terrified to know the answer. Yet she wouldn’t have been able to live without the information. Why was she given up.

Anh comforted her as best she could. She blamed her spylife, the crime she was falsely accused of, and that her father thought it would’ve been better if she grew up with a family. Nikita couldn’t help but to burst out laughing. Growing up with the Pierces might have been better for eighteen years, yet she was sold out the second it was convenient for Madeline. Her mother shook her head. Her father loved her fiercely; he wouldn’t have let that happen to her. Besides, maternity wasn’t what she thought. Sometimes a person did things to protect their child that didn’t make sense.

She understood what Anh was talking about. Nikita knew she was referring to both herself and Madeline. But all she could think of was Cassandra. When they were drunk, they said things to each other that if sober they would’ve caught on to the vagueness. After Nikita raved about how sweet and kind and talkative Max was (he really loved soccer and really hated piano), Cassandra muttered that he got it from his father. The rogue laughed at the statement, until the former first lady said that paternity wasn’t what she thought. The statement meant nothing to her at the moment. But remembering it, it became a huge shock.

Her first thought was to tell Michael. Nikita didn’t think about the ramifications of processing that information aloud. She was only partially aware that Anh heard her. Michael had to know what she just figured out; he had to know he had a son. She was settled for a moment by her birth mother, however. She had to calm down if she was going to share such huge news. Her boyfriend would need her steady if he was going to handle the bombshell she was going to drop. She had to trust Anh on that one. Strangely, she did. And after an awkward hug and a quiet thanks, she went to follow the advice.

For once in a long time, Nikita fell asleep at peace with mother figures. There was still a lot to sort through. But her birth mother was protecting her. She wasn’t abandoned, she was kept safe. At least it seemed like that for a couple of hours. Again, she was startled awake by loud noises in the other room. That time, it was Anh threatening Birkhoff with a gun and demanding the black box for Amanda. Without hesitation, Nikita launched herself at the woman. It must’ve all been a lie. The black box information, the records at the CIA, Anh. Everything was a Division creation to fuck with her. She wasn’t going to let them get away with it.

No one was a match for the full force of Nikita. Her fists rained down on Anh, beating her to a bloody pulp. She didn’t care about what she was doing. Her anger and ferocity were going to be felt. They used her family against her. Weren’t Madeline and Sean in Oversight enough. Why couldn’t they leave her heart alone. Why couldn’t she just have one fucking family. Michael and Sean soon rushed into the room. Her boyfriend tore her off of the Division agent, claiming they needed her alive for information. That didn’t stop her brother from delivering one final kick, however.

Everything after that seemed to happen too fast. Anh stated she was called up on an old Division operation; apparently, that venture had been in Percy’s playbook for years. The team didn’t have the time to delve into that or uncover the truth from the lies. Enemy agents raided their safehouse. Armed with guns and their wits the four of them managed to hold them all off. Nikita did have Birkhoff deliver an airstrike, though. It was risky, but it was their only option left. They were lucky enough to survive the missile strike and walk out of there all in one piece. Well, almost in one piece. Nikita felt as though her heart had been torn to shreds. She couldn’t handle any more lies or cover ups about her family. Division already took so much from her; it couldn’t keep taking more. 

Killing Anh somewhat helped with that pain. However, she mostly shot her so she wouldn’t tell Amanda what she had accidentally let slip. Michael was Max’s father. Nikita finally told him, when they were looking for a new safehouse. He was shocked to say the least, yet he handled it a little better than she had. He simply had to take a walk alone to process the news. She let him go, leaving her with Sean. Her brother had been great during the shootout; they really needed him back there and he stepped up. She was going to say as much. But he beat her to it, apologizing, “Nikki. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Sean,” He had nothing to be sorry about. Division and Oversight enjoyed messing with people’s emotions. That was probably how they got him to work for them in the first place. Nikita understood. Besides, when it came down to it, Sean chose her over duty. She could hold tightly onto that. It was proof not all was lost.

“We’ll get answers. And we’ll make ‘em all pay,” His conviction was a turnaround from earlier. Yet after everything regarding Anh, he realized how important uncovering family secrets was to his sister. Sure it hurt. But the clarity was liberating. Nothing was held from them. Nikita and Sean were free to make their own decisions, uninfluenced by those around them. They couldn’t be controlled by secrets. No one had that power over them anymore.

“No boy scout righteousness?” Nikita nudged Sean, flashing him a smirk. The siblings began to laugh softly. Their emotions were still frayed, but they could settle there. They could tease one another as they had always done. It was somewhere to start.

“It’s about time I finally got grounded too,” Sean nudged Nikita back. The two could continue talking. They could see a light at the end of the tunnel. It wasn’t all hopeless. Their family was right there, suffering and laughing the same.


	15. Chapter 14

“It’s something to think about. Kids and the life after this,” Sean sat next to Nikita, startling her out of her thoughts. They were crashing at some sort of abandoned warehouse while Birkhoff was on the search for a new safehouse. As the siblings were going through their supplies and what they had to acquire, Michael was digging around on the computer. His emotions continued to be ragged after discovering Max was his son. Nikita did her best to comfort him, but they were rushing into unknown territory. What could any of them really do.

They could focus on attacking Division. That was as good a first step as any. They could also finally talk to Sean. Well, more Nikita than Birkhoff and Michael. The men got along fine, even beginning to joke around from time to time. The siblings simply had to work on their relationship. At least they were talking. The two told each other about themselves and what they had been doing for the past ten years. They didn’t mention their family, though. They didn’t think they could. It hurt too much. Nikita usually deflected the conversation off of her thoughts and feelings, like she did at the moment, “You think about kids?”

“Yeah. You don’t?” Sean said it so nonchalantly. Maybe because it was easier for him. He had always seen kids as part of his future. It made sense to him. He held family in high regard, of course he was going to have one of his own some day. Nikita, on the other hand, was fairly certain she had only thought about kids twice. Once, for a brief moment, with Daniel (someone she still hadn’t told her brother about). And once again, for an even longer moment, with Michael. Having kids wasn’t a big deal to her. If it happened, it happened. Yet for Michael and Sean, it seemed immensely important.

“No. I’m surprised you have the time,” Shrugging, Nikita kept the attention on Sean and his insane Seal life. She wasn’t willing to dive into all of that. Her brother could; she’d just sit back and listen. One day, talking wouldn’t be so hard for her. She’d be able to say everything she was thinking and feeling. She knew practice made perfect, but why not practice on other subjects. Kids, family, and a future she wasn’t sure she’d live to could stay trapped in her throat.

Sean, however, stuttered. He turned his hazel eyes away from Nikita, and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. She bit her lip from making a comment on it. She was sure he’d open up to her in a second; she couldn’t push him. She also didn’t want to. A bad feeling crept in her stomach that he was about to tell her something hurtful. Not intentionally, but it was going to sting nonetheless, “Oh. Well… Jill has a son. His name’s Riley- he’s three. And uh… she’s got another on the way.”

“Oh. I didn’t know. She’s married?” Nikita swallowed. She had expected her siblings to continue living their lives. They’d mourn her, but they’d continue living their normal lives. Hell, she wanted that for them. Her siblings deserved to be happy. Knowing she wasn’t a part of that, though, was painful. She should’ve deserved to be happy with them. Instead, she was constantly fighting for her life and for everyone she cared about. 

“Remember Conner? They started dating before… They’re married,” Sean couldn’t bring himself to mention Nikita’s death. After a decade, he still couldn’t. It was easier to let the sentence drop and move on. He’d remind his sister about Jill’s boyfriend from college turned husband; that was simple, and it let Nikita nod along. The siblings were probably hurting themselves more by not talking about the difficult things. Yet they couldn’t make themselves do it. Not at the moment. Not when they were reeling from a Division plant pretending to be Nikita’s birth mom, while her adopted mom was trying to bring her down. 

“Good. I liked him,” She was able to make a comment about that. She had met Conner before everything went to hell. Jill really liked him, which made everyone like him as well. Nikita was glad that he stuck around through all the craziness. He was a good guy. She already knew Sean wasn’t in a relationship; he had been too busy with the Navy and Oversight. But she wondered about Sandy. Her curiosity was getting the better of her. She had to know how her family was. The pain didn’t matter, “What about Sandy?”

“Not married. But she and her girlfriend are really close,” Sean admitted. A satisfied smile overcame Nikita as she muttered an ‘I knew it’. The siblings collapsed in laughter. It wasn’t all lost. If they could find the light amidst all of that darkness, they were going to be alright. That hope was something to hold onto. 

“They become lawyers?” Nikita asked for more. Talking about her sisters wasn’t as difficult as she had thought. Over the decade, she had trained herself not to care about her adopted mother. She had abandoned her to Percy and Division; Madeline didn’t get to be in her heart. But Nikita couldn’t stop loving her siblings and her dad. She got Sean back. Despite them living without her, she could get her sisters back as well. She’d have a new family, made up of siblings and her ragtag team. It’d be messy, but it’d also be perfect.

“Yeah. Took a year off after… but yeah. They’re pretty good at it,” He skipped over the mention of her death again. But he still managed to brag about Jill and Sandy. His sisters had accomplished great feats- that included Nikita. She was so brave and strong, fighting against the world. She also made such strong bonds with her friends and boyfriend. Sean had always looked up to her (not that he would ever give her the satisfaction of knowing that). He could only wish to be like her. 

“Cool. You’re not playing for the NFL, though,” Nikita teased. At fifteen, that was his only focus; it was football or nothing. She couldn’t really blame him, though. When she was a teenager, she mostly tried to prove herself a rebel who was too cool for anything. It was funny how quickly things could change. One instant they were taunting each other in their beat up old car on the way to school, the next they were growing up way too fast without one another. 

The siblings both forced that thought away. Sean and Nikita could continue teasing each other, like old times. There was no need for them to be dragged down by the past anymore. They kept claiming there was a future ahead of them. Might as well actually start believing that. So Sean brought up Nikita’s old joke from when they were kids, putting a new spin on it, “And you’re not a doctor. But you did become your backup. You’re a menace to society.”

“Can’t believe Madeline actually helped with that one,” She was still kidding. Nikita’s sarcasm had definitely grown more powerful after spending time with Michael, Birkhoff, and Alex. She could also rapidly come up with a biting remark after experiencing Amanda and Percy. Sean, however, hadn’t quite picked up on all of her jokes. He thought she was being serious, back to her lividity of the situation. Moving closer to her, he tried to comfort her. 

“She said she was trying to protect you,” Sean was hesitant to bring up his conversation with their mother. Although Nikita might have been fine talking about themselves and their sisters, she hadn’t mentioned their parents at all. He had half expected her to ask about their dad’s death, but she kept avoiding it. In her defense, she wasn’t able to heal like the rest of them. She had to push all of her feelings aside to survive in that hellhole.

She continued to push her feelings aside to survive in that war. Nikita needed to remain strong. She had to remain tall and unflappable for her team. Michael might’ve seen through her defense at times and knew the right words to say to calm her. And Alex and Birkhoff might’ve been able to make her relax with some quip of theirs. But Madeline was a subject that had no solution. It wasn’t something she was willing to forgive, or forget. She’d push it down and move forward and never look back to her, “I don’t care.”

“So you’d rather be dead?” Sean blurted without thought. He wasn’t seeing their mother’s side of things- what she had done was wrong. But he understood the need to protect family no matter what. Nikita being away from them was awful, yet she was alive. She had friends and she had love. It wasn’t all terrible. 

Nikita remained silent, regardless. There were strange blessings that came from Division. There was Michael, Birkhoff, Alex, Owen, Ryan, and Daniel. But there were also so many terrible things taken from her. She focused on the positive most days; her team- friends- supported her. However, there were those days when there was only darkness. It had the potential to consume her whole. The thought of death wasn’t far from her mind. Luckily, the nerd distracted her with a text of a safehouse he found, “It’s Birkhoff. Ooh. A beach house.”

Watching his sister hop over to her boyfriend, Sean didn’t want to think anymore. He stared at Michael and Nikita while they talked. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he knew it was something serious and somehow light. Those two seemed to have their own language when it came to that sort of thing. They were a force to be reckoned with, that was for sure. They also were the only ones to get through to each other. Sean had been cautious of their relationship at first. However, they were happy and great for one another. 

“Ryan,” Nikita’s shout drew Sean from his musings. He joined her and Michael to see what she was talking about. One of the computers they had set up pinged with some kind of notification. Whereas her brother and boyfriend were confused as to what it could’ve been, she hurriedly typed a command into the keyboard. Soon, the three of them were listening to a phone conversation.

“I thought he was in prison,” Trying to catch up, Sean wondered. He thought he had their team figured out. Michael was Nikita’s partner in every way, shape, and form. Birkhoff was their tech expert and comic relief. Ryan was their CIA guy who went to prison after helping stop a Division hit against the agency. Owen was out in the field, actively searching for black boxes as he detoxed from Division drugs. And Alex was once on their team, but her revenge mission had her all mixed up and confused. No one was blaming her for that. They all understood. Besides, she was the one who had tipped Birkhoff off about Anh. She might have been using Division to get to Semak, but she was still on their side. 

“Yeah. It’s one of the ways we set up communication. He wants to meet,” The second the phone call between Ryan and his mother ended, Nikita concluded. Apparently, while he was still an analyst, they set up a code word to know something important was going down. He mentioned his brother Sam, and she was ready to rush off to him. Sean was confused, and asked what exactly was occurring. His sister could only shrug. 

Michael brought everything into perspective by reminding Nikita of the danger still out there. As much as he wanted to go to Ryan as well, they needed to take precautions. There was a chance after Operation Sparrow Oversight had their eyes on the analyst. If they went in headfirst, they were going to get burned, “Division might be trouble.”

“Did you ruin any ties with Oversight when you went after me?” It was so sudden, both Michael and Sean felt as though they had whiplash. Nikita was serious in her topic change, however. She generally wanted to know if her brother could go back to Oversight without problem. Her boyfriend caught onto her thoughts, and though he had his reservations, he didn’t argue. It was a smart idea. And they were going to need as many advantages as possible. 

“I think with Alex, but…” Sean continued to not understand what was occurring. Rolling her brown eyes, Nikita asked again if he had severed ties with Division or Oversight. Alex was a free agent, her and Sean’s relationship didn’t matter at that moment. He explained that all he had done was cuss out their mom. He could plausibly go back and act as if nothing had happened (the Division agents that swarmed the old safehouse were dead, so no one could argue against him). That was exactly what she wanted to hear.

“Great. I need to know what Division’s thinking. What better way than a mole,” Said aloud, Michael sighed at Nikita’s suggestion. Her and moles. But again, he wasn’t going to say anything against it. She was usually right. Sean had to take a moment to accept if he was really ready for that or not. He could go rogue for his sister. But could he spy against their mother for her. Turned out, the answer was an easy yes.

“Fine. But only ‘cause you asked so nicely,” Sean relented. He couldn’t say much against it. After all, he had agreed to help Nikita in any way possible. She smirked in satisfaction, and pulled him along with her to create a plan. Michael assisted with that, biting back his laughter. The siblings began to bicker as any brother and sister would do (she called him a dumbass boy scout again, making him whine in protest), and the agent couldn’t stop himself from smiling. The team might have been broken by many different things. But with the friends and family they surrounded themselves with, they were rebuilt stronger than ever. They were going to survive.


	16. Chapter 15

Ryan was dead. It wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t right. But he was dead nonetheless. Sean had warned Michael and Nikita about it. They were right to suspect that Amanda was monitoring Ryan. Oversight wanted him dead after discovering Gaines was a member. They tried to break him out of prison before that happened. But they were too late. Nikita was too late. She watched her friend die at the hands of Division, and there was nothing she could’ve done about it. Her boyfriend was even shot during their attempt. It was nonfatal, but the threat of the fate awaiting their team was as dangerous as ever. Death might’ve been closer at hand than their wishful happily ever after.

So Nikita went off the deep end. She pressured Sean into telling her everything that was going on with Oversight. Unfortunately, he didn’t know all of the members. He only interacted with his mother. The other members were kept a secret. Madeline said it was for his protection, yet that excuse was starting to thin. He managed to give Nikita the intel on where they were moving Gaines, though. She could take him and get all the answers she wanted. Was it selfishness, stupidity, or recklessness that made her enact that plan alone. Michael had been shot; he needed to rest. She also couldn’t lose him like she had lost Ryan and Daniel. He had to live, which meant she had to face Gaines and an Alpha Team on her own.

That was probably what made the mission such a failure. Nikita didn’t tell anyone her plans- not Michael, and certainly not Sean. As her mole, however, he should’ve known. He was there at the apartment as well. And when Gaines began to talk about Oversight, he shot him. In his defense, he mentioned their mother in a room full of Division agents. Sean killed him to protect their family. Regardless, Nikita was furious. There were bullets flying to put her focus in, though. She was able to hold her own for a moment. Sean helped where he could, but he couldn’t blow his cover. They were lucky that Michael arrived when he did. The team took out the threat, and Nikita was able to escape.

Back at the temporary safehouse, Michael and Nikita argued. Her frantic need to never lose him was of course reflected; how could she not see that he couldn’t lose her either. Her going off on her own had scared him, just as much as him getting shot had scared her. The both of them didn’t know what they would do if something happened. Their hurt feelings raged, and the couple lashed out at one another. Sean eventually joining them at the warehouse didn’t appease anything. Nikita’s lividity turned towards him. They were supposed to have gotten information. They’d get intel on the members of Oversight, then they’d avenge Ryan. However, her brother stood by his decision to kill Gaines. He was protecting their family. Although Michael agreed that they needed the information, he saw Sean’s point. Protecting who you loved was always the priority. She simply glanced incredulously at the two before stomping off. 

Whereas Michael gave her a moment to calm down before going after her, Sean left the safehouse. He needed someone reasonable to talk to, someone who was impartial on the matter. Birkhoff wasn’t; he’d side with Nikita about the information. Maybe she was right about that. Yet when was she going to realize all of their family members were important. That included her and Madeline. It was frustrating. He needed relief. So he trudged back to Division to seek out Alex. If anyone knew about ‘bad guy’ parents, it was her. Her father was some kind of mob boss, but she still loved him. She definitely loved him enough to seek revenge. He had to talk to her, “How’d you deal with Nikita?”

“Sure, come in. Welcome to my cell,” Alex muttered at the sight of Sean. The Seal practically broke into the recruit room Amanda was forcing her to stay in, moping about his sister. She wasn’t surprised to see him return to hell that time. But when she had walked into Amanda’s office earlier to find him going over a mission report, she was bewildered. She thought he had left to help Nikita. He talked all of that shit about family and protecting loved ones, and he was back with his sister’s enemies. He even claimed his absence was due to an Oversight assignment. It all made sense, however, once she ran into him at the park; he was talking on the phone with Nikita. First her partner, then her boyfriend, and finally her brother- Nikita sure did love a mole.

“I thought you were free to come and go,” Sean changed the topic, hearing what Alex had said. Things must’ve changed while he had been away. Not much with Amanda still in charge, Oversight still a pain in the ass, and both not sharing information with each other thus allowing his excuses to be readily accepted. But Alex appeared agitated. He must’ve missed something. Her path to revenge was more than likely dragging her down. Or it was becoming more complicated than anyone could’ve imagined. He was certainly able to understand that.

“Protection against Gogol,” So it was getting complicated. Alex had expressed that she felt someone following her after she ran into Gogol in Turkey. When she and Sean were at the park, that suspicion was confirmed. They were both fortunate the other was there. They had saved each other’s life. Only she seemed to be dealing with all of the fallout from the shooting, however.

“You’re welcome by the way,” Sean smirked, attempting to lighten the mood. He plopped down into the desk chair, and Alex rolled her blue eyes. Moving past him, she kicked at his sprawled out legs and collapsed on her bed. The whole situation with Yuri and Gogol was a nightmare. She couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that her childhood friend had tried to kill her. He wanted her dead, because of some lie told by Semak. Honestly, if that wasn’t enough motivation for her to kill that vile man, she didn’t know what was.

“I saved you back. Now what’s up with Nikita?” Alex didn’t want to delve into what she was experiencing. She’d rather flop back on the recruit bed and listen to Sean’s story. She was aware Ryan was being monitored, but she didn’t think Oversight would be so flagrant as to kill him. She was heartbroken to know she was wrong. Things didn’t get much better for Nikita, Michael, or Sean. Their arguments hadn’t been resolved. And they continued to reel from the loss of a team member. It was becoming too much for all of them. Alex could only sigh, “Well, yeah. I’d be pissed too.”

“I thought we were destroying Oversight,” Sean tried not to whine. Or be so loud; anyone could have stumbled upon the two talking and overheard them. He just thought he could have found support in his decision with Alex. Maybe the heavy effect of everything that was occurring was affecting them. Warring against Division and Oversight (and then Gogol for Alex) was far more exhausting than anyone knew. They were frayed and struggling. Disagreements and rejection of rational thought were bound to happen.

“You gotta know the members first,” Despite not agreeing with Nikita on some of her other decisions, Alex understood that one. Information was like gold in their crusades. You could take out players on their team. But if you didn’t know the game they were playing, then what was the point. The team had to think smarter, not harder. The people they were up against were a lot more maniacal and meticulous than the Seal had ever faced before. He needed to adapt to the new field. 

“We were in a room full of Division agents. I wasn’t going to let them know my mother was a part of the group that kidnapped them and forced them to kill,” It was the same defense he had yelled at Nikita. She didn’t even want to listen to him. How had her stubbornness gotten worse. Yet it didn’t matter. He’d continue to argue that point. Madeline did terrible things, but she was still his mother- she was still his sisters’ mother. Nikita might’ve cut ties with her, but Jill and Sandy hadn’t. They deserved to continue living their happy lie for a little while longer. At least until Nikita could come home.

“What?”

Alex stared at Sean blankly. She was fairly certain that was the most confused she had ever been. The secrets she had discovered about her family so far had eventually made sense. Besides, those were all easily fixed by destroying the man who had destroyed her life. But the Pierces baffled her. Nikita couldn’t have been in Division if her mother was Oversight. And Sean seemed to be way too morally upstanding to have been raised by such a corrupt woman. The explanation he gave her didn’t help. She just stared as he spoke, “How do you think Nikita got recruited, and I agreed to this assignment?”

“What the fuck!”

“You didn’t know?” Sean wasn’t sure why he asked that. Of course Alex didn’t know. He and his sister didn’t know until a couple of months prior. However, he suspected she knew about Nikita’s recruitment. She must’ve said something to her partner about how she was dragged into that hellhole. Apparently, he was wrong. 

“Nikita doesn’t talk about her past. Of course I didn’t fucking know!” Alex didn’t even know Nikita had a brother. She was rapidly understanding why all of that was kept a secret. She wouldn’t want to talk about it if she was in that position. Hell, she barely wanted to talk about her own past in her current situation. All of those truths being revealed were beyond insane. They had wanted answers, but was it worth all that mess. Some days it was. But days like that one, with Yuri and Ryan, that wasn’t the case.

“Guess everyone has family drama,” Scoffing, Sean rubbed at his tired hazel eyes. He felt as though he didn’t have the right to complain. Alex was suffering with her own mess; she didn’t need him piling on his. It was simply refreshing to talk to someone else about all of that shit- someone who understood and would actually talk back. 

However, Alex shook her head. She was struggling, thinking about who Sean and Nikita’s mother was. Oversight sanctioned the hit on her family. They sanctioned the hit on Michael that inadvertently killed his family. And they agreed to place Nikita, the daughter of one of their own, in that hellhole. Alex didn’t know if that was planned or not- if Nikita was meant as some sort of Oversight soldier like Sean was. Based on the few stories she had shared, she doubted it. Somehow, she was abused by the same system. But she was fighting back. That was all any of them could’ve done. Just not then, when they were exhausted and frayed, “I can’t even figure out my own mess. I’m not starting with yours.”

“I don’t wanna start either,” Sean agreed. He and Alex sat in silence for a little while. They took a moment to breathe and think. Neither wanted to think too much, just enough to process the last few days. Ryan and Yuri were dead. Gogol was after Alex. Oversight was cracking down on Nikita. Sean was fighting with his sister again. And the end wasn’t in sight. At least they could still joke. Or Sean could try to lighten the tension, “I mean. I have to be my sister’s mole, because you ran off.”

“Good. Teaches you a lesson. Don’t fuck with this team,” Lightly, Alex chuckled. Sean deserved to have the stress that came along with being a mole. It served him right for snapping at her when they first met, and for abandoning Nikita for so long. The Seal paid more attention to her word choice, than her teasing though; she had said ‘this team’. She could only shrug. She wasn’t really with the team. But she also wasn’t against them, “Once you’re a part of Nikita’s family, you can never leave.”

“Still not sure if that’s a good thing,” Although Sean’s joke earned him a pillow to the face, he and Alex were laughing. Things were a mess; they were going to be so for a while. And things were painful; who knew when that was going to end. But they could talk, and they could laugh. For the moment, that was enough.


	17. Chapter 16

Nikita was having an anxiety attack. She woke from a nightmare, spiraling right into absolute terror. Her breath was labored, her heart was racing, her lithe body was shaking, and tears stung in her brown eyes. She was aware of the attack, however, there wasn’t anything she could’ve done about it. The panic had her in an ironclad grip. She just clutched at her comforter and tried not to sob. Thoughts were bombarding her, nearly choking her mind. When had it all become too much. The war was always hard and trying; it always frayed her senses. But then, it felt like it was going to kill her. She wasn’t going to survive the onslaught.

Ryan was dead. Michael was gone. And Birkhoff was tortured. It was all her fault. She involved Ryan in her crusade, putting a target on his back that got him killed. She made a decision for Michael, one he didn’t fight her on; he swore he could have both the war and his son, but she made him choose Max. And she had Birkhoff go on that rushed intel op, which led to him being captured and tortured by Amanda. Their team’s pain was all her fault. She was the reason they were all suffering. 

However, Nikita wasn’t going to talk about it. Birkhoff needed to heal; she had to support him, not the other way around. She was able to save him from Amanda’s clutches. It caused them to lose a black box, yet no one cared about that. As long as the nerd was safe, they’d do anything. She was fortunate to have her brother help her save him. He had to put up an act in front of Amanda about siding with their mother over her, but he helped Nikita destroy the black box. If they couldn’t have it, there was no way their enemies could. Sean had been great lately. He even looked out for Alex while his sister couldn’t. He was helping them all move forward.

Not at that moment, however. A sob ripped through Nikita, and she clutched her blankets tighter. She couldn’t breathe. Yet her mind wasn’t focused on that. She was thinking about the empty side of the bed; she was thinking about Michael. He should’ve been there. He should’ve helped her steal those bearer bonds that forced the Oversight meeting (which Sean got them the location for). He should’ve helped her save Birkhoff in person rather than over the phone. And he should’ve been in bed with her. She needed his strength to fight the panic. She needed his warmth to stop her shaking. She just needed her partner. 

Why wasn’t he there. Why did she let him go, and why did he stay. Why weren’t they talking. They had secured phones they could call each other on. They could actually communicate. Either both were too stubborn to make first contact, or both were too hurt. Nikita desperately wanted to talk to him. She missed him so damn much. But she made no move to reach for her cell. She sat in the middle of the mattress, attempting to battle her anxiety attack. She was losing drastically. There was no way she could’ve done it on her own.

Her thoughts were demons. They consumed her whole, leaving her bare to the cruel world around her. She thought of Ryan dying in the hospital bed, of Michael staring at her from the sidewalk, and of Birkhoff’s mangled hand. Those images tormented her. They merged into one horrific event that had jarred her awake. But the worst of them all hadn’t been in her nightmare. Instead, it ate at her constantly, clawing at her heart like a feral beast. She had seen Madeline Pierce, after the intel op went to shit. The Oversight members were scattering, and Nikita needed to bolt before Division arrived. She ran into Sean and Madeline on the way to the exit. She saw her. And the expression that crossed the senator’s face tore at the rogue.

Madeline appeared shocked. She hadn’t expected to see Nikita. She froze in place and stared at her adopted daughter. Then her expression shifted. It morphed into something heartbroken, yet joyous. She looked relieved to see her daughter. She looked like she could smile easily, despite the pain from the last ten years. Madeline almost stepped towards Nikita to wrap her in an embrace. And that was what drove the rogue insane. Her adopted mother still loved her; it was glaringly obvious. She’d scream if she had any control of her breathing.

How could Madeline want to kill her and hug her at the same time. How could she hand her over to Percy and claim it was out of protection. And how could Nikita still love her back, despite everything. When she saw her adopted mother, she nearly burst into an excited grin. She felt like she was home. But it was a lie, an illusion. She had to sprint away from her, from Division, from it all. Home was within reach, but she couldn’t have it. She lost her team and her family. She was suffering alone. Awake in the dead of night, she was fighting to survive an anxiety attack. And no one was there to provide support.

When the attack finally ceased, Nikita decided she had to get out of there. She had to keep running from Oversight; she had to keep running from her adopted mother. So, she was going to check on Owen and his black box and Guardian hunt. They needed a new box to stay ahead of their enemies. They couldn’t lose their lead in that fucking war. She made the decision on her own without the advice of anybody. She simply told Birkhoff and Sean before she jetted off to Owen’s last known location (she also pestered the nerd to take his meds, and she pestered her brother to look after him). She didn’t inform Michael of her plans at all. They hadn’t talked since she saved Birkhoff. Neither knew when they were going to talk again.

Keeping all of those thoughts to herself nearly killed Nikita. They clawed and ate at her throat, waiting to be screamed at the top of her lungs. Eventually, they all spilled out on a quiet sob. Owen asked how she was doing, and she crumbled. Even after an initial brush off, she still gave in to the crushing weight. She was just so tired. It had been ten years of fighting, and she was getting nowhere closer to home. Not with Ryan dead, Michael gone and maybe not coming back, Birkhoff physically and mentally tortured, Alex lost to her crusade, and Sean still believing she could go home to their mom. She just wanted it all to stop. She couldn’t handle any more heartache.

Possibly thanks to all the times she had comforted him, Owen was able to lift Nikita’s spirits. She was a hero. She was using her pain to ensure no one else felt the same. When she finally made it home, she was going to have the happily ever after she had gifted to everybody else. It took Nikita some time to believe that. She honestly didn’t think she was deserving of the praise. Her team’s suffering was her fault, and she had done so many cruel things to others. How was she even remotely a hero. She couldn’t save those she loved most, so how could she save the world.

Michael did come back, though. That was a shining spot on a dark day. Ari might have made off with a black box (seriously Owen, getting involved with Gogol), but her partner returned to her. He’d always return to her. However, then wasn’t the time for the two to finally talk. There were Guardians on the loose, and a black box to secure. Nikita should’ve had Michael join her. She wanted her partner to have her back out there. But she wasn’t ready to talk. She wanted to process more, before delving into the feelings she had locked away. She didn’t need to break down into tears again. It was time to keep pressing forward.

Yet as she trekked through the woods towards Ari’s last known location, her mind kept wandering. Nikita recognized those Russian woods. She had definitely snuck through them before, especially near that looming estate. Of course Gogol and Zetrov were working together, and of course it would be out of the former Udinov estate. When she returned to the beach house, she’d find a way to inform Alex about it. Chances were she already knew, but she wanted the young woman to be prepared for what she was stepping into on her path of revenge. God knew she would’ve loved some hints of what she had experienced.

Her adopted mother was definitely one of those things. Madeline’s expression continued to haunt Nikita. Everytime she thought of it, she nearly screamed. It wasn’t fair. She had been tossed aside and hidden away. She had been ruthlessly abused by the organization her adopted mother had created. And at that moment she was being hunted by them, a kill order hanging over her head. However, Madeline still cared for her; she still loved her adopted daughter. Nikita’s stupid heart felt the same, and it tore her up inside. She shouldn’t have cared so much after everything her adopted mother had put her through. But Sean’s asinine words repeated in her head: ‘she was trying to protect you’.

Nikita would’ve been lying if she said she hadn’t thought of that excuse before, that Madeline was doing her best to protect her from Division’s witness cleaning tactics. Those thoughts ran through her mind after Operation Pale Fire, and after she told Alex about the mission. She had killed Nikolai Udinov to save Alexandra. She got her out of fire and into what she thought was safety, by shooting her father. She didn’t like to consider those parallels. It was different circumstances. She didn’t give Alex away to evil men, and she wasn’t attempting to destroy her. She also wasn’t the one to rip her away from her family. That was all Division and Oversight.

Shaking away her thoughts and feelings, Nikita focused on entering the house. Her best bet was the basement. She’d cut the power and grab the black box in the confusion. It wasn’t her smartest action plan, yet it was the only one she had. She had been able to operate off of improvisation before; she’d be fine. In her attempt to not let her thoughts continue to down her, though, she almost missed the other person in the basement. Guns were drawn and aimed at one another in an instant, but a shot didn’t ring out. 

The rogue found herself relaxing a little at the sight of the young woman. Slowly, she approached Alex. Relaxing as well, she let Nikita near her. Both were confused at the other’s appearance, yet that didn’t stop either of them from pressing on. The women weren’t as alone as they had thought. They had someone to fight with them in Gogol territory. There was so much that needed to be worked out, except that could be dealt with in time. For the moment, Nikita had Alex and Alex had Nikita. They could see some sort of light at the end of their tunnels. It wasn’t all lost.


	18. Chapter 17

“What are you doing here?” Although she was relieved to see her old partner, Alex was frantic. Her mother was alive. Somehow, she had survived the attack on her family just as she had. The young woman didn’t want to think too much about that, however. It was too complicated and hurtful. She’d focus on getting her mother out of that damn house, instead. She saw how she interacted with Semak. She was pumped full of pills, making her confused and distant. That wasn’t her mother; she was forced to be someone else. Alex had to save her.

Nikita breaking into the estate, however, made things far more complex. The rogue had a mission she was attempting to accomplish. It was possible she was going to ruin the young woman’s new plans. Alex couldn’t have that. She wouldn’t let Nikita put her mother in even more danger than she already faced; she’d fight her if she had to. Even if the operation was important, “Ari has a black box. Don’t worry. I won’t interfere with your kill mission.”

“I can’t kill Semak. Not tonight. I have to get my mom out,” Alex knew she sounded whiny. She knew she was upset and desperate. But her world just turned upside down for what felt like the millionth time. More and more lies were being uncovered, and she was struggling to keep up with them all. It felt as though she couldn’t breathe. Saving her mother from Semak’s bastardly clutches just might make her feel better. She could be whole again- she could be home. All she had wanted was to not be sad anymore. Maybe that was her way to finally make that a reality. 

“What?”

Needing a moment to adjust, Nikita simply stared at Alex. A part of her was so glad the rogue was perplexed. It meant she didn’t know; she hadn’t kept that a secret from her. It had also become the rogue’s turn to be confused about the other’s family drama. God, they really were a mess. The women could discuss it all later. They couldn’t get sidetracked right then, especially with Gogol agents patrolling the area. Alex had to get Nikita to understand quickly, “She’s alive. She’s upstairs right now, being pumped full of drugs by Semak.”

“Fuck the black box then. Let’s save your mom,” Instantly, Nikita decided. There was an innocent woman trapped in that house, of course she would rescue her. And of course she would help Alex save her mother from Semak. The young woman deserved to have her mother after everything she had been through and everything she fought for. She deserved to be with her family. Although how Katya was alive was absolutely bewildering, Nikita would put aside her mission for her. She’d do anything to ensure Alex’s happiness and safety. 

Alex was shocked. She hadn’t expected Nikita to give up her mission so readily and so completely. She only wanted her to let her get her mother out of the house before she tried anything. But since she was offering assistance, Alex was more than willing to accept it. Having a partner would make things go a lot smoother. She’d have someone watching her back and ensuring their schemes ran as perfectly as possible. Letting Nikita in was already proving to be beneficial when it came to taking out a guard. Things had the potential to be great, despite what the young woman’s anxiety said, “Are you sure?”

“Gogol can’t crack it anyway. Besides, your mom is far more important,” Nikita was putting a lot of faith in Birkhoff’s encryption on the black box. But out of all the hackers in the world, she’d have her money on the nerd. Alex beamed at her, blue eyes sparkling. She was finally going to get what she wanted. They were going to save her mom. The two planned effortlessly. They built off of one another, and created something solid. Although it was spur of the moment and a bit rushed, the women had a battle plan worthy to be put into action. Once Gogol’s vehicles were sabotaged and Katya was safely removed from her room, they’d be in the clear. Alex could be with her mother.

If only the world worked according to their plans. Neither Nikita nor Alex expected Katya to turn her daughter in to Semak and Ari. She handed her over to her enemies in some kind of vain attempt to help her. Because obviously if she was going after Semak, there had to have been something wrong with her. Fortunately, Nikita was able to get to Alex in time. She saved her before she could be taken to parts unknown. The young woman was injured, however. She couldn’t go back for her mom. Despite what had happened, she was still going to rescue her. She had to. She had to believe there was a chance the mother she had known was still there. Hope couldn’t have been lost.

Understanding, Nikita went back to the Udinov estate. One of them was going to have their mother in their lives. The rogue couldn’t have her mom, but she’d make absolutely certain Alex would never feel abandoned by hers. That wasn’t a fate she’d wish on anybody. Crashing into the bedroom holding a cellphone with Alex on the line, Nikita tried to reach Katya. Everything would be alright. She would be safe, “Katya, it’s okay. I’m with your daughter. I’m with Alex. We’re gonna get you out of here.”

“I can’t leave,” Shaking her head, Katya negated. She went on a rant about how Alex was sick and they had to help her instead. When Nikita attempted to argue against that, the cellphone was knocked out of her hand. Alex wasn’t able to reason with her mother once the phone was across the room. Yet Nikita saw that as a good thing. If Katya really believed Semak’s lies about her daughter being brainwashed, then she needed to listen to someone not involved in that mess. Maybe it would help her finally see the truth. 

"Semak’s the one who ordered the hit on your family. He wanted to kill your husband and daughter,” Alex could still hear Nikita talking to her mother. She wanted to shout something, make herself heard. But she was terrified. She had to keep reminding herself that her mother was being drugged. Katya didn’t know what she was doing; she didn’t know what turning her daughter over to Semak had done. Fighting back tears, Alex put her faith in a positive outcome. 

Her mother wouldn’t accept what Nikita was informing her, though. She argued against the rogue, not willing to escape. To Alex, it was becoming terrifyingly clear that her mother wasn’t a prisoner. She was allowing Semak to keep her hidden away and keep her numb with drugs. She had let the lies and manipulation consume her, giving up on ever fighting back. Alex really had lost her mother, “You’re lying.”

“I was there. We had access codes, we had security plans. Semak held the backdoor open as we killed Nikolai. Just so he could have Zetrov and you,” Nikita just kept arguing. Although Alex was losing all hope, her partner was as determined as ever to get Katya to realize the truth. The rogue was beginning to see who the young woman inherited her stubbornness from. It was as though she was yelling at a brick wall. Why wouldn’t she accept the fact that her daughter was in danger. Why was she sticking by Semak’s side. Shouldn’t she have chosen Alex.

“He already had me,” Oh. That was why. Alex couldn’t bear to listen to the conversation anymore. She clutched the cellphone tightly, fierce tears streaming down her reddened cheeks. She knew her family wasn’t perfect. The Udinovs weren’t the picture perfect family. Yet there was love in her home. Or at least Alex had thought. The one thing she had held onto all those years, the one truth she thought she knew, shattered at her feet. Her mother didn’t love her father. And she didn’t love her. Whereas Alex’s heart broke, Nikita’s voice pitched in pure rage.

“And you’re gonna stay with him! He killed Nikolai! He wants to kill Alex! You’re going to remain blindly devoted to the man willing to hurt your daughter? You’re going to sacrifice the person you’re supposed to love more than anything in the world to a corrupt egotistical bastard?” She was definitely projecting. She was aware that her words had shifted in direction. Nikita wasn’t yelling at Katya. Nikita was trying to scream at Madeline. But she wasn’t around to listen to her. Katya wasn’t listening either, causing acidity to boil through the rogue. Without another word, she grabbed the woman and dragged her towards the door. 

Katya screeched for help the second she was shoved into the hallway. Guards rushed the floor, shooting immediately at Nikita. She was able to fire back, yet she couldn’t grab onto Katya; she ran back to the room and locked the door. Her mission was bust. She couldn’t save Alex’s mother that night. It would be easy to blame Gogol and Semak for that. But it was all Katya- she didn’t want to be saved. 

Fortunately, Alex came to help Nikita escape. When she had heard the gunshots, she hurried to the rogue’s aid. The young woman had to force down her distraught feelings to be able to help with the escape. Her mother chose to stay with Semak. She’d rather be with that bastard, than ensure her daughter’s safety. At least she had Nikita watching her back. The two women managed to hop into a car and shoot their way out of there. It was a while before either of them could settle. And it was even longer before they could talk. There was no way they could process all of the shit that went down, especially since it happened in just a few short hours. But Nikita thought she and Alex could try, together, “Are you okay?”

“It’s nothing,” Glancing at the makeshift bandage on her wrist, Alex was only willing to think about her injury. It had stung when she first sustained it, but she felt nothing then. She was certain the cut would heal fine. As for everything else, she bit back the fresh tears. She thought she was home. When her mom had hugged her, it felt as though she was home for the first time in years. She had fought tooth and nail to get there. She accepted help from Percy and Amanda, took advice from Sean, and revisited her days as a human trafficking victim to get to that moment, yet she was nowhere near home. It was all an illusion. Alex was still running.

Nikita spared a glance at the young woman. Her attention was trained on her bandage, not attempting to break away. The rogue couldn’t fault her. As her brown eyes refocused on the road ahead, she wrestled with her own thoughts and feelings. That mission hadn’t resolved anything; her previous crushing emotions had only been added to. She should probably talk. Alex should too. Where was there to even start, though, she had no idea, “I meant…”

“No,” Whether she meant ‘no, I’m not alright’ or ‘no, I don’t want to talk’, was a mystery to both women. However, her ‘no’ was stern enough to stop the conversation. Alex let out a shaky breath. She had to get control. Nikita didn’t deserve the outburst. It wasn’t her fault; she had tried everything to get Katya to come with them. Her mind betrayed her by replaying that conversation. Her mother was adamant about staying with Semak- a decision that Alex didn’t think she would ever get over. Despite that, Nikita kept fighting. She argued until her voice grew hoarse. The young woman had an idea about what made the rogue fight so hard. It wasn’t just for her. She was battling her own demons as well, “Did your mom…”

“I wonder what kind of music Russian mobsters listen to,” Flicking on the radio, Nikita immediately cut off that topic. She should’ve talked. But just like Alex, she couldn’t. Driving a stolen Gogol car wasn’t the time to air everything out. Being exhausted from the past couple of days wasn’t going to help either. It was easier to simply ignore it all. The thoughts and feelings were going to crash into her in another violent wave. Yet, honestly, she didn’t care. 

“Probably shit,” Alex didn’t either. It wasn’t healthy to bottle all of that inside. However, in their defense, what they were dealing with wasn’t normal. There were no coping mechanisms they could’ve possibly employed other than ignoring it. Their mothers abandoned them to dangerous men. And those men wanted them dead, despite their mothers’ protests that their actions were to protect them. At least they weren’t alone in that inane war. When Nikita found a non-shitty radio station to settle on, Alex took hold of her hand. The women didn’t glance at one another, knowing tears would fall and emotions would rage. Yet they held tightly to their friend, determined not to let go again.


	19. Chapter 18

_ Eleven Years Earlier _

Nikita wasn’t supposed to be there so early; students weren’t allowed in the school until much later. Yet she knew the locker room was constantly unlocked. And from there, she could enter her highschool and roam the halls. She had a specific destination that morning, however. Storming into Ms. Bennet’s classroom, she dropped her backpack on the ground and chucked her soccer ball at the wall. When it came back to her, she kicked it over and over and over again. None of her frustrations disappeared.

“You can’t beat the wall when it can’t fight back,” Ms. Bennet was quick to stop the soccer abuse. She scooped up the ball on one of the rebounds, and moved to settle Nikita. The teenager fought the angry tears in her brown eyes. She didn’t need to cry in front of her teacher. She just needed a place to run to after getting into it with her mom again. Ms. Bennet knew, as she always did, smiling softly, “If you broke into school, it must be important.”

She meant to tease, but her student wasn’t having it. Nikita rolled her eyes and attempted to stomp right back out of the room. Ms. Bennet gently pulled her back. She wasn’t going to allow her to walk away without talking. The teen struggled to remain silent. However, the words forced themselves to be expressed as they poured out of her, “I just want to know where I come from. My parents don’t understand what it’s like to be adopted. And it’s obvious I’m adopted. I just wanna know about my birth parents, but they won’t let me.”

Although she was a little repetitive and she kept fidgeting with her dark hair, it was the best way Nikita could express her point. She had to know about her birth family. Wandering around without knowing her roots was difficult. There were so many unanswered questions: who was she, where was she from, why was she given up. Of course her parents didn’t understand why she was so desperate to uncover those truths. Sometimes, it felt as though she was all alone in that big house. At least she had others to turn to, like Ms. Bennet, “I don’t know what it’s like to be adopted either. But I do know you don’t find who you are in your past. It’s all about what you do in the present. And what you do is amazing. Your parents don’t define you. It’s all you.”

Ms. Bennet stilled Nikita. Comforting her students came naturally to the teacher. She genuinely cared for the teens. She listened to them and helped them through their problems as best as she could. Nikita wasn’t willing to take the advice so readily, though. She continued to be upset by the argument with her parents. Ms. Bennet was well aware of how lasting and damaging those effects could be. Highschoolers carried around the weight of their family as though it was the only thing they could do. Which was why she reminded her class of all the remarkable things they could do as often as possible, “What do I say about wildflowers?”

“They grow no matter the adversity,” Nikita mumbled. As always, she was grateful for Ms. Bennet’s help. She could be reminded that despite everything, she was going to be alright; she was a force to be reckoned with. However, she simply didn’t know what to do with the rest of her anger. She had had that argument with her mom before- she had had many arguments with her mom. It was bound to happen again, and was bound to have the same results. Yet stopping to think about wildflowers for a moment started to change her mind. It couldn’t have been all bad. The world wasn’t, after all. A small grin pulled at Nikita’s lips. Ms. Bennet beamed at her.

“Now go. But leave the ball. You have to be punished somehow for breaking in,” Nudging her student out the door, Ms. Bennet smirked. Nikita rolled her eyes once more, but that time with a smile on her face. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and went to sit in her car before school started. Blasting music, taking the time to breathe, and picturing wildflowers helped calm her enough to enjoy the rest of her day. Especially when she got her soccer ball back. Ms. Bennet had drawn wildflowers growing out of the seams. The teenager thought about erasing the doodles for a moment. However, she decided to trace the pencil marks in different colored Sharpies, making them permanent. 

_ One Year Later _

Michael didn’t have a destination in mind. He was simply roaming the halls, attempting to get that briefing out of his mind. He hated when the recruits were threatened. Division was the one taking them from what they had known and forcing them to perform or else. There had to be a better way of doing things. But Percy had his reasons. Unfortunately, those reasons were focused on Nikita at the moment. She was certainly a firecracker, taunting and attacking her fellow recruits and her instructors. Amanda had called her into her office that morning to talk to her. But it went nowhere. She nearly killed her instructor later that day. Her actions were going to get her canceled, unless Michael could talk some sense into her. He had made that bargaining deal. They weren’t going to kill recruits, not if he had any say in the matter.

He just had no idea what to say to Nikita. She didn’t listen, and she didn’t follow the rules. There was no getting through to her. Michael’s wandering eventually led him to the training room where a punching bag was being beaten to a pulp. No one should’ve been up that late. Even if they were, they weren’t supposed to be out of their rooms. Approaching the equipment, he spotted the young recruit on his mind. Of course it was her, looking like she had been there for hours. But what surprised him, was that she also looked like she had been crying. When he tried to near her, she turned on him ready to pounce. He held up placating hands, “You’re gonna kick me in the balls like you did your instructor?”

A glint of mischief in her brown eyes, Nikita moved to do just that. Yet as Michael prepared to block the kick, she instantly turned around. She marched off as though nothing had happened, and he couldn’t stop himself from chuckling quietly. She definitely wasn’t like the other recruits. For starters, she was far more athletic than the junkies they dragged in. Although he hadn’t read her file (for some reason, it was for Percy’s and Amanda’s eyes only), he could tell she was a well rounded athlete. Her breathing and muscle control was on par with extraordinary swimmers and yogis. And her quick feet could put any other soccer player to shame. She could be an amazing agent. He just needed to help her see that, “Fine. Quit. Though that doesn’t seem like a halfback to me.”

Nikita stopped in the doorway. She turned around slowly, studying Michael over. She didn’t trust him- she didn’t trust anyone. But she let him draw her back. The handler smiled warmly while he approached her again. There was a reason he liked to read his recruits’ files. It allowed him to know them and connect with them. He was reaching in the dark with her, however. Everytime he thought he knew something, she surprised him. Yet he had her soccer position down. And the fact that he did made her finally say something other than an insult, “Attacking midfield.”

“Defensive midfield,” He shared his own position in an attempt to keep the conversation open. Nikita just stared at her handler. She continued to study him, unsure of his intentions. Michael softened his gaze. Most of the recruits were young- street kids pulled out of prison. Except she appeared even younger. She had to have just turned eighteen when Division took her in. That could have been the reason she was acting so fiercely. She was a teenager forced to do things she didn’t want to do. Whatever way he was thinking of talking to her had to be changed. She wasn’t a normal recruit.

“So, you’re gonna use sports metaphors to get through to me?” Fortunately, she gave him something he could use. Nikita sternly crossed her arms, blocking herself. Michael smirked. It seemed that she could read him as much as he could read her. She had called him out after she had attacked her instructor, after all. She knew what her actions were causing. She knew what fate was awaiting her. And she knew it was Michael who was determined to get her to see that as a bad thing. He just hoped he could. 

“Stop being so aggressive with the other players and they won’t redcard you,” Michael went for teasing. Berating wasn’t going to get him anywhere with her. Maybe if Nikita knew she had someone willing to care for her inside Division, she wouldn’t be so hellbent to destroy everything. However, his comment only earned him a scoff and an eye roll. She wasn’t having it. Nothing was going to get past her stubbornness. 

She really was determined to get herself canceled. Michael could see it in her unwavering gaze. Nikita didn’t want to be there. She was doing everything she could to prove that she didn’t want to be there. If Division was as smart and advanced as they claimed, they’d take her out like she wanted. All she was doing was giving them hell. It’d be easier to get rid of her. Michael was the one who resisted. He wasn’t going to let anyone die. Although she gave him the opportunity to argue his point, she did so condescending, “Give me one good reason to stay in, Coach.”

“At least tell me why you want to die,” Michael shot back instead. He had no reason for her. He wanted to, yet he didn’t know Nikita. The only reason he had decided to keep living after he lost his family was revenge. He wasn’t sure if that would work for her. If the two could actually talk, sit down and be open with one another, maybe they’d be able to understand each other’s argument. Instead, the two were fighting about life and death like it was meaningless. 

“Everyone I love either wants me dead, thinks I’m dead, or is dead,” Fresh tears pooled in Nikita’s eyes. Her first two statements seemed to not affect her; she had processed it and pushed it aside. But the last thing she said gutted her. She was still reeling from that fact, almost as though she had just learned it. Michael’s heart couldn’t handle it. He tried not to let his emotions overrun him when dealing with the recruits. Except, how many times was he going to have to admit that she was different- she was special. He moved to comfort her, yet she pushed him away. Ferocity overcame her grief, “Why do you even care what I do? Just go get a gun and shoot me already!”

The words had impact. Nikita meant every single thing she had said. Yet Michael wasn’t going to give in to her demands. She was too young to want death too much. And he was too protective and stubborn to let her throw away her life. He had seen her fight back against fellow recruits and instructors. She could fight that as well. He had no doubt she was strong enough, “I lost everyone I love too. But I found my reason to keep going. I just want others to know there’s always a reason.”

After a long moment of silence, Nikita left. Michael hoped he had actually gotten through to her. He also hoped she wouldn’t be berated by those thoughts for long. However, he couldn’t say much about that. He was the same mess when his family died. He had found some way through it, though. Somewhat. He wouldn’t wish that feeling of hopelessness on anybody. The next morning, he was relieved to spot Nikita willingly following an order. She was still full of sarcastic wit, but she wasn’t tearing anyone to shreds. Michael couldn’t stop his grin. 

_ Present _

Nikita descended the stairs, her attention trained on Alex. She hadn’t moved from the couch since they had arrived at the beach house. The young woman simply stared at the waves crashing to the shore, lost in thought. The rogue couldn’t blame her. What had happened in Russia would’ve destroyed the best of them. Being abandoned by your mother to a dangerous man wasn’t something anyone could brush off. Luckily for Alex, Nikita knew exactly what she was going through. She could help her see a reason to continue fighting, and how amazing she was despite her family. She wasn’t going to suffer alone. 


	20. Chapter 19

“If you’re gonna get high again, go somewhere else,” Nikita approached Alex on the couch, sternly crossing her arms. She knew the young woman was struggling to come to grips with everything that had happened in Russia, but she wasn’t going to let her fall back into terrible habits to cope with it all. Was it hypocritical considering she had gotten drunk the second she had reunited with her brother, probably. Yet Alex was supposed to be better than her. She had survived more. She had come out stronger than anyone on their team. Drugs couldn’t bring her back to the terrible places she had fought so hard to escape.

“Those were some of the drugs my mom was taking to numb the pain,” Alex mumbled an explanation. She wasn’t trying to steal Birkhoff’s pain medication. Despite feeling like shit, she wasn’t going to relapse. Nikita nodded in understanding and moved to sit next to her on the sofa. The two had been somewhat talking since arriving at the beach house. Alex was mostly in a terrible attitude, while Nikita attempted to cheer her up. She felt guilty about that; the others had their own issues to deal with, she shouldn’t be taking all of the attention. 

But, God, it was so hard to move forward. She had never really learned how to cope with anything. She had been so hellbent on revenge that she hadn’t thought about processing her complex emotions. It was about time for her to start doing so. Out of everything she had experienced in her short life, Alex wasn’t sure where to begin. She found herself looking to Nikita for some kind of answer. The rogue seemed so on top of things. She was unflappable and immovable. Yet her voice was almost a whisper as she tried to comfort her friend, “I think she’s just confused.”

“She didn’t want me. I mean, why would she?” Alex didn’t mean to blurt out her thoughts so strongly. They erupted out of her at the first opportunity to argue against any defense made for her mother. It didn’t help that she believed it. She was a broken woman, never able to accomplish all of the great things her father had laid out for her. She couldn’t even enact revenge for her family. It was all falling down around her, and she was moping on a couch in a safehouse that wasn’t even hers. How could anyone want to fight for her- a junkie who was no more than street trash.

Fortunately, Alex had someone like Nikita in her life. The rogue’s brown eyes were fierce as they bore into her blue. She wasn’t going to allow the young woman to think less of herself because of her mother. She had been in that position before, and she’d never wish it on anybody else. Alex deserved more than the pain of her family. They all deserved to not be dragged underwater by those they had loved. If their family really loved them, they would’ve supported them, “Hey. You’re awesome. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.”

Alex flashed a small smile. Nikita returned the grin, pulling her into a strong embrace. The two women stayed like that for a while. Wrapped in her friend’s arms, Alex felt she could breathe a little easier. Tears still sprang to her eyes, and terrible thoughts still invaded her mind. But at least she could somewhat breathe and relax. She wasn’t just thinking about her mother and her inexplicable actions, however. Thoughts of her father and Semak wouldn’t leave her alone. Did her dad know about the affair. How long had it lasted. Her voice was nearly mute as she contemplated that question, “Do you think I’m Nikolai’s daughter? Or was the affair so long, I’m actually Semak’s?” 

“I’m my adopted father’s bastard,” Shrugging, Nikita pulled away from Alex. Although the young woman was confused, the rogue saw excitement in her eyes; it was about time she opened up about her family. After everything, it was only fair to reveal her own share of drama. Alex sat patiently throughout the whole story. From adoption to cover up an adulterous scandal, to Division recruitment to be ‘saved’ after witnessing an assassination, she let Nikita get through everything without interruption. The rogue appreciated it more than the young woman realized. She was always terrible about discussing her past. The only person she told everything to was Michael; everyone else just knew snippets. It felt peaceful to let another person in- it felt right. 

“What a pair, huh,” Alex sighed. Nikita couldn’t stop herself from chuckling. They really were a mess at the moment. Amidst the drama with Division and Oversight, Ari having a black box, people trying to kill them, and whatever the hell was going on in their relationships, their family was the thing drowning them the most. It wasn’t exactly laugh worthy. But Nikita was so strung out and exhausted over the whole thing, she couldn’t form any other response. Alex barely chuckled with her. She hadn’t learned how to push away her thoughts and feelings like she had. Everything was still too much. And everything still hurt. 

Nikita stifled her laughter to focus on Alex. Of course she hadn’t expected the young woman to process what her mother had done and move forward all at once. That took so much time and effort. Yet she had to know that she wasn’t alone; she was far from it. She could talk and heal with the friends she had built around her, “I had this teacher back in highschool that I grew really close to. When things got too much at home, she always listened to me rant. She used to say her class was a safe place. This is a safe place.”

Maybe Nikita should take her own advice. She used to talk with Michael, but he was gone. She shared some things with Birkhoff, but she wasn’t sure if he completely understood. And Sean, well she didn’t know if she could tell him everything just yet; there were simply some things she never wanted her brother to know. But after her outburst with Owen, she needed to talk- just like Alex. Taking in a steadying breath, she began to tell her how shocked she was when she had learned the true story of her adoption. She also explained the hurt she felt after Madeline offered her up to Percy. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be over those things. Sure, she had moved on. But she didn’t think she would ever forgive anyone. She also didn’t think she could go back home.

It took Alex a moment, but she began to open up as well. She believed that if she hadn’t grown up with so much love in her home, it would’ve been easier. Having her heart broken and her trust betrayed by her own mother probably fucked her up more than the drugs. Nikita could definitely relate. The things she had been forced to do for Division was nothing compared to the fact that she was only there because of her adopted mother. The fact that so much pain came from their mothers, after they had told them how much they loved them, was life shattering. The women held hands fiercely. Nikita and Alex could draw from one another’s strength. They’d support each other as they crumbled.

The two ended up talking for hours. Both never gave any credence to the ‘talking helps’ advice. Yet in that moment, it was the only thing that saw them through their dark thoughts. Eventually, the outside world called them and they had to put their conversation on hold. Alex was starving, so she moved to tease Birkhoff for his food choices. Nikita, on the other hand, was staring at a text from Michael. He was going to be at the beach house soon. They had to talk. Maybe her long conversation with Alex would lend its strength to hers and Michael’s talk. That was a whole different set of emotions to sort through, however. 

Michael and Nikita were at least provided some privacy to hash things out. Alex and Birkhoff left them alone, each coming up with their own excuse to run off. The nerd definitely knew more about what was happening than the young woman, yet she was aware enough to know that the couple needed their space. Besides, she didn’t mind actually going out for food; the fridge and pantry were abysmal. As she walked along the beach to find something close by, she ran into Sean (who just so happened to have grocery bags in hand). Why either of them were surprised to see one another was a mystery. They managed to laugh off their daze, and slight blushes. Stumbling a little, she took a bag from him and tried to save him from even more awkwardness, “I wouldn’t go in there just yet. Michael and Nikita are having a moment.”

“About time,” Sean breathed another chuckle. Alex just shrugged. Nikita had only informed her of the recent updates from the team. She hadn’t gone into depth, or relayed anything about what had been going on. Sean sighed and rolled his hazel eyes. He had expected as much from his sister. Indicating that they took a walk before returning to the safehouse, he explained what Alex had missed. He didn’t know a lot of the details regarding Max and London, but it was enough to satisfy her curiosity. He was curious about what she was doing with everybody else, though. He knew of the Guardian and black box chase. But that was occurring in Western Europe. How did she factor in, “How was Russia?”

“Your family drama is nothing compared to mine,” Alex told Sean her own tale of events. They had talked on the phone before she arrived in Moscow. The last thing the Seal was aware of was the separate missions. She explained how they converged with Ari and the black box. He took that information with stride. Her mother and Semak, however, he seemed to short circuit as he thought about it. She didn’t blame him. Yet she was done dwelling over the shitshow that was her family. It was time to hold her head high. Nudging him slightly, she led the way back to the house. She was still starving, and they had to put the groceries away. Hopefully, Michael and Nikita talked it all out while they were gone. They needed to all move forward. 

When Sean and Alex crashed back into the beach house, Nikita and Michael stepped away from one another. Whatever moment they were having, was instantly ruined. Alex kind of wanted to ask about it. Were they yelling, making out, something in between. Except it wasn’t really her place. Michael was also taking the groceries from her to help Sean put them away, and Nikita was busying herself with one of Birkhoff’s computers. They’d share eventually. Or not at all, and the rest of the team would have to guess based off of how they interacted. That was how it normally went for the couple. In the meantime, Sean attempted to lighten the tension by making fun of his sister, “You let Ari have a black box?”

“If you’re gonna be a smartass, why don’t you call Oversight and say we have it instead,” Nikita bit back immediately, sharing some half-baked idea she had created. She earned various looks for the suggestion, but she ignored them. They might be able to leverage Oversight and Division if they lied about having the last black box. Ari and Gogol wouldn’t have been able to crack Birkhoff’s encryption anytime soon. The team could create a mission to grab it later. All that matter currently was finally putting an end to the black ops group- to the war.

“I hate your schemes so fucking much,” Sean was the first to agree. Michael and Alex came around with some more explanation. And Birkhoff just rolled with it as he returned to the room. Tossing him an encrypted cellphone to use, Nikita punched her brother in the gut. It was part payback for his sarcastic comments, and part cover for what he was going to tell Oversight. Whereas Michael and Birkhoff were unfazed by the siblings’ antics, Alex stared in bewilderment. She had missed much more from the team than just drama and missions. The new dynamic was certainly a surprising development. She wasn’t opposed to it, though. She liked how carefree and stupid it was. It made that complicated crusade simpler. 

It all came crashing down once Nikita heard her adopted mother’s voice over the phone, however. She was still so unequipped to meet her adopted mother again after a decade of separation. There was too much left unresolved. All she could do was stare at the cellphone, unmoving. Her voice was nearly robotic when it was her turn to sell the cover of capturing Sean and using the black box as leverage. If anyone noticed her reaction, they didn’t show it. Michael did move closer to her. Yet she didn’t know if that was to comfort her or to simply be near her. Either way, it did nothing to soothe her as the Guardians crashed the Oversight meeting, threatening everybody. The Pierce siblings glanced at each other in horror. Alex had to voice their thoughts for them, “What’s Clean Sweep?”

“A contingency that can take out all of Division,” Michael kept his tone steady. He had been the ones to identify the Guardians’ voices. The instant the men stormed the emergency meeting Madeline told Sean Oversight was having, Michael went into mission mode. They couldn’t just sit back and do nothing. Although the members were corrupt, they didn’t deserve to die. They had to face justice for what they had done. Percy also didn’t get to dictate what anyone did; he should’ve been burning in hell.

“We can’t let that happen,” Alex agreed with Michael. It wasn’t just about Oversight. The team couldn’t allow innocents to die. Division was evil- that was obvious. However, the agents weren’t the problem. They had been abused by the same system as everybody else. Their focus was on destroying the leaders. Which meant they had to go on a rescue mission. Fortunately, Madeline kept her phone connected to the call; they could hear everything that was happening. But before they could attempt any sort of plan, Birkhoff informed them the only way to destroy Clean Sweep was inside Division. Their op was going to be beyond dangerous. But Alex was willing to try, “Birkhoff and I can do that, while you guys take out the Guardians.”

Sean and Nikita hadn’t said anything the entire time. Their attention shifted between the phone and each other. Sean was terrified beyond belief. Nikita was numb. She didn’t like the dark thoughts that had drifted across her mind. The feelings settling in her gut weren’t any better. She almost succumbed to them, had it not been for her team. Michael, Birkhoff, and Alex broke her out of her spell as they poured over the simultaneous ops. It was rushed and imperfect, but it was something. They really were going to rescue everybody. Even if Michael didn’t like all the risks, “Not our best plan.”

“I’ve had worse,” Nikita mumbled and stormed off to save the day. Because that was what she did, despite everything.


	21. Chapter 20

As Alex returned to Division to take Clean Sweep offline, Michael, Sean, and Nikita arrived at the Gates House. They couldn’t storm the building with the threat still active. So they controlled the perimeter, and ensured they would have a secured approach. Sean was frantic. He was relying heavily on his Seal training, but nothing could’ve prepared him for that. He hated whenever his family was at risk; he couldn’t lose anymore people that he loved. But he wasn’t able to do anything at the moment. It was all about waiting for the perfect time to strike, the perfect chance to save everyone. Michael reminded him what was at stake, getting him to focus and settle. Nikita, on the other hand, had shut down. She stopped talking altogether.

She was helping on the mission, and doing everything she could. She had just closed herself off. Whatever Nikita was thinking or feeling about the situation was a mystery. Michael attempted to get her to talk as they prepared for the op. Yet she was great at ignoring him. She was excellent at ignoring her brother too. While he panicked about saving their mother, she was apathetic. At least on the outside. She wouldn’t allow her feelings to control her. It was just like every other mission. God, had she always been terrible at lying to herself. That op was far from normal. Her life was far from normal. And it was finally crashing down around her.

“Kill me now,” Nikita kept thinking that phrase over and over again. Just kill her. She didn’t want to be processing and experience the emotions that were ripping through her. The phone call with Madeline was still open. The team could hear everything in regards to the Guardians and the members of Oversight. But Nikita didn’t want to. Seeing her adopted mother was one thing. Hearing her panicked and in danger was another. Why did it hurt so fucking much. Shouldn’t the decision of what to do be easy. Michael, Alex, Birkhoff, and Sean knew exactly what they were doing. They knew it was up to them to save the day. So why was she the one struggling.

Saving Division was the simple choice for her, though. Nikita knew the agents and recruits didn’t deserve to die like that. They had been abused by the same people the team had. They were going to be rescued. Her revenge was focused on the leaders of the black ops group anyway. Percy, Amanda, and Oversight were the reason for all of their pain. So why were they going to save the members inside Gates House. The team was supposed to be destroying them. It wasn’t as though they were going to gain anything from the rescue. The universe didn’t work like that. There were no pardons or a change of heart awaiting them.

Madeline was, however. Her brother and sisters’ mother was in danger. Sean was so desperate to save her; Nikita couldn’t break his heart. They had already lost their father, and she was technically lost as well. Her siblings couldn’t lose their mother as well. That was her only motivation to fight so hard for Oversight. She’d do anything for Sean, Jill, and Sandy. Even if her sisters didn’t have a clue about what was going on. But maybe that was a good thing. They’d never had to know about the horrible world their family found themselves in. They’d never had to know that their sister seriously considered killing their mother.

That was the first thought that circled through Nikita’s head when the Guardians crashed the Oversight meeting. They should’ve just killed them all. She didn’t care about their lives, they certainly never cared about hers. If they died, the team would’ve been one step closer to their freedom. The war could end. But she just had to care for her brother. She wouldn’t let him or her sisters experience what she had. She lost Madeline, but they didn’t have to- not if she had the power to stop it. Her wounded heart was the thing driving her towards that decision. It kept telling her she could still run home. There was a chance when everything was all said and done, she could go back home with her mother.

It was a terrible thought to have. What Nikita had done could never let her go home. She was too damaged and monstrous to return to that loving place. She had also been hurt too many times. There was never a reprieve. Fortunately, an SUV rolling onto the scene distracted her from her thoughts. The team had overheard the bargaining deal: Percy was to be released and Clean Sweep would end. They were determined to ensure the bastard didn’t get away. The threat on Division and Oversight would end, yet he wouldn’t walk away at the end of it. Percy had other ideas, though. He stepped out of the SUV after killing his Division transport, smug and covered in blood. That stupid grin was wiped off his face, however, when Michael roughly grabbed him and shoved a gun in his face.

“Michael, loving the ‘Rebel Without a Cause’ motif. And… Is that Sean Pierce?” Completely nonchalant, Percy aimed to taunt the team. The gun in his face meant nothing to him. Though, he was surprised by Sean. He knew little about his involvement in his sister’s crusade. Since he knew that fact then, he was going to use it to continue tormenting them, “You have grown since the last Christmas card. The Navy certainly made a man out of you. Though, how did you take your mother faking your sister’s death? Must’ve been hard.”

Sean didn’t say a word; he didn’t think he could. He gripped his gun tighter, and shoved it in Percy’s face along with Michael’s. He couldn’t let his emotions betray him and cross his features. The bastard didn’t get to know that the Seal still couldn’t believe Nikita was alive- that he constantly stared at his sister, in awe that she was back in his life. No matter how often they talked or spent time together, he was afraid that none of it was real. She could be gone in an instant all over again. Despite pushing away the thoughts, Percy seemed to be able to read Sean’s mind. He was lucky Nikita held up the cellphone as a distraction, and commanded the bastard, “Call them off.”

A smirk pulled at Percy’s thin lips. The team probably should’ve known he had something terrible planned. Yet it was too late to do anything. Before they could stop him, he ordered the Guardians to kill everyone but Madeline. Sean yelled. Nikita froze. But Michael pistol whipped him, cocking his weapon. All he wanted to do was kill him. For Elizabeth, for Hayley, for Nikita, and for himself. He wanted Percy dead more than anything. And Michael was so close to finally killing him. The bastard just had one more ace up his sleeve. He could always find a way to stop death, “You kill me, you’ll be killing your girlfriend’s mother.”

Glancing at Nikita, Michael lowered his gun. He could wait to kill Percy if that was what was at stake; he wouldn’t dare break her heart. Nikita thought about it for a brief second, though. She considered breaking her brother’s heart. All of that pain would’ve gone away with one bullet. It would’ve been so easy. But one look at Sean, and she couldn’t do it. He was so distraught and panicked. She had to continue to protect her little brother. He couldn’t feel as she did- full of both love and hatred for their mother. Sean, Jill, and Sandy deserved better than the tragic tale of revenge, “What do you want?”

“What we all want. Freedom,” However, whatever Percy was going to propose was lost in a hail of bullets. They took cover as unknown agents swarmed the scene and shot at them. Birkhoff claimed over the coms that it was probably Gogol, and no one disagreed. The fighting pattern was recognizable enough to be the Russians. There was a good chance that Ari had tracked the Guardian they had encountered in France. They were going to take out Percy if it was the last thing the organization did. Nikita, Michael, and Sean didn’t care if he got caught in the crossfire; they just needed to save themselves, and Madeline. 

Nikita let Sean be in charge of that. It would’ve been better for him to rescue Madeline from the Gates House, anyway. Honestly, the gunfight was the best distraction she could have from her complex emotions. She knew how to handle herself with bullets flying and enemy agents to take out. She didn’t have to think about how a person could fill her with so much rage and so much pain, yet she still felt like loving her. Was she ever going to move past what Madeline did to her. Was she ever going to separate the mother who had raised her from the woman who had turned her over to the wolves. She doubted it.

Alex soon shouted at them over the coms that Clean Sweep was offline. She sounded out of breath, and frazzled. But she had done it. The threat was neutralized. At least at Division it was. The Gates House continued to be insane. Percy had disappeared, as had the Guardians. The team couldn’t pick them out amongst the Gogol agents. They were simply shooting at any enemy in an effort to save themselves. Nikita and Michael were able to approach the house, however. Sean had intended to go around the back, but he got caught in gunfire. He couldn’t move from his position. It was up to one of them to rescue Madeline. Michael decided it should’ve been Nikita, “I’ll cover Sean. You go get Madeline.”

Her head shaking, Nikita attempted to protest. She’d rather not confront her adopted mother right then. She could wait until she wasn’t upset and anxious. Maybe when she reunited with Jill and Sandy, she’d talk to Madeline. Yet Michael argued against her. With everything going on, the senator didn’t need a stranger with a gun rushing up to her. She needed one of her children to calm her and assure her that Gogol, the Guardians, and Percy were nothing to worry about- the team would handle it. As gently as he could while shooting at agents, Michael tried to make Nikita understand that, “She needs a familiar face, Nik.”

After a moment of thought, Nikita had to admit that Michael was right. She cursed as she made her way inside the building, Michael and Sean covering her. Some Gogol agents had made it inside, but she took care of them no problem. The Guardians and Percy continued to be nowhere in sight. They probably escaped in the chaos of the gunfight. The team would have to focus on killing them later. For the moment, they had to survive. And Nikita had to untie her adopted mother. Madeline was the only one left alive in the room. She was zip-tied to a chair, absolutely terrified. Yet when she saw her daughter, she froze. Nikita was able to fight through her shock long enough to start hacking at the bonds. Until she spoke, “Behind you, Sweetheart.”

Instinct made Nikita whip around and shoot the Gogol agent creeping up behind her. She also managed to shoot the other assailant walking through the side door. When she was able to face Madeline again, the expression on her face startled her. It was full of hurt and heartbreak. Swallowing her sudden anger, she ignored her adopted mother. She wasn’t allowed to be upset about what had happened to her daughter. It was all her fault. Nikita quickly untied Madeline, then moved back as far as possible. The senator attempted to follow the rogue, but Michael and Sean stumbled into the room ruining the moment.

They both ensured Nikita and Madeline were alright, before addressing what to do next. There were things they needed to discuss if they were going to move forward in the crusade. Birkhoff voiced through the coms that they’d need help stopping Percy. And Alex muttered something about Amanda as she made her way out of Division. Sean agreed with both of them, expressing that destroying the black ops group was the right thing to do. His mother had tried to have him run the place, after all; she knew it was corrupt and evil. Since they had saved her, she had to join their side of the fight. Michael drove that point home, while he laid out the steps of what they had to do next. 

Mother and daughter just stared at one another.


	22. Chapter 21

"Nice try," After she had tried a risky move, Michael was able to pin Nikita to the mat. She fought against him, but with his weight pressing into her there was nowhere for her to go. Begrudgingly, she accepted defeat and glared up at him. Although he smirked at his victory, his comment wasn't directed at her technique. She hadn't been talking since Clean Sweep. She'd make a quip or say something out of necessity. Yet when it came to talking about their future or what to do next, she was silent. He attempted to get her to open up while they sparred, but she kept deflecting. He had her at that moment, however. She couldn't escape.

Brown eyes intense, Nikita stared up at Michael. She clenched her jaw, as if that would stop any words from tumbling loose. She didn't want to talk. What was she supposed to say, anyway. The team had made a deal with Madeline: they'd take out Division for good, then they'd receive pardons. It was freedom and a chance to go home for all of them. She just wouldn't talk about home. Nothing he did could get her to speak her mind; she had shut him and everybody else out. If he got through to her then, however, he wouldn't know. Alex interrupted just as he was going to ask her to share with him, "I had to shake two Division tails on my way over."

"Then why come here?" A bit too harshly, Nikita finally managed to shove Michael off of her. He had shifted his weight to get to his feet and pull her up, but she lost her patience. Alex shot Michael a look, wondering what the hell was going on. But he shook his head. Nikita's anger wasn't something to mess with. Later, he'd call Sean again to see if he was free enough to talk her down. That was a long shot, though. Since the publicity of what occurred at the Gates House, he had been busy with the Seals. The siblings hadn't had the time to talk after they had saved their mother.

Michael could only guess that was what pissed Nikita off. She had to save her adopted mother, despite what she had done to her. Yet he assumptions weren't going to get him anywhere. The two of them needed to talk- about her pain, about their future together. It was so frustrating that she wouldn't. He understood, but she wasn't alone; she had friends to help her. Alex recognized Nikita's strong desire not to discuss what she was thinking, so she pushed forward. Hopefully, her information would be a great distraction. It'd give everyone a moment to not drown in their thoughts, "Amanda hasn't done anything with Oversight gone. It's like she's waiting."

"For what?" Michael wondered, readily accepting Alex's change of subject. She was back as a mole inside Division for the team, and it felt great to be working together again. It was also something she was finally doing right. She thought she had made one too many mistakes lately. The fact that she had inadvertently alerted the Guardians to help Percy escape because of her blinding need for revenge, only made her guilt grow. But she was back with her team, and giving them information on Amanda. They could take the bitch and Division down, kill Semak, and live happily ever after. It was all going in the perfect direction.

"Some twisted plan to come together. I know she wants me to announce that Alexandra Udinov is alive," If only they knew what steps to take. Alex had been hopping from one lead to the next, getting swept up by missions on the way. It was about time she settled and actually planned. Maybe since they knew Amanda's scheme, the team could come up with something. Michael didn't like the idea. Who knew what the vile woman had in mind with such a scheme. Things were bound to end terribly. They couldn't give her what she wanted.

"Do it. We can keep tabs on Amanda and Ari. And you can save your mom," On the other hand, Nikita was all for it. The team needed to stay one step ahead if they were going to ever end that damn crusade. Amanda still ran Division, Ari still had a black box, and Katya was still in danger. Sending Alex back to Russia as the heir of Zetrov just might've been the best way to knock down the remaining variables. Besides, the only way of knowing what their enemies were up to was to stick close to them. Alex could do so safely with her team watching her back from the sidelines.

"Look. I know you're upset. But we can't risk Alex's life like that," Michael continued to be against the idea. Nikita had to calm down and think for a moment. Her emotions had been frayed by her recent encounter with Madeline. Although the two hadn't spoken directly, there was still so much hurt. That didn't mean she could jump into something without thought, however. They had made too many risky gambits in the past. For the final stretch of the war, they should play things safe. If Birkhoff wasn't off getting supplies to fortify their safehouse, and if Sean wasn't with the Seals, they would've backed Michael's decision. No more unnecessary danger.

"It's not a risk. It's in Amanda's interest to keep you alive. She wants Zetrov, right? Then you're gonna give it to her," Nikita made her final point to Alex. It was ultimately her choice whether or not to come back to life. The team could create other ways to destroy Division and Gogol, and save Katya. That opportunity simply fell into their laps. Once her opinion on the matter was out in the air, however, Nikita left the room. Alex and Michael could discuss what they were going to do next. She was going to shower and not contemplate her future, instead. Just floating from mission to mission seemed like the more appealing option to her.

"She's right. Besides, I'll have you watching out for me," Stopping Michael from following Nikita, Alex agreed to go along with whatever Amanda was planning. A new operation they could put their energy in would be great for them. The team could make real objectives for how they were going to end the war. Nikita could also be given time and space to process. Alex definitely needed time after reuniting with her mother in Russia; hell, she continued to struggle with her thoughts and feelings on the matter. The rogue, though more pissed than upset, was experiencing the same anguish. The only way they could push past everything was a complicated mission to distract them.

Although he wanted to give her the space and time she needed, Michael had to talk with Nikita instantly. He couldn't stand seeing her so hurt. He felt as though he had to fix things for her, help her be happy again. If only she wasn't being so stubborn and distant. After taking a shower and talking to Alex before she left, Nikita delved into cleaning all of their weapons. It certainly was a tedious and long task to hide behind; she didn't have to discuss things while she took stock of their equipment. Michael sighed and soon joined her. Even if she was shutting him out, he was going to remain by her side.

They worked in silence for hours. Music blasted from the speakers, but it was more or less ignored by the two. At some point, Michael tried to gain Nikita's attention. He wasn't going to talk about serious subjects, just let her know he was there. Or maybe he'd simply suggest they get something to eat. Yet a computer chimed with a message, breaking the moment. The suddenness surprised Michael, and he leapt to answer it. What he read didn't make any sense, however. How was that possible, "It's Birkhoff. You're on the news."

Nikita immediately abandoned the gun she had been working on to check it out. Michael pulled up the link Birkhoff sent, and they stared in shock. Sean had dealt with the media fallout of Clean Sweep. The team shouldn't have been anywhere near the news, especially since they didn't exist anymore. Except there was Nikita's name, spraypainted into the side of a highway patrolman's vehicle. Apparently, the officer had been involved with her 'accident'. He was paid off to ignore certain details, and that corruption was what led to his eventual death. Whoever killed him wanted justice for her.

The fact made Nikita feel sick to her stomach. Not for herself, though, for her sisters. How were they handling everything. First, they had to hear about the assassination attempt on their mother. Then, their dead sister was mentioned on the news. Sean had to have been talking to them, explaining as best he could and calming their fears. Nikita wanted to do that as well. But she couldn't. She still couldn't be in Jill's and Sandy's lives. While Michael messaged Birkhoff back to dig into the matter, she reached for a burner phone. It was time to call her brother. But before she could contact him, a call came in from Madeline's office. She hesitated for a long moment. On the last ring, she finally answered, "Nikki. It's Percy. Can you track him?"

Neither Michael nor Nikita were shocked (though Nikita still didn't say a word to Madeline). Of course Percy would find some way to contact her. His stupid voice had been playing over the newsfeed; he was the one to report the murder. He probably called her adopted mother so he could gloat about whatever shitty plan he was enacting. Nikita gave him that chance. Michael might've been able to track him through Shadownet. Or she could've learned something that would lend a hand in his destruction. Despite those possibilities, she had to listen to the egotistical bastard speak, "I assume you've seen the news by now."

"Congrats. You're shining a light on your own conspiracy," Nikita's snark covered her anxiety. She couldn't stop thinking about her sisters. She hadn't stopped thinking about them since Clean Sweep and the Gates House. She wanted to talk to them so badly. There was no doubt they were freaking out, and she could assure them. But she couldn't. She doubted she could ever talk to them again. The pardons the team were promised didn't guarantee they could go home; it didn't ensure that they'd have their lives back. She could remain separated from Jill and Sandy for the rest of her life.

Was it weird that she was grateful for Percy's call. His annoying threatening was the perfect distraction. Although shining a light on the conspiracy of her 'death' was probably traumatizing her sisters, it at least exposed Percy. He reminded Nikita that other people were at stake in regards to the secret; the exposure could blind them as well. She simply shrugged. The team would do anything to burn the bastard. Who cared about conspiracies. Besides, she'd always protect her family and her team could take care of themselves. Percy couldn't hurt them, "Good thing everyone I love either has a gun, or knows someone with one."

"What about Carla Bennett? Wasn't she the teacher you and your siblings considered a second mother?" Percy's questions caused ice to course through Nikita's veins. How could he have possibly heard about her. And why the hell would he want to hurt a highschool teacher to get back at her. Yet as she threatened him to back off, he hung up. Michael wasn't able to trace the call, but he didn't appear upset about it. He was more concerned with the fear flashing across Nikita's features. She didn't let him approach her, however. Instantly, she was dialing Sean's number on the burner.

Her brother didn't answer. Three more calls and he still didn't pick up- stupid Navy. Nikita had to know what happened to Ms. Bennet after she was recruited. Was she still teaching. Was she safe. She turned to Shadownet for any kind of answer. Michael attempted to get her to slow down and explain what was happening. If he understood, he could help her; they could both protect an innocent from Percy's wrath. But she was spiraling too much to focus on anything else at the moment. She had to ensure everyone's safety. There had already been more pain than anyone should've taken. No more loss. No more deaths of people that got dragged into that fucking war by no fault of their own.

When Shadownet came up with nothing, Nikita grew desperate. That shouldn't have been possible; Birkhoff had his hacking software in everything. Ms. Bennet must've been off the grid, and it must've been Percy's fault. Michael was still trying to calm her, wrap her in his arms and get her to breathe. But she was beyond determined to save a life. She wasn't going to have another person she cared about die because of her. In a last ditch effort to protect her loved ones, Nikita dialed another familiar number on the burner cell. Madeline answered after one ring, worried about the situation. Yet Nikita ignored her and made a demand, "You owe me."


	23. Chapter 22

There was a good chance Carla Bennet knew someone was after her, and that was why she was living off the grid. Nikita was going to have to draw her out, prove to her that she was safe; she was beyond determined to save her from Percy’s wrath. Unfortunately, Nikita had to turn to Madeline for assistance. Her adopted mother agreed to help almost instantly. Not only did she want to protect her children's’ former teacher, she’d also do anything her daughter asked. She deserved that much. The two managed to work together to formulate some sort of plan. Madeline would call a press conference to discuss what occurred at the Gates House. In front of the cameras, she’d quote Carla’s famous wildflowers speech and confess she wanted to talk to that ‘constituent’ again. Hopefully, that would let her know it was safe to come out of hiding.

However, to ensure they could immediately rush off to protect Ms. Bennet from Percy, Michael and Nikita had to wait with Madeline for her phone call. Awkward silence filled the office the instant the two rogues snuck in. What was there to talk about while they screened numerous deadends. At some point, Michael was able to make smalltalk with Madeline. He thanked her for the help, and for the pardons. Nikita, on the other hand, continued to sit in silence; she had nothing to say. Her partner wouldn’t let that last for long. Mother and daughter needed to talk, even if he had to force them to. So, he left to go get them all something to eat. He ignored the glare his partner gave him, knowing what he was doing was worth it. After he was gone, Madeline couldn’t help but chuckle, “He’s cute.”

“Don’t,” Nikita instantly cut off any attempts to connect. She didn’t need to be talking about boys with her adopted mother. She was only there to save Ms. Bennet; she wasn’t going to let another loved one be consumed by that damn war with Division. Neither Madeline nor Michael seemed to be able to understand that. Yes, they wanted to save an innocent. But they also wanted to mend the broken relationship. Nikita didn’t care about that, however. She was content with how things were. She didn’t need her mother.

The senator stared at her daughter across the office. Nikita had intentionally sat as far away from her as possible. She was tucked into the corner of the couch, dark hair hiding her features from any prying eyes. Madeline wanted to know what she was thinking; she wanted to know of some way she could fix things. She had messed up terribly. Trying to ensure her daughter’s safety only caused more pain than she ever could’ve imagined. But they were back together again- sort of. She could have a second chance to make it alright. Moving towards Nikita, Madeline tried one more time to reach out, “Nikki…”

“You don’t get to call me that,” Seething, Nikita finally directed her harsh gaze at her adopted mother. She had hated when Birkhoff started to call her by her family nickname back in Division. It was a cruel reminder of everything that was stolen from her. Yet as she and the nerd grew closer, he earned the right. He was essentially her family by that point anyway. Madeline, however, lost any claim to ‘Nikki’. She didn’t get to be affectionate or loving. She gave up that privilege. 

Instead of sitting next to her, Madeline decided to rest in the chair across the couch. She could work her way back into Nikita’s heart. She was up to the challenge of earning her place in her life. After everything she had done, it was only fair. But her daughter had to understand the whole situation first. It wasn’t as simple as giving her away. There were disastrous consequences to every choice she could’ve made. She did the best she could, “I know you’re upset and hurt. But you have to understand…”

“That you didn’t want me. That you only adopted me to cover a scandal. And the second you could get rid of me, you did,” Wow, Nikita really sounded like Alex. But it wasn’t as though she had any solutions to the young woman’s family problems. All she could do was let her know she wasn’t alone, and that she was always there for her. She still had absolutely no idea how to move past the hurt of being betrayed by her mother. The best she could do was ignore it and focus on the present. It was a terrible plan.

“Fine. You were adopted to keep your father’s infidelity underwraps. But the fact that your mother died, and I held you to calm you is true. I loved you the instant I held you. I still love you,” Madeline confessed. There was more to the infidelity and adoption story, but it wasn’t the time to delve into it. All Nikita had to know was how loved she was. Except, the words only made her roll her brown eyes. The declaration seemed empty to her. How could it be true if past actions proved otherwise. What kind of love was that.

“Then why give me to Percy?” Despite her cynicism of her adopted mother’s confession, Nikita had to bite back tears. She hated the small part of her that believed in Madeline’s love- the part of her that still had hope for a happily ever after with her entire family. It was all too complicated and messy to think straight. One second her adopted mother’s heart was easy to read; all she wanted was the best for her daughter. Other moments, however, it was as though she was deciphering a code. It shouldn’t have been that way. Family was supposed to be clear and understandable. Nikita shouldn’t feel so torn up inside.

“It was the only way to save you,” Madeline softened her voice and her gaze. She wanted to move across the office to comfort her daughter. But she knew she needed more time. Nikita pulled herself tighter against the couch cushions, tears simmering in her eyes. She clenched her jaw to ensure they didn’t fall. She wasn’t going to break down in front of her adopted mother. She wasn’t going to let her see how affected she was by all of that. Taking in a deep breath, she had to bury her emotions. She was stoic and hollow.

“It destroyed me. They made me kill. They made me steal. They made me lie and frame people. They made me sleep with dangerous men. I didn’t want to do any of those things. I didn’t want to kill anyone, or be whored out. I don’t want to be a monster,” The tears betrayed Nikita, regardless. Being served up to Division didn’t save anyone. That hellhole destroyed every piece of a person’s soul, and attempted to shape them into an awful new image. By escaping, the team managed to rebuild themselves into better versions- they were reclaiming their hearts. However, Nikita couldn’t shake everything she had done. That was going to be a part of her forever. 

Madeline couldn’t stand by any longer. She had to comfort her daughter. It wasn’t right that Nikita had to suffer so much, and she had no power to stop it. The senator used to have been able to do anything with Oversight. That group gave her power. However, she couldn’t protect her children. She thought she could keep all four of them away from pain and heartache; she thought she could have it all. But it appeared that she had lost more than she could afford. Collapsing next to Nikita, Madeline attempted to wrap her in a hug. She was going to be for her then. Even if nothing was fixed, “You’re not a monster, Sweetheart.”

Instinctively, Nikita fought against the embrace. She scrambled off the couch and away from Madeline. She couldn’t take anymore of that. She couldn’t have the sweet and endearing mother after she was given up. Their relationship should’ve been over. She should be more focused on reconnecting with her brother and trying to get home to her sisters. Her siblings annoyed her, and she was so close to killing Sean sometimes during their crusade, but she loved them more than anything. Her adopted mother didn’t deserve the same sentiment. The hurt she had put her through shattered her heart beyond repair. There were other options besides forcing her daughter to be an assassin, “You should’ve let me die.”

“Should you have let Alex die? Or Michael? Or Birkhoff? You saved them, but they still experienced pain. Is it still worth it?” Getting to her feet, Madeline wondered. She didn’t follow Nikita, yet she did have her look at her. Her daughter’s survival was more important than any potential pain. She might’ve lost her to Percy and Division, but she didn’t lose her forever. She had had hope that she would’ve been happy somewhere. That despite everything she could be at peace. Maybe she could still be after that war. Nikita was fighting hard enough to achieve the life Madeline always wanted for her. The tragic thing was, her adopted mother didn’t help her in that quest. She had hindered her. 

“Their pain wasn’t my fault. I didn’t give them to monsters. I saved them and loved them,” Nikita never intentionally gave her friends to vile bastards. She did everything she could to save them and protect them. How could anyone not fight so hard for the people they love. Bad things were bound to happen- no one could stop that. Yet Nikita still tried to make sure her friends and family were happy. She’d fight tooth and nail for them; she’d never leave them to the wolves. What kind of symbol of love was that.

Neither of them were seeing each other’s side. Their ideas of love differed drastically. Nikita saw it as something to constantly work and fight for. She’d do anything for those she loved. She was selfless and caring, and had a bigger heart than she knew what to do with. Madeline saw love as sacrifice. There was a give and take, and not everyone would be satisfied. Mistakes happened, as they always did. But they were alive, and able to love more. Madeline reached for her daughter in one last attempt to make her understand. She had Nikita recruited because she loved her, “I tried. I fought…”

“You should’ve fought harder!” Nikita didn’t care if her shout carried out of the room. The secretary screening the calls could listen in on the family drama. The world should know what kind of person Senator Madeline Pierce was. She was corrupt, she was stubborn, she did too good of a job at sweeping secrets under the rug. If the world knew of the things she’d done, she’d lose all her power. Although Nikita wanted that, she also just wanted her adopted mother to understand. How could the security of Oversight and Division be more important than her. Why did her witnessing an assassination have to have such drastic consequences, “I was your daughter. I should’ve been worth it.”

Her thoughts turned towards Michael for a second; Nikita couldn’t help it. When it came to parenthood, he appeared like a shining example. He was beyond willing to risk everything for Hayley and Max. If he could give his life for theirs, he would do so without a moment of hesitation. He’d do anything for his children. Madeline didn’t even compare. For a brief instant, Nikita thought about what her own father would’ve done had he been aware. Would he have laid down his life for hers. Would he have continued to love her despite everything. She shook those ideas away. She didn’t need to cry again. Especially when Madeline was asking her a question, “What can I do?”

“Let me go home. Let me be with my family again. Give me back everything I lost. Including Ryan Fletcher,” It was too much to want, Nikita knew that. They were wishful requests that could never be fulfilled. Yet she made them anyway. Maybe she wanted to hurt Madeline like she had hurt her. She wanted her to realize everything she took from her. It wasn’t just her home and her life. She lost more than she ever should’ve. Her adopted mother owed her; the pardons weren’t going to cut it. She had to have her family back. 

“And Daniel?”

Nikita blinked. The only people to know about her late fiancé had been Division (or Division adjacent, like Alex). She never told Sean about Daniel; that was too much to share with her brother. So how could Madeline know. No one she knew would’ve told her. Not even Percy would divulge everything that happened in that bunker to Oversight. That group must’ve had more knowledge than anyone thought. They had the power to know everything, “You knew? You knew what they fucking did to me! Did you know about the hit on Alex? What about Michael? Did you sit by and let innocents die, when you had the power to stop it!”

“Those were Percy’s decisions. Oversight tried not to take it that far. Why do you think we wanted him gone? Then he made those asinine black boxes,” Madeline was quick to try and assure Nikita. She only knew what happened to her daughter and her fiancé after the fact. If she had known everything beforehand, she would’ve done something. Or at least attempted to. She never wanted her to be in such pain. She was aware of the assassinations and spying that took place, but not the emotional anguish. Of course she didn’t want her daughter to go through that. But Nikita just stared at Madeline, hurt and unforgiving. That was the last straw. 

“You’re unbelievable,” Nikita muttered and shook her head. She turned her back on her adopted mother, not willing to engage in any more conversation. Fortunately, Michael soon returned with the food. Although he sensed the tense mood in the room, he didn’t say a word. He passed around the dinner, and moved to be by his partner’s side. There was still so much left for them to do. There was Ms. Bennet, Katya, Semak, Ari, Percy, and Amanda to be worried about. The strained mother-daughter relationship was only added to the list. However, that seemed the most troublesome. No victories, or understandings, or forward movement had been made. Nikita and Madeline were at a stalemate, where love and hatred were mixed so tightly it was confusing. It was just never ending. And Nikita was starting to think she couldn’t do it all.


	24. Chapter 23

_Eleven Years Earlier_

“Bet I can clear the pool and hit Sean from here,” Growing bored of dribbling her soccer ball against the outside wall of the garage, Nikita glanced across the backyard. She should probably jump into the swimming pool and practice her laps, instead. Yet it was just so tempting to ruin her brother’s football practice with their dad. She didn’t doubt she could kick her ball at his back, even from the other side of the yard. Jill and Sandy didn’t doubt that either. They paused the recital music they had been practicing their dance to, and started debating how much money to bet. As Nikita readied the ball to launch it, however, their mother stopped her.

“We’ll go to that new Chinese restaurant if you can hit your father,” Madeline looked up from some reports she was reading, and grinned at the thought. He was farther away than Sean, but the possibility of going out for dinner excited the girls. With the encouraging support of her sisters, Nikita focused intentionally on the ball and drew back her foot. Again, her mother stopped her, “Wait, Nikki. Wait for the right moment.”

Madeline always tried her best to teach her children patience. The four of them were rash and quick to act, not taking the time to think. But after years of dealing with congressmen, she had become the expert in waiting for the perfect moment to strike. She reminded Nikita to breathe and relax. She had to think. Setting the ball in front of her, she stepped back. She bounced on the balls of her feet, and steadied her aim. A gust of wind rustled the tree behind her, and she took off sprinting. The wind helped to propel her soccer all the way to her father- just as Sean threw his football. Both hit their dad right in the head.

“Did you actually kick that?” He wasn’t angry, however. He laughed in amazement along with his children. And once Nikita nodded in excitement, he cheered loudly as well. Their mother and father both started to shout how proud of her they were- how proud they were of all their kids. The teens groaned in response. A perfect family moment had been ruined by over-affectionate parents. At least they had their siblings to turn to when they made fun of their mom and dad’s comments later, “Hell yeah!”

“Ugh. Shut up,” Jill, Sandy, Nikita, and Sean hid their smiles as they complained. Their parents laughed.

_Present_

“Just what the fuck?” Nikita wasn’t breathing, relaxing, or thinking. She ended a long string of rants, crashing into the beach house with tears in her brown eyes. What the fuck was happening. She had thought arguing with her adopted mother was terrible enough. But then Ms. Bennet walked to Percy in his damn car. She had called Madeline’s office shortly after they finished eating. Nikita and Michael met her by the train tracks to bring her in safely. Then Alex called to inform them that Amanda had the former teacher as her number one kill order. And Carla admitted to knowing who Amanda and Percy were. Then Percy and his goons showed up. And it just kept getting worse. 

Michael followed Nikita’s frantic path to the living room, grabbing a first aid kit along the way. She was throwing down her things and tearing off her coat in a complete rampage. He understood her confusion and frustration; he really did. But she had to stop. They could figure it out when they settled down, “I don’t know. But there’s glass in your arm. So please stay still.”

Ricochet from a bullet hitting the car window badly cut her forearm. Nikita hadn’t really noticed it until then. Her mind had been racing for what felt like forever. She couldn’t remember the last time she breathed. Gently, Michael began to clean her wound. The tender touch grounded her, “Why does Amanda want her dead? How does she know Percy? What the fuck is it with Division, that it keeps dragging in people that should be the farthest from it?”

“I wish I could tell you, Nikita. But I didn’t know about Carla Bennet until you told me about her,” Michael admitted softly. He could hear the tremble in her voice. Nikita was so close to crying; she had been since her conversation ended with Madeline. He wished there was something he could’ve done. He thought leaving the two of them to talk would’ve helped. But it was just one more thing weighing her down. 

Tensing her jaw and clenching her fist, Nikita attempted to fight her tears. She was exhausted and injured, she wasn’t processing anything but hurt. She had to keep pushing forward, not be dragged down by anything. But, God, were her thoughts pieces of shit, “She was a teacher, Michael. She cared about us. So how could she… it doesn’t make any… was she working with Madeline? Did they…”

“Whoa. Okay. I know this is a lot right now. And I know your recruitment into Division was different. But I don’t think it was planned. You can’t groom an agent. And why would they do that to their student or daughter?” Instantly, Michael ended that speculation. Ms. Bennet and Madeline didn’t force Nikita to be a Division agent. It was Percy’s idea of a terrible deal to keep her from being cleaned. She wasn’t listening to him, however. She wasn’t breathing, relaxing, or thinking. He moved even closer to her as he wrapped her arm, giving her something steady to hold on to.

“I did it to Alex,” Nikita’s voice was shaky and quiet as she argued. The tears were going to come whether she wanted them to or not. Her fist clutched onto Michael’s t-shirt, instead of digging her nails into her palm. He soothed her bandage, and tenderly tucked a wild strand of her dark hair behind her ear. The affection opened the floodgates, and tears began to fall.

“It was her choice,” Softly, Michael reminded her. Alex was an entirely different situation. Nikita shouldn’t draw parallels between them. Yet her anguish was betraying her. Although she cried, she fought the sob that threatened to break loose. All of that bullshit didn’t get to win. The tears that had been forming since her name reappeared in the news didn’t get to win. She was going to stay above it.

However, Michael was comforting her. He didn’t know just how long she was battling her hurt, but he was going to be there for her regardless. Nikita couldn’t fight to remain strong, when he was being so soft and gentle. It was all about to fall apart. Was it bad luck or good that Sean entered the safehouse at that moment. He distracted his sister with his initial sarcasm, then instant concern when he noticed her teary-eyed and injured, “You know I have an actual job. I can’t come everytime you… What the hell happened?”

“What happened to Ms. Bennet after I died?” Nikita asked rather than explain anything. That was the part that was confusing her the most. How did Ms. Bennet go from being a highschool teacher, to living by the tracks out of her car. Maybe Sean’s answer could fill in some blanks. It might even explain why Amanda wanted her dead. 

Shrugging, Sean glanced at Michael to help him understand. His attention was solely on Nikita, however, ensuring she was alright. She was wiping her tears, and staring at her brother like he was a lifeline. He had to have been able to help her. Except, he was so completely lost, “I don’t know. Where’s Alex?”

“No one cares about your stupid little crush right now, dumbass! Ms. Bennet. My death. What the fuck happened?” Nikita just snapped. Lividity took over her anguish. She didn’t want to be held in the dark anymore. She needed to know everything. How else could she understand- how else could she move forward- if she didn’t know the truth. It was so frustrating to be continuously lied to. That fucking war should’ve uncovered secrets, not throw her deeper into more. 

Sean only asked about Alex to see if someone else was around to explain what was occurring. Obviously, he wasn’t going to get anything out of an angry Nikita. The best he could do was snap back at her, and hope he’d figure it out along the way, “I don’t know! A week after the crash, she was just gone. No one knows what happened. And I don’t have a crush.”

Nikita somehow managed to convey two sentiments with the same glare. She was going to kill Sean for being so stupid, and her earlier argument about Carla was right. Ms. Bennet disappearing after she ‘died’ wasn’t a coincidence; she had to have been involved. Michael shook his head. He wouldn’t believe that. There was always another explanation, “Alright. Maybe, like you, she saw something she shouldn’t have and was on the run. Division must’ve picked up on her trail then. Percy used you to find her now. Maybe something happened ten years ago.”

“How did they even connect her to me? I never talked about anyone in Division,” Despite Amanda’s digging, Nikita refused to talk about her friends and family as a recruit; she didn’t want to delve into that pain. Sure, that hellhole could’ve discovered anything about her past. But why would they look at her teachers. They shouldn’t have been a threat to Division’s power.

“School records. Your funeral. Hell, maybe even Madeline or Sean or your sisters. They must’ve found something while erasing your past,” Michael suggested. He was as lost as Nikita. Although he had always known Percy and Amanda kept things from him, he never thought it would be that extensive or dire. After learning of Division’s involvement in his family’s death, however, he shouldn’t be shocked by the horrors they swept under the rug.

“Your backpack was missing after the crash. Division must’ve taken it and looked through it. They could’ve found your schedule,” Taking a moment to breathe, relax, and think, Sean remembered a weird detail about the car accident. Nothing had been removed from the car, not even the spilled gallon of chocolate milk. But her backpack had disappeared. He didn’t think much of it at the time; he had been too swept up in grief. Yet with Division, it was starting to make sense.

Beginning to pace again, Nikita shook her head. It was a good theory, but she didn’t have anything substantial in her backpack. Especially by that point in the school year; she had already been accepted into college. There had to have been something else, “No. I didn’t have it anymore… But the card. I wrote Ms. Bennet a thank you note for everything she’s done for us. That’s probably how she popped back up on the radar.”

“But why was she on there in the first place?” Sean was starting to think he knew what was going on. Division wanted Ms. Bennet for a reason nobody knew. That didn’t explain why Alex wasn’t around, though. Or why Nikita was so hurt. When everyone calmed down, he was certain he’d hear the whole story. For the time being, he would help them find some answers.

“The only thing I know is that I want to kill Percy,” Eventually, Michael sighed. They wouldn’t be in that situation had it not been for the bastard. The anguish and lies were eating away at the team. Hell, Nikita was still fighting the tears in her eyes. Anger had overpowered her sorrow, but it was going to erupt soon. She hadn’t even processed her fight with her adopted mother. Everything was tearing at her heart, and she was never given a break to mend it. He wanted so desperately to help. Yet she was back to her bad habit of pushing everyone away.

“Well we can now with the black boxes out of the way. His deadman’s switch is useless,” Nikita huffed. That was one of the great things they had. The team could finally kill Percy without consequence. She didn’t want to delve into why that reason was the thing that got her to breathe, relax, and think. It was possible that it was something positive she could focus on. She could end one of her problems, “Hey. That sends out a signal, right? We can reverse ping it?”

“Birkhoff and I already tried. We need Division servers,” All for the idea, Michael informed her of the limitations they faced. Nothing was ever that simple for them. Easy solutions almost always had complicated paths. That didn’t seem to deter Nikita, however. A plan sparked in her eyes, and she smiled wickedly. Her course was set. 

“And we know people inside who want Percy dead, just as much as we do,” Squaring her shoulders, Nikita went over to the computers to enact whatever she was thinking. Michael watched her for a moment. She was back to her kick ass, take names, self-assured attitude. But he knew it was going to be easily destroyed. One more blow, and she’d be drowning all over again. She had to talk. They all had to talk. But damn action was taking precedent. 

Confused, and hurt himself, Sean looked to Michael one last time for answers. He wasn’t just dealing with the Seals and the team, he also had to assure his other sisters that it was all okay; he couldn’t stand lying to them. Sean never told Nikita when he went to spend time with Jill and Sandy. The siblings didn’t know how to actually deal with her fake death. Michael didn’t either. Besides, he had his own things to talk to Nikita about. They were swimming in complications. The Seal couldn’t take it, “Can I know what’s going on now?”

“Keep up, Boy Scout,” Michael muttered, following Nikita. Sean rolled his hazel eyes, but joined the two at the computers anyway. They just had to work through it all together.


	25. Chapter 24

Sean was looped in on what was occurring, while Michael and Nikita contacted Division. He tried to process his shock as quickly as he could, but it was just too much. Not only was Alex putting herself in danger by coming back to life, but his old teacher was involved with bastards. None of it was making any sense. He tried to focus on other things, and ask how his sister handled meeting with their mother again. Yet she was too determined on the present situation. He doubted she'd talk to him anyway. Saving Ms. Bennet and getting answers was far more important to her. She wouldn't delve into her feelings then.

Fortunately, Amanda and Sonya (the hacker that had actually given Birkhoff a run for his money) agreed to work with the team; the enemy of their enemy really was their friend at the moment. It wasn't going to last long, however. Division was going to raid the same warehouse to kill Percy. If the team was hellbent on rescuing Ms. Bennet, they had to leave immediately. Sean rolled out with Michael and Nikita, not caring about his Seal status. His sister needed him, even if she hadn't said as much. Besides, he needed her too.

The mission was- well it was a mission. Percy escaped with Roan, but at least Ms. Bennet was safe. She was on one of the beach house's couches, recovering from a head injury. Michael watched over her, as Sean and Nikita collapsed in a chair. They probably shouldn't have shared one. Yet it was a habit from when they were little that they seemed to have fallen back into; both were too stubborn to move. Kicking and pushing, they struggled to get comfortable. The siblings somehow managed it, and Sean sighed in defeat, "Our mom. Our teacher. Who's next? Our neighbors?"

"I honestly wouldn't be surprised if the Stepps were involved with this shit," Nikita huffed. She elbowed her brother in an attempt to better sit in the chair. Although Sean grunted painfully, he didn't stop her; he'd lose any battle they got into. The siblings settled once more, and simply stared off into space. Their mission could be considered a success, but to what point. They were just going to receive more answers they wouldn't know how to deal with. Conspiracies and secret organizations were all fun and games when it was only a movie or a story. But since it controlled their lives, and the people they looked up to were the ones to blame, it was stressful and heartbreaking.

"Well yeah. You stole their newspapers," Instead of voicing his darker thoughts, Sean attempted an old joke. Nikita instantly became pissed. Even after all those years, she continued to be angered by her former neighbors. Her brother wanted to laugh at her over it. He knew she hadn't actually done anything. Their neighbors blamed her for nothing, disliking her for frivolous and stupid reasons. He would've thought she had gotten over it and moved on. There were so many other things in her life to piss her off. Apparently, he was wrong, "Are you still sensitive about that?"

"You're one to talk, Boy Scout," With another sharp jab, Nikita retaliated. If anyone could hold resentment, it'd be a Pierce. The Stepps had thrown her judging looks and cruel words for most of her childhood- of course she'd stay angry. Sean should've known that by her constant frustrations towards Division, Gogol, and Madeline; she wasn't quick to forgive those that had done her or her loved ones wrong. He couldn't say anything about it. They were siblings, after all. And he still became upset about the way she called him 'boy scout'.

Hazel eyes rolled. Sean tried not to let his irritation show; he had to be better than his sister. Nikita caught him, however. Despite themselves and the situation, the two began to chuckle. They were probably just tired- exhausted from everything they had to face. But humor took hold of them nonetheless. It was light, soft laughter that had them sinking back against the chair, and nudging each other gently. Everything appeared to melt away as the siblings mocked one another. It was almost like old times. He even had a mumbled excuse to survive her teasing, "That's 'cause I hadn't heard it in ten years."

"Sure it is," Nikita smirked. Sean tried to punch her leg, but she beat him to it by stomping on his foot. He held back a yelp, and she bit back a laugh. Glancing over at the two, Michael smiled to himself. The Pierce siblings consistently managed to lighten the mood in the safehouse. Whether they were screaming nonsense at one another, or playing around like they were kids, it was an entertaining sight. Birkhoff, Alex, and Michael could easily be swept up in the craziness, and forget whatever stressful thing was bringing them down. The matching smiles that bloomed across Nikita's and Sean's faces helped.

All of that faded as Ms. Bennet began to stir on the couch. Sean and Nikita grew quiet, staring blankly at their former teacher. Michael moved out of the way in an attempt to give them privacy. That was something the two had to discuss and solve by themselves; he'd be nearby, however, to support them as needed. Silence quickly swooped over the room- no one was sure how to start things off. Ms. Bennet decided to take a stab at it, smiling softly at the Pierces, "I told you two you'd do great things someday."

Nikita and Sean shared a look before glancing away. After dealing with their mother's involvement in Oversight, neither wanted to process any more betrayal. There had to have been a nice and easy explanation. Unfortunately, Ms. Bennet didn't have one, "Nikita, Sean, I know you have a lot of questions. I have spent so much time on the run, just lost in my own head. And then to see you. When you told me you were in Division, Nikita, I couldn't believe it. I thought it was a trick. I couldn't accept the coincidence. Then I remembered, there are no coincidences."

"I'm not in your class anymore. I don't care about your philosophy, Carla. I want the truth," Nikita forced back the awkwardness of calling her teacher by her first name, and focused on her anger. She didn't want to go through the 'I can't believe you're alive' thing again. It was painful enough with Sean in that Belarussian hotel room. And Madeline seeing her for the first time in ten years after the Oversight meeting. But the way Ms. Bennet stared at her once she saw her at the train tracks just hurt. She had had her life stolen from her. It didn't only ruin her. The people she loved and cared for were just as damaged.

"The truth is: this is a nightmare for me. You two being involved in this. How could I have ever wanted this for you? All I have ever wanted to do was help you. But what's so crazy, is that you two didn't just survive in the desert. You thrived," Ignoring the outburst, Ms. Bennet gave attention to the truth. She had always meant her wildflower comments- no matter the adversity, they would grow and thrive. Her former students were the perfect example of that. Who were once aimless and irresponsible teenagers, became strong and determined adults. They were a sight to behold.

Whereas Sean remained perfectly still in his seat, Nikita shot to her feet. She mumbled for Ms. Bennet to stop, and turned towards Michael. He dropped his guard as she approached, attempting to reach for her. However, Carla wasn't ready to let it all go. The Pierces had to understand what was occurring. Not only was it complicated, it also wasn't terrible, "Nikita, Sean, just listen to me. What I'm trying to tell you is that everything that has happened to you is a gift. No, more than that. I believe it's destiny. Our destiny."

"Alright. That's enough," Michael finally stepped in, blocking Ms. Bennet from taking any more steps towards Nikita. He spared a glance back at her to see tears in her brown eyes. That was definitely the last thing she wanted to hear. No one could stand hearing the trauma they faced was a blessing. The conversation she had had with her adopted mother wasn't helping in the matter. Michael had to push past it, try to get to the bottom of things. That couldn't have been where they left it, "I don't believe a word you're saying, and I was at Division for ten years. I've never heard of you. When Nikita escaped, Percy and Amanda said she was the first."

"And that's true. Because I wasn't in the program. I created it," The fact that Ms. Bennet's voice was full of pride, practically slapped Nikita in the face. She stared at her teacher, rage, hurt, heartbreak, and betrayal boiling in her veins. How could that have been possible. She had been good and kind. She helped kids; she never would have put them in harm's way. So how the fuck could she have made a hellhole like Division. And how the fuck could she have been proud of that damn place.

That was the last straw for Nikita. She tensed her shoulders, clenched her jaw, and glared unflinchingly. It was as though she had completely shut down. Nothing could have been said or done to change her attitude. One more person she had loved revealed themselves as a corrupt, evil, monster. And they didn't see the problem with that. Sean did, though. He jumped out of the chair, marching over to Ms. Bennet. He couldn't believe anything he was hearing. Why must he and his sister deal with such disastrous truths, "Did our mom know?"

"Why would she have known?" Ms. Bennet attempted to remain calm. The best way to settle the angry siblings was to not become overwhelmed herself. Yet they were confusing her. She was still trying to figure out how Nikita was alive. She remembered the car accident before school that had killed her. She couldn't fathom how it was possible she was in Division. She also couldn't see the connection between the program and a senator. As far as she knew, Madeline Peirce didn't work for counterintelligence.

"Oversight. The corrupt group that runs the corrupt mercenaries," Sean's attempt to clarify things didn't go over well. Ms. Bennet glanced around the room, absolutely baffled. Division hadn't been corrupt while she was there; they had done great things. Her attention landed on Michael, but he was too focused on Nikita to contribute anything to the conversation. He had seen her shut down like that before. It was after Daniel died, and it was very, very bad. Everything pressing down on her must've finally made her snap. It wasn't going to get better soon.

There had to have been some sort of solution they could come to. Yet Michael was drawing a blank. Sean's lividity, Carla's ignorance, and Nikita's shock was too much to work around. They all needed a break. Sighing, Michael willingly stepped into the fray. He raised placating hands, and offered the best course of action for the remainder of the night, "Look. It's been a long couple of days. Why don't we rest for the night, and go over everything in the morning."

"I need to get out of this fucking house anyway," Muttering, Sean agreed. He stormed out of the beach house and slammed the door behind him. That appeared to break Nikita out of her spell, but only for a second. One look at Carla, and she took off after her brother. She was practically running when she got onto the beach, as though the intense action would drive away her morose thoughts. Michael and Ms. Bennet were soon left alone with the heavy silence revelations brought. What was there to do to get past it.

Michael tried to go after Nikita, at least. He had to help her calm down. He had to help her be happy again. But, Ms. Bennet stopped him. Nikita needed a minute to herself; both Pierces needed to collect themselves on their own. It wouldn't do anyone good to rush their process. Their stubbornness and frustrations were too great. As their former teacher, Carla understood that. However, she hadn't known them for ten years. She didn't know who they were as much as she thought she did, "Let them go. They need a moment."


	26. Chapter 25

Nikita easily caught up to her brother. He had only made it as far as the ocean in his escape. He plopped down into the sand, letting the water lap at his feet. She sat next to him, and fell onto her back to stare at the stars. Neither said anything for a while. They took a moment to not think. That was the only way to settle their racing minds and raging hearts. They didn’t care that it was dark and cold, or that the ocean was soaking their feet. The siblings just felt numb. Eventually, Sean broke the silence. His voice was hoarse as if he had been holding back tears, “What the fuck, Nikki? How the fuck does this keep happening?”

“Division takes and takes without giving a shit for anyone,” Nikita’s response, though emotionless, had a biting edge. She had gone through the cycle of rage and acceptance so many times, she thought she would’ve been over it. But fury continued to bubble in her chest. She was so tired of being so goddamn angry. How else was she to process the hurt she constantly found herself in, though. Her first response was simply anger. Her heart kept getting shattered over and over again. And, God, was it exhausting. She didn’t want to be furious anymore. She wanted to be happy. 

“Did our mom know? Did she let the founder of that hellhole teach her kids?” His own anger building, Sean dug his nails in the sand. He clutched the gritty rocks with a deathlike grip, considering chucking it into the ocean. How did Ms. Bennet even become a teacher with her connection to Division. Had she intended to groom students into the perfect agents. He wasn’t entirely sure how the recruitment process worked, but that seemed like a horrible possibility to him. She helped them become better versions of themselves, thinking and relaxing in tense situations. Then, she’d put them in Division’s way.

Although she knew what her brother was thinking, Nikita didn’t have the energy to dispute it. Michael was right, no one could groom an agent. Division stole their recruits from the prison system. Sure, she and Alex were different. But so were the circumstances. Carla didn’t have a hand in recruitment. However, that didn’t mean she hadn’t done terrible things for that organization. Their teacher was just like their mother, “Madeline sanctioned that fucking shit and raised us.”

“How did our role models turn out to be monsters?” Sean forcefully threw his fistful of sand, rocks, and shells into the ocean. He and his sisters had looked up to their mother and teacher. The women had taught them, helped them, and cared for them, all while being connected to a place full of evil and destruction. That kind of juxtaposition didn’t make any sense. How could people they had seen as good and virtuous become such monsters. How did people they love turn around and stab them in the back.

Sean and Nikita thought they had learned how to deal with Madeline’s involvement in Division and Oversight. They had processed the initial shock. However, they were actively trying to burn down her black ops groups; they were also actively avoiding her. Nikita more so than Sean- still attempting to not be furious over having been given up. She didn’t think she’d ever stop being angry. That kind of hurt stung more than anything, “We just set ourselves up for disappointment.”

Glancing over at his sister, Sean tried to make sense of her tone. Nikita sounded so distant and muted. Whatever war was raging in her mind wasn’t escaping. She somehow managed to hold it all in while he was ready to explode. He knew it was all a façade. The instant anyone started prying, she’d crumble. He wasn’t sure if he wanted that or not, however. Yes, he wanted his sister to be open with him- to share what had happened with their mother earlier. But he also didn’t want to see her cry. He had only seen that a few times in his life, yet everytime it scared him. Fortunately, his phone rang in his pocket. He didn’t have to make a decision about what to do; he could just answer Alex’s call, “Hey. I tried calling Nikita, but she didn’t answer. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. I just left my phone inside. How’s prepping for the press conference going? You good to go for tomorrow?” Still lying on her back and staring at the stars, Nikita tried to distract Alex. She could barely talk to her brother; there was no way she could tell her friend what was happening. Besides, she had her own concerns to concentrate on. Ruining Semak’s Zetrov press conference and rescuing Katya should’ve been the only things Alex focused on. She didn’t need to worry about the Pierces.

“I’m great. Ready to ruin Semak’s day. But how’d it go with Ms. Bennet? You find out why Amanda wants her dead?” Alex wasn’t going to be deterred, however. Her last phone call with Nikita, when she told her about the kill order, had startled her. The rogue had sounded just as shocked and terrified as she had after learning Sean was working with Oversight. Something was going on, and the young woman had to know what. She couldn’t be separated from their problems again. She needed to help her team. 

“Not yet. Though we know why Percy wanted her. She founded Division,” Once again, Nikita sounded distant and muted. However, Sean was able to see the rage simmering in her brown eyes. She was barely holding it together; soon, she was going to explode just like him. He tried to reach out to her, comfort the both of them. Yet she started to move away. With a sharp breath, she pushed herself up off the beach. She barely glanced at the ocean, before storming back to the beach house. The livingroom lights had been turned off. Ms. Bennet wasn’t hanging around anymore. 

“What?” Drawing his attention for a moment, Alex was in disbelief. It really was one thing after another for the siblings. Although he wanted to, Sean couldn’t respond to her immediately. He stared after his sister as she stealthily reentered the safehouse. She really was going to keep avoiding everything until it ate at her. He couldn’t blame her, though. Wasn’t he doing the same. Keeping him from drowning in those thoughts, Alex attempted to tease the two, “Can you stop having shocking revelations about the people in your life?”

“Your mom is still alive, and she cheated on your dad with his business partner,” Sean adopted Nikita’s deflection technique. He’d rather continue to stare at the ocean than discuss what he was thinking with Alex. It was nothing against her; she was awesome. He’d just prefer ranting to his sister. She understood what he was feeling better than anyone. It was their family and heartache, after all. However, he wasn’t considering that their team had been through similar hurt. He and his sister weren’t alone.

“Okay. But that’s two compared to your billion,” Alex teased once more. When she didn’t hear a sarcastic reply from Nikita, she knew she had left. It was just Sean on the phone, silent and upset. God, did she know that feeling. It wasn’t that long ago that she was sitting on the safehouse’s couch, attempting to put herself together after that whole shit with her mother. She was able to process and find a goal to focus on. But only because of her friends. The Pierces needed someone to help them claw out of all that pain. Nikita had the team she had built around her, and so did Sean. Alex would make certain he knew that, “You really doing okay?”

He didn’t reply for a long time. The only thing Alex heard over the phone was the crash of the waves against the beach. She did her best to not pressure Sean. She had spent enough time with Nikita to know that a Pierce would talk whenever they were ready. Hell, she had spent enough time with the Seal to know he would eventually tell her hat was on his mind. There was simply a lot of stubbornness to push through. And some trust to be shared, “We’re managing.”

“Do you think maybe you should talk?” Alex offered simply. Sean considered the idea.

“Nikita. Let me in,” Michael knocked gently on the bathroom door. As soon as he turned the lights off to the livingroom, he knew she would return to the beach house. Carla was hidden away in one of the extra rooms, allowing Nikita to effectively continue avoiding her. He wasn’t going to push her about that; she deserved the time and space. But he also wasn’t going to let her be alone. She had endured so many other harsh revelations and family blows on her own. He couldn’t stand by as she dealt with more.

When she didn’t answer, he tried the doorknob. It was unlocked. Michael stepped into the bathroom, finding Nikita sitting on the sink. It appeared as though she had tried to wash off the sand and grit from the beach, but she gave up before hoping in the shower. She stared at the bandage on her arm, instead. They should probably change it, and clean her glass cut again. Yet she was transfixed. There was no moving her. He closed the distance between them, and noticed tears swimming in her brown eyes. She had been holding back a sob since her argument with Madeline. Tears had fallen, but not the full front of the storm. It was all about to break loose, “My arm hurts really bad.”

“I know,” Michael tenderly reached for her. He knew Nikita was deflecting. He knew she was distracting him from what was really hurting her. Except, he wouldn’t fall for it. He’d fight through her stubbornness and unwillingness to share. He was there for her, despite whatever negative thoughts drilling into her made her believe. As he placed a tender hand to her cheek, however, she shoved him away. Anger flared though her, forcing her to hop off the counter. 

“Why does everyone keep saying that hellhole was good for me?” Nikita couldn’t keep her voice down. She didn’t care if Ms. Bennet heard her on the other side of the house; she just couldn’t hold it in any longer. The sorrowful and dull ache had subsided. All that was left was her rage. She had been through hell and back, and people she once loved claimed that was a blessing. How could any of that pain have been worth it, “Michael, Madeline knew. About Nikolai. About Hayley and Elizabeth. About Daniel. She knew what they did to us!”

Michael had no idea what to say. He had been aware that Oversight knew what Division, Percy, and Amanda were doing. That was the reason for the black boxes. Yet he hadn’t made the connection between that and Nikita’s adopted mother. Madeline knew what had happened to her daughter, and still fought against her; she still gave her up. He didn’t think he could ever put himself in that situation. He’d have found some other way to save and protect his children. Nikita was probably thinking the same, while she frustratingly pushed back her wild dark hair, “Our mom. Our teacher. Who else is gonna side with Division over us?”

“Not Sean. Or Alex. Or Birkhoff. Or me. You have us,” Michael was quick with soothing words that time. He had no doubt about his statement; her friends weren’t going to leave her. Nikita didn’t step into his arms, however. She wanted to be comforted by him, but she kept her distance. She wasn’t ready to calm down just yet. Fury was running wild through her veins. Her body was agitated and trembling. The anger had to burn through her before she could accept any kind of help, as though it was a wall she had to hurdle over.

“And you have Max,” Nikita wasn’t trying to sound so cruel. She loved Max. He was a sweet and kind boy, who didn’t deserve to be wrapped in the spyworld like his parents were. She and Michael simply hadn’t resolved what had happened in London. She had left, and he had stayed. They hadn’t had much time to talk it over since he came back. The one time they did, her brother had interrupted. Their future together was uncertain, just like everything else in their lives. It used to not be that way- she could clearly picture what was ahead of them. Then, it was as cloudy as ever.

“I can have you both,” Taking small steps towards her, Michael spoke softly. They didn’t have to reside in a world of absolutes. It might have seemed that way with evil black ops organizations, and multiple betrayals. Yet it was never one or the other. Nikita had taught him that. She had been the one to show the team that there was always another solution. They just needed to settle from their hurt, breathe, and think. They’d find solutions and answers eventually. They were going to save the world together. 

She didn’t move away from Michael as he approached her, yet she did avert her gaze. Nikita didn’t want to talk about that; she didn’t want to talk about anything. She simply had to vent her frustrations before putting all her anger into action. She was always good at rushing off to save the day. Missions and kicking people’s ass were great things for her. Sitting and waiting for intel was hell. Especially when it was things she didn’t want to hear, “We need to know the full story.”

“Later. Okay. Just take care of yourself right now. You don’t need to be a hero every second of the day. Let someone else have the cape, Wonder Woman,” Michael nearly whispered, placing another tender palm to her cheek. All of Nikita’s anger melted, and she finally sobbed.


	27. Chapter 26

“You guys can work with Carla. I’ll watch out for Alex,” Birkhoff smirked. Michael had caught him up on the things he had missed while he had been gathering tech for the safehouse. The nerd wasn’t sure how to take it, so he settled on focusing on Alex’s mission. Surprisingly, helping her come back from the dead and crash a Zetrov press conference was easier than dealing with Carla. Family drama just seemed to pop up at every turn. But could they really have been that surprised. After all, Division loved to hold their agents’ families over their heads. 

“Just let us know if anything happens,” Michael fought an eye roll. He couldn’t blame Birkhoff for wanting to stay out of it. Things really did just keep getting more and more complicated. It was easier when they had clear villains and motives to fight against; they could understand what their opponents wanted and how they could stop them. But when good people did evil things, it was disorienting. How were they supposed to defeat the bad guys when they had once loved and cared for them. 

That wasn’t so much of a struggle for Michael and Birkhoff. However, watching their friends suffer was harrowing. Alex had quickly gotten over the fact that Semak was an old friend of the family. Although she had once considered him an uncle, she had no qualms about killing him for what he had done to her father. Yet Katya was another story. She was ready and willing to rescue her, but the hurt she felt over being handed over to Zetrov still stung. Sean and Nikita were in the same situation. They wanted to forgive Madeline and Ms. Bennet and return home, but they couldn’t. There was too much pain and mistrust. Carla didn’t make it any easier as they finally approached her, “I can’t believe you’re alive, Nikita. How did you survive the crash?”

“Our mom,” Sean muttered without explanation. He didn’t think he could go into it. Nor did he think he could look at Nikita. He discovered she was alive months ago, but he still couldn’t believe it. Ten years of thinking his closest sister was dead had affected him more than he wanted to recognize. There were moments where she would laugh, or joke around, or do something that was so utterly Nikita, and all he could do was stare at her to make sure she was really there. If she had ever caught him or not, he didn’t care. He was just so shocked and relieved to have her back in his life.

The same kind of complicated feelings flashed across Ms. Bennet’s expression; there was some confusion mixed in as well. A fake death wasn’t something to take lightly, especially when there appeared to be a strange conspiracy behind it. But Nikita wasn’t willing to dive into it then. She wanted answers to her questions, not the other way around. She deserved to know just what the fuck was going on, “Let’s focus on you and Division. You went from tormenting troubled teens to teaching them?”

“We were saving lives. We took them from a system that didn’t care for them, and gave them a second chance,” Ms. Bennet was quick to answer. Nikita could assert that she had had that explanation prepared, but her conviction seemed genuine. Her former teacher actually believed Division could save lives; that the ‘second chances’ speech was real and not utter bullshit. Except, there was nothing good about Division. She had argued that point with Michael about a year ago. A place that used its power to abuse those without wasn’t good. It was corrupt and vile.

“By training them to be assassins,” Shoving down her acidity, Nikita bit. Ms. Bennet looked to the others in the room for solidarity, but found none. Sean continued to avoid eye contact, attempting to process and think. Michael, on the other hand, simply stood by Nikita. He had also been used and lied to by that hellhole. In the long run, intentions didn’t matter. Division had put people and the world through hell more times than anyone would ever really know. He might’ve once had hope that they could use its powers for good. But after learning the extent of the corruption and pain, all that hope was lost.

“That was Percy’s idea. And we were doing great things for this country. Before Amanda corrupted it,” Ms. Bennet was more thoughtful that time as she explained, praying her point of view would be understood by the rogues. She gave them the whole account of Division’s founding and its original purpose. She and Percy were rescuing innocents on death row and giving them another shot at life- a better shot at life. All of that changed when Amanda and the government backing Percy had secured came into play. The program became corrupt and twisted. 

Instead of truly listening and considering the information, Nikita absolutely lost it in response. She doubled over in laughter, nearly screeching. Sean thought for a moment that his sister had finally lost her mind. And Michael was almost afraid to ask if she was alright. She only shook her head. Madeline had given her the same stupid excuse for her actions- it was all Percy’s or Amanda’s fault. The ridiculousness overwhelmed her. Why was no one going to take responsibility for the damage they had done. Why couldn’t they see how much they had hurt others. Fortunately for Nikita, Michael didn’t let Carla wonder what that was about. Once the giggles died down, he pushed forward, “And Oversight. The government backing Percy received. Corruption finds corruption.”

Ms. Bennet tried not to argue against Division’s corruption again. With the many emotions and bewilderment flying around the room, it was better to continue sharing information. However, the dark expressions that fell across Sean’s and Nikita’s faces were worth exploring. The Pierce’s former teacher never considered how much the siblings had resembled each other until that moment. Their expressions and mannerisms were nearly identical. But another puzzle had thrown Carla for a loop. Nikita’s mother had saved her from the car crash, and as a result she ended up in Division. The only explanation she could think of came from what Michael had said, “Government… your mother’s still a senator, right? She’s involved?”

“She was trying to save me too,” Nikita’s reply was barely audible. She wasn’t going to explain that any further. What was there to really say besides the attempt on her life and the misguided way Madeline tried to stop it. She couldn’t share more details, especially not with Sean in the room. She didn’t want her brother to know the extent of what had happened to her and with their mother. He didn’t deserve to carry around that kind of pain. He should’ve been able to look towards a brighter future for their family- all of her siblings did. 

“How did you go from Division to teaching highschool?” Distracting both Sean and Ms. Bennet from Nikita, Michael brought them back to the topic. They still needed intel and explanation. There was a chance they could use the information against Percy or Amanda. Any advantage they could have in that war would be a blessing. The team couldn’t lose the momentum that had gained after stopping Clean Sweep and initiating an attack on Gogol and Zetrov. They needed as many wins as they could get. 

“One day, everything changed. I was pushed out, and an agent was sent to kill me. But since I had saved him, he saved me. I escaped and made a new life for myself,” Carla found that question the easiest to answer, despite her confusion as to what had happened. She had no idea why Amanda wanted her dead. She hadn’t done anything to her besides argue against her ideas. But she wasn’t a threat to her power at the moment. The woman didn’t have a reason to still want her dead. Her motivations didn’t make any sense.

Really none of that made any sense to Sean. He felt as though they were circling around the point. Nikita certainly wasn’t sharing much, and Michael was covering for her. He knew there were things being held from him; he was kept in the dark for some stupid reason he didn’t want to hear. He just wanted to understand what was occurring and put an end to the war with Division. So he finally laid into Ms. Bennet, “By training more kids.”

“That wasn’t my intention, Sean,” Her tone was soft. Carla knew how much all of that was for the rogue agents; it was difficult for her as well. Yet the best they could all do was try to remain calm and rational. Getting angry and snapping wouldn’t allow them to listen to the other side. Though, she was getting the sense that Nikita and Sean were done listening. They had heard so much bullshit explanations from others, they couldn’t take any more. The two simply wanted their bitterness and fury to be validated. 

“Wasn’t anyone’s intention to put us through hell. But when you create evil, you become evil,” Nikita was near emotionless while she spoke. It was as though she had already reached that conclusion long ago. Whereas Michael slowly moved to comfort her, Sean crossed his arms and set the same exact glare. Ms. Bennet had no choice but to take a step back from the things she had said and done. The siblings were far more hurt than she had realized. Maybe if they opened up to her, she’d be able to help settle their anxieties and anger. Yet there was no chance of that. 

“Hey. Press conference is starting,” Birkhoff popping his head into the room solidified that. Alex’s mission was about to start; they had to focus on that instead. The rogues gladly shifted gears to their other active op. They could take that as a moment to breathe and think. But in reality, Sean and Nikita were going to use the diversion to ignore everything that had just happened. When Ms. Bennet had asked them what was going on, they snapped that she wasn’t the most important thing happening at the moment. They shouldn’t have reacted so strongly. But the thing worse than finding out the women they had looked up to had created Division, was that they defended their terrible choices. They were blind to what they had done.

“Is Alex in place?” Sean forced those thoughts away, trying to find Alex on the TV screen. Birkhoff had hacked the various news networks that were covering the Zetrov press conference, giving them eyes everywhere from their beach house. They could watch for Alex and help her when they needed to. Although they all wanted her to be safe, Sean was the most concerned as he paced up and down the livingroom. Michael shot Nikita a knowing look, and she cracked a small smile. It was the first true grin he had seen from her in a while.

“She’s probably waiting for the right moment,” He had to see a brighter smile from her. Michael gently nudged Nikita, insinuating that it was her influence on Alex that made her such a formidable agent. She smiled a tad brighter, after a roll of her eyes. It wasn’t as dark if she could be cheered up. He was certain with more time the whole team would be able to calm and successfully move forward. They simply had to rely on one another and not let their emotions drown them. Some more victories would be beneficial too.

“And there’s the Dark Lord himself,” Birkhoff mumbled as the camera panned to show Ari. Soft chuckles erupted from the team. When Alex and Nikita had discovered Gogol’s and Zetrov’s ties, the team was able to easily roll along with it. The two corrupt Russian companies joining forces made as much sense as Oversight and Division. Evil found evil, no matter what form it took. At least when they took out one of the organizations, the other would fall as a result. It made part of their job simpler.

As Nikita, Michael, Sean, and Birkhoff cracked jokes and studied the crowd for other Gogol agents, Ms. Bennet stared at Ari. She swore she had seen that man before. Yet judging from the team’s comments, that shouldn’t have been possible- how could she have met a Russian operative. The pull of an old memory was persistent, however. She couldn’t have been that mistaken. She knew Ari, “Who is he?”

“Ari Tasarov. Leader of Zetrov’s mob-like security team, Gogol,” Nikita replied matter of factly. She didn’t think much of Ms. Bennet’s question, until she saw her puzzled expression. Her former teacher appeared to have been trying to figure something out. Michael, Sean, and Birkhoff caught the expression as well, and shared confused glances. Was it possible that there was another surprising connection they were going to be forced to learn. God, they hoped not, “Do you know him?”

Nodding slowly, Carla was finally able to place where she had seen Ari. It was years ago, right before she was pushed out of Division. She was certain then that her memory was the cause of that. She had seen Ari outside of a Gogol mission, and accompanying somebody he shouldn’t have been with. She had never thought much about the encounter until that instant. Then, everything started to make a lot more sense, “He was American when I met him. He was with Amanda.”

“Talk about a match made in Hell,” Birkhoff expressed the team’s shock as best as he knew how- instant and biting sarcasm.


	28. Chapter 27

Alex stared at Semak from the crowd, lividity turning her veins to ice. She had gone over everything in regards to the Zetrov press conference. She was ready to answer any questions thrown her way, and she knew how to handle the Gogol agents stalking around. But she wasn’t prepared for Sergei Semak being an absolute ass. He was really going to pretend that he worked hard for what he had. He had the audacity to say he made Zetrov better. Did she actually expect anything different from him, though. Kochenko had acted the same at his press conference, before she shot him. She couldn’t wait to wipe that smug look off his face and kill him.

Waiting for the right moment to come out of the shadows was easier than she thought. She assumed her anger would’ve overwhelmed her and she’d snap. But patience settled easily on her shoulders. Alex already knew she’d do anything to save her mother; Semak couldn’t claim another Udinov as his victim. She just never guessed that the feeling would extend to her emotions. She had those complicated things in check, for once. As she terrorized Semak and faced the press, she was going to be calm, cool, and collected. All that she had trained and fought for led her to that moment. It seemed as though something was finally going right.

When the reporter she had confided in asked her leading question, Alex took a steadying breath. Of the many journalists swarming the room that she had researched, that reporter appeared to have been the most reliable. Her story (the watered down version, anyway) wouldn’t be muddled or misprinted; it would have the biggest impact against Zetrov. That was what she needed for Semak’s eventual ruin. The world was going to know the vile villain that he was. Lifting her chin and squaring her jaw, Alex stepped into the limelight. Alexandra Udinov had returned to the world.

The expression of shock and fury that crossed Semak’s face made Alex smirk. Her confidence surged, and she dared to hop up onto the stage. With every single camera and reporter documenting the moment and asking questions, she was safe from any harm. Gogol couldn’t make a strike against her with how popular she had suddenly become. Which made her surprising hug that much more impactful. Semak didn’t know how to react, making Alex smile wider. She felt far more powerful than she ever had in her entire life. She could do absolutely anything. There was no stopping her then. 

Once the press conference was over and Gogol urged the reporters out of the hotel, Semak tried to get her to back down. Ari, on the other hand, didn’t do a thing to help his boss. But Alex wasn’t really focused on him. Her sights were on the man who had killed her father, stole her mother, and tried to kill her (on more than one occasion). She wasn’t really interested in the money, and she didn’t care for Zetrov. She wanted her family back. And she wanted him to burn in Hell. Smiling wickedly, she sauntered off to the hotel suite that had been offered to her. The mission was undoubtedly a success. The first of so much more to come.

Some of her confidence faded once she was alone in the room. Suddenly, it all seemed too much. There were so many things left to do. And she wasn’t hiding in the shadows anymore. Alexandra Udinov was back from the grave. The world was going to have its eyes on her. Yet she quickly pushed that aside to scan the suite. She didn’t think Gogol would’ve had time to bug the room. But she couldn’t be cavalier then. She had gotten so far, she couldn’t become complacent. Alex the Spy didn’t get to disappear since her identity had been revealed. The secret agent and Russian heiress had to coexist.

Was it odd that she sort of wanted to thank Amanda for the ability to be two people at once. She always talked about masks, and layering one over the other. The role of Alexandra slipped so easily over Alex, that she could remain on her guard while pandering to the cameras. Amanda had actually helped her a lot on her path of revenge. She knew it was for ulterior motives. But she probably wouldn’t have gotten to that point without Division’s help. She definitely made mistakes along the way, though. And she trusted the wrong people. Yet she was going to fix it. She was determined to do the right thing.

The more Alex thought about it, however, the more she realized all her gratitude should go towards her team. Nikita had taught her how to compartmentalize while being a mole. She could separate her thoughts and feelings and focus on the mission. Michael helped her hone her skills and better her attitude. She could listen and disarm her enemies in more ways than one. Birkhoff was no doubt watching after her by hacking into the news stations and hotel. She could breathe and relax with him having her back. And Sean got her to see that there was a complexity to decisions. She could spot all the shades of gray that surrounded their world then.

God, she really had to call her team. So after assuring that the suite was clean, she took out the burner cell Birkhoff had encrypted. Nikita answered almost immediately. She launched into praises of how amazingly awesome Alex was. The young woman took them all with a roll of her blue eyes. Despite her apparent annoyance, she smiled as she relayed what had happened off camera to the rogue. They formulated a couple of ideas of what to do next, before Nikita warned her to watch Ari closely. After all, according to Carla, he and Amanda were partners. Alex was only able to sigh, “I’m tired of having our worlds turned upside down.”

“I know I’m sick of learning shit,” Nikita muttered. At least it explained why Ari wasn’t surprised to see Alex. Amanda must’ve told him to watch out for her. The way that bitch could twist her mind while being oh so sweet to her was beyond bewildering. The rogue easily agreed with that; they always appeared to be surrounded by double-edged emotions. But instead of dwelling on it, the women pressed on. They had already spent too much time trying and failing to process the actions of the maternal figures in their lives. It was simpler to defeat the bad guys, “Oh. By the way, Nerd says Semak just ordered Ari to kill you.”

“Cool. You want to fuck with them back?” Sarcasm slipped past Alex’s lips first. But Nikita couldn’t blame her. When Birkhoff told her of the conversation between the head of Gogol and the head of Zetrov he had caught, she just rolled her eyes. Even with all of the surprising twists lately, some things were still predictable. The young woman was resigned to her fate, and traded her burner phone for a com. Her hands were then free to find someplace to hide and wait for her attacker. She’d get the drop on him easily. Then, turn the tables back on Semak.

“Eh. Why not? I don’t need you as a mole anymore,” Already knowing Alex was going to proceed with that plan, Nikita shrugged. The crusade was becoming increasingly complicated, a mole inside Division wasn’t going to cut it anymore. Besides, the young woman should be trying to save her mother. She didn’t need the extra weight of poking around for information. With Carla at the safehouse and Madeline willing to work with the team, they could have all the intel they needed. Their strategies had to evolve as the war did.

“Thanks,” Alex replied, rolling her eyes once more. Joking around together just seemed natural for the two. They were able to skip past the stress that was bound to weigh them down, and move straight to making fun of the situation. Honestly, when weren’t they experiencing something ridiculous. No sane person could handle the amount of drama and twists and turns they faced. Hell, no sane person was as obsessed with revenge as they were. So of course they taunted until they were laughing. It was their way of not becoming completely insane. 

Settling in a spacious closet to await her eventual attacker, Alex lowered her voice. Birkhoff was going to alert her when the Gogol agent was near. Except she wanted to listen and lie in wait. Her enemies had to know that she would always one up them; with the team supporting her no matter what, she was invincible. She hated that it took her a while to learn that fact. But the past was behind her. It was all about the present and future for them. The forgiveness that flowed between the rogues proved as much. As did Nikita’s sincere words, “Hey. I’m proud of you.”

“Learned from the best,” Alex admitted, one hundred percent serious. She had joked about her and Nikita being a pair to behold. Although she was referring to their family drama and trauma, the sentiment was true. The women were a force to be reckoned with. They relied on one another, and trusted each other with their lives. Nikita might have taught Alex how to be an agent. Yet they both re-taught each other that caring for someone wasn’t going to lead to hurt- they were able to open their hearts again. However, that kind of sincerity couldn’t hold long. Alex quickly quipped, “And by that, I mean Michael.”

“Thank God. I thought you were going to say Sean,” Laughing, Nikita shot her brother a look. While Michael and Ms. Bennet discussed what she could remember about Ari and Amanda, Sean and Birkhoff were scanning the hotel’s security feed. The Seal glared at his sister for the remark, able to hear her side of the conversation. She stuck her tongue out at him, and he abandoned his task to force her to stop. There was no chance of that, however. As he got closer, he managed to catch Alex’s side of the call. Her reply did not help matters.

“Hell no. Your brother’s a dumbass. You know how many times I had to cover for his ass in Division?” Alex had no idea what was occurring at the safehouse. She peered through the crack in the closet door, watching the empty hotel suite. She thought she had heard laughter and shouts from Nikita, but it was distant and distorted. The rogue must’ve pulled the phone away from her to say something to someone. Guessing it was Sean, Alex giggled. Having siblings on the team was a lot more adventurous than she ever could’ve imagined.

And an adventure was definitely happening at the beach house. Sean tried to grab the encrypted burner from Nikita. He had to defend himself from the things they were saying about him. But his sister was always faster than him. She was also better at digging things in and pissing him off. Lightly dancing around her brother, she avoided all of his attempts to wrestle for the phone. The two had had that kind of fight before. Granted, it was over a remote and they weren’t trained in martial arts. Yet no matter what, she always came out on top, “That’s what happens when you have a boy scout as a brother.”

“Stupid moral compass. How are you even related?” Alex had no doubt that Sean was listening then. She made fun of him instead of actually replying to Nikita. Whereas the women laughed at his expense, he made one final grab at his sister. She shoved him away from her, and dashed towards the stairs to escape to her bedroom. Her brother gave chase. Chuckling at the sight, Michael and Birkhoff were blissfully distracted from their tasks at hand (leaving Ms. Bennet to wistfully stare). Whenever the siblings were up to their antics, fun and lightness ensued. They were all due for a moment like that.

“I have no idea. I thought I had bullied it out of him,” Nikita slammed and locked her bedroom door in her brother’s face. Sean barely managed to pull his hand away in time so his fingers didn’t get pinched. He shouted her name and pounded on the door, but she just giggled. Alex laughed along with her, almost forgetting that she was supposed to be quiet. It wasn’t that long ago that the team was trying not to drown in their stress. Apparently laughter really was the best medicine. Or, they had just realized it was alright to let go at times. 

“Well you did bully drug addiction out of me,” Taking a breath to fight her laughter, Alex shrugged. She attempted to downplay it; she didn’t believe she could express her gratitude for everything Nikita had done. Luckily, the rogue understood. She didn’t press for more, or try to make her expand on what she had said. She simply rolled with it, continuing the joke in a very surprising way. Alex nearly broke when she heard it. Nikita wasn’t one to be open like that. The fact that she was, was monumental. 

“Of course. You’re family. And being a bossy older sister just comes naturally.”


	29. Chapter 28

“Lady. Put that down. Now,” Birkhoff commanded with a gun held tightly in his grasp. How did it all go so wrong, so fast. Sure, the Gogol agent broke into Alex’s room and tried to kill her. But she had been able to handle herself. Semak’s goal to sell a story that Alexandra had overdosed and died failed drastically; she was more furious and determined than ever to end his terrible reign of power. The real shock came with Ari Tasorov. Apparently, he and Amanda had some sort of deal for her. Nikita honestly didn’t pay much attention to the asinine offer. She let the young woman come to her own conclusion on what to do with the couple from hell. However, once her life was threatened, the team was ready to attack. 

Instantly, Sean and Michael were deployed to help Alex escape from the hotel. Ari promised to direct her past the Gogol agents prepared to kill her, but they weren’t willing to trust him. Birkhoff was hacked into the hotel’s security system; he could watch after her to ensure she really was safe. And Nikita could direct from the safehouse. She’d much rather be out in the field, having a more active hand in helping her team. But her relations with Gogol and Division weren’t the greatest. It was better for everyone if she oversaw everything and shouted her commands through the coms. They were going to save Alex without a doubt.

Or so they thought. As Nikita and Birkhoff searched for his tablet to use, they horrifically realized it was missing. Carla stole the device while they were distracted. She had seen the nerd upload the audio they had captured through Alex’s com of Ari and Amanda working together. And she wanted to use it to burn the pair; that was their chance to destroy all of their enemies. Except in doing so, Gogol would turn on Ari and he wouldn’t be able to help Alex. Her safety had to have been put above their revenge. Despite a gun pointed at her, Carla didn’t seem to understand that, “Is that what you want, Nikita? You want to kill me to save Amanda?”

That wasn’t what she wanted at all. She had been angry at her former teacher, but that didn’t mean she wanted her dead. Nikita didn’t want any more people that she cared for to die. The team just couldn’t sacrifice one of their own for the chance at Amanda; it wasn’t a fair trade. If she explained that to Ms. Bennet, then she’d understand. Her teacher had always been reasonable and rational when dealing with overly emotional teens. That shouldn’t have changed. Nikita simply had to have Birkhoff lower his weapon, “Birkhoff. Just. Put the gun down, I can handle her. Ms. Bennet…”

“I hate to tell you this. But your teacher is coo-coo for a certain cereal,” Birkhoff snapped. Neither he nor Ms. Bennet moved. His finger was placed stubbornly on the trigger, while hers hovered above the tablet. Only Nikita was willing to try to appease them. She could hear Alex struggling over the coms, and Michael and Sean’s report of their ETA. Yet she had to ignore them. None of that would have mattered if something disastrous occurred at the safehouse. She needed control if she was going to bring everybody back home.

“Birkhoff, just put it down and disable the tablet. Please,” She didn’t think she had ever pleaded, at least not with Birkhoff. He glanced at her full of concern. The weapon in his grasp lowered slightly. Fighting to keep her calm, Nikita focused on Ms. Bennet. Her shift in behavior didn’t make any sense. Well, she wanted it not to make any sense. The teacher’s motives surrounding Percy and Division were bewildering. She would’ve thought she’d have been more loyal to the team. Two of her former students were a part of it. Instead, Carla was willing to see everything burn. 

“I can’t do that. The audio file has already been uploaded to the hotel system,” Explaining, Birkhoff sounded apologetic. He didn’t want to shoot his friends’ former teacher; he didn’t think he could shoot anybody. Yet that was what it was going to come to if she didn’t put down the tablet. He was willing to take a life to save his team. Nikita knew that, and she continued to try and reason with Ms. Bennet. She didn’t blame the nerd for being so protective. When it came down to it, she’d sacrifice her teacher for Alex. She really hoped it wouldn’t, however. She wanted to have both women in her life. Why did she have to choose who lived and who died.

“You see. It’s our only chance while Ari’s in that hotel,” Ms. Bennet wasn’t making it easy, either. She wouldn’t listen to Nikita or Birkhoff. The rogue had never seen her teacher so stubborn before. If the gun wasn’t pointed at her, she’d have pressed play and joyfully watched Gogol turn on Ari for working with their enemy. She continuously didn’t understand it. Carla wanted nothing more than to shift blame on Amanda. Although the bitch deserved it, there were so many other bad guys out there. They couldn’t only focus on one piece; they had to study the whole game board to know what risks were worth it or not.

And Alex’s life was not worth a move against Amanda and Ari. The audio file damning them both had been downloaded. There would be other chances to expose the two. Alex, on the other hand, only had one chance to escape that hotel. Semak was going to keep sending people to kill her, if they didn’t get her out and formulate a new plan. Couldn’t Nikita’s smart and rational teacher understand that, “You do this, Alex loses her support. She could die.”

“Oh come on. You already blinded the cameras. Michael and Sean are on their way to help. And from what I can see, she is more than capable of handling herself,” Maybe she didn’t. Maybe Ms. Bennet was so wrapped in whatever vengeance was in her heart to see the truth. Nikita could understand that. Hadn’t she been in situations like that before. But then wasn’t the time for crusades; it was a rescue plain and simple. Besides, weren’t they supposed to be the good guys. Wasn’t saving people supposed to be the goal.

Carefully, Nikita stepped towards Ms. Bennet. She placed herself between Birkhoff and her teacher, hand stretched out as though she was extending an olive branch. After watching Alex step into her own- proving how much she has grown- and joking around with Sean, she thought it was going to be one of those rare great days. She thought she was going to smile and laugh for the rest of the night. But that war liked to remind her that it could take everything if it wanted to. She was left pleading once more, “Wait. Just wait. Wait till I find out that she’s okay.”

Ms. Bennet hesitated for a moment. The strain in her former student’s voice made her pause. Nikita was desperate to save her team. The consequences didn’t matter to her. As long as everyone was alive, then it was all a success. Carla, sadly, didn’t see it the same way. She believed the only way to truly save the people they cared for was to take Amanda out immediately. Who knew what kind of hell that bitch would enact if they didn’t stop her right then, “We can’t wait. With Amanda, you will never know when you will get another shot. She always finds a way out. We have to take her down, now.”

“Which brings us back to, put my hardware down bitch,” Birkhoff shouted over rising fury and frustrations. Their argument just kept circling around itself. They all believed themselves to be in the right, and stubbornness kept them rooted in their positions. Nikita thought for a horrid second that she was talking to Madeline all over again. They were already shouting and threatening. Soon enough, someone was going to burst. Hopefully, the three could come to a better conclusion. Carla had to change her mind.

“Ms. Bennet, you have my word. We will get Amanda,” Sincerity filled Nikita’s voice. Once again, she moved towards her former teacher putting herself in the way of the gun. She could make that promise easily; it was on their to-do list after all. The team will destroy all of their enemies in time. They simply had to be smart about it. If any of them had learned anything over the years, it was that they couldn’t rush into things without thought. They had been burned enough times using that tactic. Waiting for the right moment was a good move.

“We can’t wait,” Despite the rogue’s resolve that they would get Amanda, Carla just had to keep arguing. Oversight was no longer backing Division. Amanda was floundering, trying to find support. That was their time to strike. It was the perfect chance to kill her and Ari and return the program to how it once was. No more corruption or evil deeds, only saving, “You said so yourself, she’s lost her funding. If she hooks up with the Russians, there will be no way for me to save the program.”

Nikita stumbled backwards. She wasn’t sure if she had heard that correctly. Did Ms. Bennet really want to save Division. Was she actually going to risk Alex, and potentially Michael and Sean, to ensure a stupid government black ops group stayed operational. What the hell happened to the teacher who only wanted better for her students. How could she justify such actions. Nikita wanted to scream. She wanted to take Birkhoff’s gun and shoot Carla herself. Instead, she barely spoke above a whisper. Shock and lividity had flooded her system, “Save the program?”

“We get rid of Amanda, and we can restore it to what it once was. I told you it can be saved,” Carla squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. She thought herself superior with her argument. Even after everything she had heard and seen with the team, she believed Division to be inherently good. The horrendous situations they had faced were a result of Amanda and her corruption. Nikita’s recruitment was included on that list as well. Once all of the power hungry leaders were displaced, the program would be pure and great like it had begun. 

What was with the people she once cared for choosing vile organizations over her. Nikita was so close to screaming. Division and Oversight could never be used for anything other than harm. Protecting loved ones was the only cause worth fighting for. Avenging them and trying to earn a happily ever after were noble pursuits as well. But not believing a place had hurt someone you were once supposed to shield from harm was awful. It just proved how blinded by ambition you were, “We are so far past that. There’s no saving Division.”

“Yes, there is. We kill Amanda, and there is,” Hovering her finger closer to the tablet, Ms. Bennet wasn’t going to budge. She could be just as resolute as her former student. Whereas the rogue would do anything for her team, she’d do anything for her program. So many more lives could be saved with her or Percy back at the helm. The pained, heartbroken expression across Nikita’s features could be ignored. Carla was fighting for the greater good. That had to have been more important than a single life.

“She pushes that button, and Alex is out in the cold. And we don’t do that. We don’t leave our friends to be Amanda’s victims,” Nikita and Birkhoff never talked about how she got recruited into Division. He knew about it, of course. The two simply didn’t talk about her family drama or any of her complex emotions; he let the more empathetic Alex, Michael, and Sean handle those conversations. Despite that, he still knew what she was spiraling through. She was given to Percy and Amanda by her mother, and the effect of that was everlasting. She was determined to ensure no one else had to experience the same fate. And he was determined to help her at any cost.

Glancing at Birkhoff, Nikita wasn’t sure what to say for a moment. She was aware that he had her back, and he’d fight alongside her no matter what. But she never expected him to be so angry for her. He was pissed that someone else in her life planned on sacrificing her for that hellhole. The rogue couldn’t help but flash the nerd a small, appreciative grin. She was glad they were friends. It gave her the fortitude to keep going, “That’s right. Ms. Bennet, I am promising you we will get her. Just let me make sure that Alex is safe. You waited years, give me one day. One. Please.”

A long moment passed before Carla relinquished the tablet. Nikita doubted she had finally come around to their point of view; she probably just realized there was no use in fighting against the two. Relief washed over the rogues, nonetheless. They were able to focus on the coms again, hearing Michael and Sean’s confirmation of arriving on the scene and Alex breaking free from Gogol. Although it was so close to being ruined, the mission was a success. They were going to live to see another day. They also had new information to plan more attacks on their enemies with. Despite that, dread settled around Nikita. She watched Carla sulk out of the room, frustrations radiating off of her. They weren’t out of the woods yet. But how dark was the forest.


	30. Chapter 29

It wasn't fair that she had to be the bigger person. She hated that she had to be the one to make things better. With anyone else she would've done it without problem. But in that situation, she wanted to put up a fight. She hadn't done anything wrong. She was only trying to save her friend. Why did betrayal keep happening to her. Not wanting to dwell on that then (or ever), Nikita swallowed her upset feelings. She just had to talk to Ms. Bennet about what had occurred. Hopefully, she'd understand and stop contradicting the team. They'd be able to have lightness again, enjoy their time together. There didn't have to be so much frustration and pain.

The talk hadn't been that bad. Ms. Bennet actually listened, and the women were able to come to an understanding. Nikita felt brighter as she spent the rest of the day with her team. Her former teacher continued to keep her distance, committed to taking walks along the beach. But that just gave the others space to taunt and tease as they worked. Shadownet hadn't chimed with any Division news, so they were left with only cleaning and planning to do. That was fine with them. Their jokes more than made up for any boredom, as did Alex's phone call.

She had to stay at the hotel for the sake of her cover. After her two press conferences, reporters were all over her. There was no doubt Alex could shake her tail, and join her team at the safehouse. Yet it was easier to keep an eye on Ari and Semak where she was. Besides, she was going to travel back to Russia with them; she had to ensure they didn't leave her behind. Her mother was waiting for her. She was going to rescue her from Semak, then she would finally be home. She was so lucky to have a team helping her with that mission. It kept calm, focused, and ready for anything.

A plan for Alex and Russia was loosely put into place before she jetted off in the morning. The team had to come up with something more solid over breakfast, giving them time to rest and reset. Although the young woman would run the majority of the op and handle the information, they had to be ready to help her at a moment's notice. Birkhoff and Michael were working on the logistics of that, while Sean and Nikita were thinking things over in the kitchen. She poured herself the remainder of the coffee, not noticing her brother was holding out his mug for some until she took a sip. He pouted at her. She remedied the situation by spitting the coffee she had in her mouth into his cup. A shriek burst out of him before he could stop it, "That's disgusting! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"You have your own fucking place. Leave me alone," Nikita shrugged, walking back to the table Michael and Birkhoff had occupied. Sean hadn't stayed at his own place in weeks. He'd swing by his apartment here and there, but mostly for food, clothes, and toiletries. Otherwise, he was always annoying his sister. Or following around Alex. Nikita appreciated her brother's help; she loved that he was there with the team and back in her life. She just wished he would leave her the fuck alone.

"I would if you didn't have a dramatic episode every two seconds. You're stuck with me, until you can figure out another way to keep Alex safe," Abandoning his mug in the kitchen, Sean chased after Nikita. Honestly, it wasn't just the missions that kept him around. He preferred to stay at the safehouse rather than his empty apartment. The team was so lively that he couldn't help but be wrapped up in their antics. Spending time with his sister was beyond great as well. He was so glad to have her back. The ten years without her had to be made up for; he didn't care that he annoyed her as a result.

They weren't the only ones enjoying each other's company, anyway. Michael, Alex, and Birkhoff had just as much fun (and annoyance) with the Pierce siblings. That breakfast was no exception. Sean's last statement not only caused Nikita to glance at him all too knowingly, but also the other men in the room. The Seal was puzzled by their smirks and eye rolls. He was valid in poking fun of the team for their dramatics. But the joke wasn't why they stared at him, as Michael smugly pointed out, "Just keep Alex safe? Or the whole team?"

"Uh. The team. See. I can't think straight without coffee," Sean very quickly covered for his blunder. Birkhoff scoffed and Michael chuckled. Nikita, on the other hand, pointedly took a sip of coffee. He attempted to glare her into submission, but that only made her silent taunt grow. It would be best for him to ignore the whole thing, and force the conversation along. Yet his sister would never let him off the hook. She had already been making fun of him for having a crush (which he didn't, he and Alex were just friends), that simply added fuel to her fire. He was never going to hear the end of it.

"Well why don't you get your own when you go to Russia to be with Alex," Nikita surprised her brother with an offer instead of a quip. Sean stared at her hard to ensure she was being serious. She rolled her brown eyes and sighed, "She's going into the heart of Zetrov territory. She needs a partner. Michael and I really shouldn't with Gogol and the press in the mix. Birkhoff can't do shit. But a Navy Seal on leave, and whose status has already been exposed is the perfect fit. Also. Ari still has a black box and we should probably deal with that."

No one could argue with her reasoning, though Birkhoff had a thing or two to say about his abilities. Gogol and the very active press didn't bode well for rogue agents like Michael and Nikita. And with the enemies Alex liked to accumulate, she needed someone trained in combat watching her back. Since Sean was still on leave from the Navy, and his covert Seal status had been blown after the Gates House coverage, what better use of his time than to be her partner. His cover was simple too- he'd just be her bodyguard. A bright smile bloomed on his full lips as he thought of it. He absolutely enjoyed the plan, "I'm really the best person to protect her?"

"God, you're so fucking stupid. Just go," His sister ruined it for him, however. Nikita shoved at him to go pack. As fun as it was to tease him for his obvious feelings, he had to leave if he was going to meet Alex. It was a long flight to Russia, and who knew what would happen between the different times they landed. Sean was aware of the urgency, and tried to hurry. But he just had to shove back at her. She was able to dodge his attempt, and he was left tripping and almost falling. Once again, the team chuckled at him. He seriously had to get out of there.

"Shut up," His closing remark made his sentiments clear. Sean prepared to leave and board Birkhoff's private jet. The nerd moved to his computer to set the flight up for him, while Michael and Nikita cleared the dishes. Her eyes rolled for the umpteenth time concerning her brother. However, she couldn't say much in regards to not acknowledging feelings. How many times has she pushed everything she felt into a deep dark corner, never to revisit it. Of course, more often than not, those feelings crept up on her and clawed her back into the deep. The best option for the whole team was to own up to their thoughts and emotions.

However, she wasn't willing to focus on that at the moment. There was more cleaning to do, and Alex's time in Russia to keep planning for. Along with her mission to save Katya, Ari continued to have the black box. The team had to find some way to dismantle it, or steal it back. Sean's idea was to get rid of it completely. That damn thing held way too many secrets regarding his mother and his sister. If they destroyed it, there was no chance of those secrets escaping and harming them. Bringing a briefcase of tools with him, he stumbled out the door to get to the airport in record time. Nikita stared after him, annoyed, "You see why I bully him?"

"He'll figure it out. Besides, Russia's a great place to come to romantic revelations," Michael flashed Nikita a crooked grin. A computer chimed with some kind of alert, drawing Birkhoff's attention away from the couple. They somewhat had a moment to themselves, and he was able to pull her gently into his side. Although she shook her head, she was smiling. The two had had their own adventures in Russia regarding their relationship; the isolation and tense situations they found themselves in really helped them realize just how strongly they felt for one another. That being said, it still took them a while to actually be together- more so because of him than her.

"If you don't cockblock yourself," Nikita teased Michael for his past actions, right as he placed a kiss to the corner of her mouth. Mischief sparkling in her brown eyes, she slipped out of his arms. He had that comment coming. He chuckled to himself, and followed after her. Whereas they were finishing their cleanup of breakfast, Birkhoff was transfixed by his computer. He wasn't certain what he was reading. But the information was beyond important. The team needed to be roped in immediately.

"I'm going to need that story ASAP. After I tell you what I found," Calling Nikita and Michael over, Birkhoff was more serious than taunting. It didn't matter that he had overheard their conversation, something major was happening. The agents tried to dismiss it at first; unidentified dead bodies weren't a cause for concern. Yet after some digging, the bodies were revealed to be Division agents. They hadn't been killed on missions. Someone had broken into their homes and shot them. There were others out there raging war against that hellhole. In all honesty, who were they to stop them.

Michael did point out that the dead agents belonged to a Gogol taskforce he had put together years ago. And Birkhoff added that the ballistics matched known Gogol weapons. That didn't make sense to Nikita. Although the two organizations were enemies, there was no use in killing agents. Not with Ari and Amanda literally in bed together. Her thoughts couldn't stop themselves from wandering to Percy. He had proved with Clean Sweep that if he couldn't have Division, then no one could. He'd rather burn that place to the ground then have someone else have power. It seemed pretty on par for him to kill agents to get his way.

But why blame it on Gogol. Sure they were his enemies. Yet that shouldn't have been something Percy was focused on. Besides, he didn't know the connection between Ari and Amanda. The team only knew because of Ms. Bennet. A dark thought overcame Nikita, making her freeze. Her former teacher entered the safehouse after another walk along the beach, and pocketed what appeared to have been a burner phone. That could've been nothing. Except, she didn't have any possessions when the team brought her in. And the only time she had been out of anyone's sight long enough to get a phone was when she was with Percy.

Nikita didn't want to consider it. She didn't want to think about that possibility. But Carla had remained so loyal to Percy and Division. She wanted nothing more than to destroy Amanda and reclaim the program for something 'good'. The rogue had thought their talk had changed that. But she was wrong. Her former teacher was as stubborn and determined as ever to take over Division. Even after seeing what that place had done to a student she had once cared for, even after knowing the amount of pain the team had experienced, she was going to fight for that hellhole. Nikita was going to be sick.

Telling herself it was only speculation didn't help. She might've seen a cellphone in Carla's hands, and Percy might've learned about Ari and Amanda from her. None of those were facts, however. It was all an idea she had, based off of her anxiety's worst case scenario. Nikita wouldn't go to her team with those thoughts. She couldn't condemn Ms. Bennet on conjecture. She would need evidence before involving the others. Another loved one wasn't going to hurt her again; she was going to make sure of it. Something else had to have been occurring.

Fortunately, there were tasks left to do for Nikita to focus on instead. She could clean out the mission bag she had dropped into a corner and ignored. When she dug through it, however, she realized she had grabbed Michael's by mistake. Their duffels were mostly similar, but there was one huge difference at that moment- he had a picture of Max in his bag. Despite how sweet and endearing she found the sentiment, she had to confront him about it. If their enemies discovered he had a son, there would be no way to protect him. His safety had to remain a priority.

There had been enough family tragedy in that war. Max needed to stay as far away from it as possible. Nikita wouldn't let anyone else fall victim to their parents' mistakes. She, Alex, and Sean were enough. Michael understood her point, but he believed they were safe for the moment. He still hoped he could have both worlds. She didn't mention her thoughts about Carla or possible dangers that could be lurking too close for comfort. She simply reiterated the issue. He seemed to have read her mind then, attempting to pry into her thoughts as he always did. Luckily, Birkhoff interrupted them. A call was coming in on one of his computers, "It's Amanda."

"Don't answer. It could be a trap," Immediately, Carla instructed. She burst out of the kitchen to join the team. Nikita wouldn't make eye contact with her. Her argument was just another reason not to trust her. She had once turned to her to deal with her family. But then, she was suspecting her or murder and betrayal. Only her emotions were arguing against the things she had seen. Normally, she'd shove them away. So why was she listening to them at that moment. There was nothing she could've done to stop from getting hurt. The rogue had to accept what was happening and turn to her team.

"Relax. She can't trace it," For the moment, however, there was Amanda to deal with. Birkhoff assured that the bitch couldn't trace them, yet he still glanced at Nikita and Michael to see if they were actually going to speak to her. The agents nodded tersely. They couldn't ignore her or anything else that was going on. They had to face things head on.

"Let's see what the bitch wants. It must be good if she's calling us."


	31. Chapter 30

Ryan was alive. It didn't make sense, and it didn't seem real. But he was alive nonetheless. Nikita couldn't wrap her head around what Amanda's endgame was. Roan had killed Ryan; she had seen it with her own eyes. She watched him plunge the needle full of God knew what into his IV. Her friend died before she could even get to him. There was no way he could've been alive and held hostage by Amanda. A part of Nikita wondered if that was how Sean had felt. He had seen Roan 'kill' her, only for her to resurface in connection to Division. What was it about that place that just loved to bring back ghosts.

No one had expected Ryan Fletcher to come back to life when Amanda had called. The team honestly had no idea what she wanted to talk to them about. Considering her dead agents and connection to Ari, it wasn't going to be a fun conversation. Nikita still approached it with her flippant sarcasm, however. She'd try anything to not think too much about her current situation. If she pushed it aside, and played it lightly, maybe those complicated emotions would go away. Her attitude certainly helped push aside the idea that Amanda only wanted to talk to her, "Oh, I already talked to Nikita. She said there's no way in hell she'd help you."

"What about an old friend?" Amanda knew better than to get involved with her sarcasm. She'd simply force her agenda on the team whether they were on board or not. With their confusion, they weren't. There was no way she was talking about herself. No one in their right mind would consider her a friend. She must've had a trick up her sleeve. Cautious curiosity shot through Nikita, Michael, and Birkhoff. Carla kept her distance. She didn't appreciate what they were doing. Dealing with Amanda was only going to burn them.

"Hey, Nikita," But none of that mattered once the 'old friend' spoke. Nikita froze at hearing his familiar voice. It shouldn't have been possible. She had faced 'impossible' so many times, though. She shouldn't have been that surprised to hear him talking to her, nor should Michael or Birkhoff. Faked death was something they were far too used to. It was as though no one in their lives stayed gone forever. They always found their way into the war one way or another, haunting the team. He was no different.

"Ryan?"

* * *

"Sean? What are you doing here?" Alex was shocked at the sight of Sean Pierce waiting for her in the hallway. She had heard him creeping outside her hotel door, causing her to reach for her gun. She thought Semak was making another move against her; there was no possible way he was happy about her following Zetrov back to Russia, especially since she brought the press along with her. But it was just her friend with a briefcase in his hands. She just stood and gaped at him, unsure of what was happening. Fortunately, he barreled his way into her suite with an explanation.

"Nikita didn't tell you? I'm your new bodyguard," There was a slight grumble to his voice, but otherwise Sean appeared excited that he was there. Someone had to watch after Alex while she was in the heart of Gogol territory. Everyone knew she could handle herself, yet it was easier for the team's anxiety if she had a partner. Although she rolled her blue eyes as she shut the door, she wasn't going to fight the decision. She was glad she wasn't alone.

What she wasn't appreciative of was Sean dumping his stuff and messing with her things. Well, it was the hotel's things not hers. But she didn't need him poking around. He was acting like he had never been in a suite before. He probably hadn't; Navy Seals liked to rough it after all. Suddenly realizing, Alex froze. He was a covert Seal. If his identity got out, who knew what would happen. She didn't want to be responsible for that. He didn't need to risk himself for her, "What about your covert Seal status? If someone gets a picture of you…"

"Already blown from the Gates House coverage. Besides, Ari still has the black box. Somebody has to wipe my mother's and sister's secrets off of there," Shrugging, Sean flashed her a smile. He didn't care about his covert status anyway. He'd give it up all over again to help Alex and his family- okay, maybe Nikita was onto something about his crush. Shaking those thoughts away, he refocused on his new partner. She shot him a skeptical look until he held up his briefcase. Destroying the one remaining black box really was on his agenda. As was protecting her.

"Fine. Just don't get in my way," Alex hid her smile, turning her back to put her gun away and continue getting ready. She was due at the rebuilt Udinov estate soon for a press tour. Her original plan was to find some way to sneak off and rescue her mother. But she'd have to change it up with Sean there. That wasn't a terrible thing, however. He'd be a great help in distractions. She also wouldn't have to be as tense or anxious for an attack. Having a partner was going to make things so much simpler. The fact that he knew what was at stake, and was serious about it, made it even better.

"Wouldn't dream of it. Saving your mom's the priority."

* * *

"Nice try, Amanda. You obviously just spliced old recordings together," Nikita wasn't buying it. What reason could Division have for faking a CIA analyst's death. It made more sense to just have him killed; he was the one to spoil black ops' missions and identify members of Oversight. There was no tactical reason for Amanda to keep Ryan Fletcher alive. But she could use his voice to screw with the team. The bitch loved to play with recruits' emotions- why should she stop once they escaped. They had been spoiling her plans a lot recently. She probably wanted her revenge.

"You remember what you said to me when we first met? 'I'm Nikita. You hung up on me'," However, Ryan was always excellent at illuminating the truth. He actually was alive. More shock and confusion rippled through Nikita, Michael, and Birkhoff. They understood how it was possible; it was the reason that had them scrambling for answers. They doubted they could get them while Amanda was on the line, though. The nerd muted the conversation, giving them space to talk. They just had no idea where to start. How did one process the return of a ghost.

"So that really is Fletcher?" Although Birkhoff lamely asked, Nikita glanced at Ms. Bennet. Her brother and her former teacher definitely knew what it was like to have someone you love suddenly return from the dead. But she had to shrug that off for the moment. She wouldn't allow herself to be swept by emotions earlier, that had to extend to that moment as well. Amanda was up to something by dangling Ryan in front of the team. The rogue had to be rational and composed as she attempted to figure out her enemy's plan.

"Are you satisfied? I have something you want, and you can get something I want."

* * *

"Your first plan is a press conference?" Sean was skeptical after Alex told him the scheme she had created. It wasn't as though he didn't believe it could be done; it was just thin. The two would need something more substantial if they were going up against Gogol and Zetrov. They were in enough trouble as it was with the Russian organizations. If they were caught snooping around, there would be no chance of saving Katya or destroying the black box. Whereas he was concerned about the outcome, she rolled her eyes again.

"A tour of the estate. I can distract them with the office where the black box probably is, while you sneak off and get my mom," Smirking, she clarified. She wasn't going to lie- she felt proud of herself for her idea. They still had to work out a couple of kinks. But overall, it was a solid strategy to complete their two objectives. Sean came to the same conclusion after thinking it over a little more. Alex was right about splitting up. The two were partners, might as well utilize that.

"You came up with that pretty fast," He couldn't help but smile along with her. Alex had certainly accepted and adjusted to the change fairly quickly. Sean had thought she would've been a bit more stubborn; the first few times he had tried to help her she had been. Yet, he had become less abrasive since then. He would admit that he was an ass when they first met. He could blame trying to deal with his mother's role in Oversight and discovering his dead sister had been alive and forced to be an assassin the whole time. But that wouldn't have been fair. He shouldn't have treated her like that.

Though, she was a pain in the ass with how little she trusted anyone. Alex had come a long way since then too. She even moved closer to Sean as they prepared to leave the suite. It could've been nothing, yet his heart raced anyway. He seriously had to get that under control. He was being ridiculous. And he was totally imagining the blush on her cheeks. She had just put makeup on; the jetlag had driven him insane. Clearing her throat, she got him to refocus on what they were discussing, "Well if there's one thing I learned from Nikita it's…"

"How to improvise," The words left him before he could think. Sean didn't mean to interrupt her. He just knew exactly where she was going with that statement. Nikita could definitely create a plan from nothing. As her younger brother, he had unfortunately been the target of most of those. Alex giggled at his huffed tone, guessing what he was referring to based on her own interactions. Her laughter made him beam brilliantly, "After we save your mom, remind me to tell you some childhood stories."

"Oh my God, I would love that."

* * *

"We cannot make a deal with Amanda," Carla was insistent. It was the same determination that flared whenever the team dared to make a move that could end Division. Nikita was fucking sick of it. She had gotten her brother back; she thought she'd be able to have her mother and teacher as well. God, she hated whenever she was wrong. People always said she was stubborn and wouldn't listen. And they might have been right. But at least she supported the ones she loved. She didn't give them up to monsters.

"We don't sacrifice each other," Full of bitterness, Nikita turned her back on Carla. She'd have to deal with her former teacher eventually. She had to talk to her team, and maybe get her to finally see their side. One crazy woman in her life at a time, however. She had to play Amanda's game for the moment in order to get Ryan back. That wasn't a difficult choice for either her or Michael and Birkhoff. They had all decided long ago that they'd do anything for their friends, "What do you want?"

"Percy. We both know he's the reason my agents are dead. And you've tracked him before," Amanda's demands were simple. She'd give the team Ryan Fletcher, if they gave her Percy. Nikita, Michael, and Birkhoff couldn't object to that. Division would take out the bastard for them, then they could take out the black ops group. With the analyst joining their ranks once again, their goal might just become easier. The end to their crusade would be in sight, and their ragtag team would be together. Those were positives to hold onto.

"We can track him again. We'll catch up later," Another sarcastic quip left Nikita's mouth as she hung up on Amanda. That was all the bitch needed to know, anyway. The team would be able to handle everything else. Frustrated, Carla left the living room. She didn't want to be a part of what they were planning. The rogue was sort of glad. She needed her former teacher gone so she could talk with Michael and Birkhoff in private. They had to know what was occurring between Carla and Percy.

The men were confused about what Nikita promised Amanda, however. They had only managed to track Percy before because of the signal released by his killswitch. Knowing him, he would've remedied that problem. The team was out of options. They didn't even know where to start in finding the bastard. If they really wanted to save Ryan (and they did), they'd have to find another solution. Unsure of what she was thinking, Birkhoff attempted to reason with her, "Nikki, we can't…"

"Carla's in contact with Percy," Ensuring Ms. Bennet was truly out of the room, Nikita blurted. She was a little ashamed to admit the fact. She had pushed so hard to save her former teacher from Percy and Amanda, only for her to betray them. But the nerd and the agent didn't accuse her of any wrongdoing. Instead, they shifted gears. While Birkhoff started typing on his computer, trying to find the cell signal Carla was using to contact their enemy, Michael approached Nikita gently. They'd figure out their next steps together. She didn't have to shoulder that hurt alone.

"How do you want to play this?"


	32. Chapter 31

If there were any positives to the story, it was that he got to talk to Sonya. It wasn't anything he should've been focusing on, but it was true. The two tech nerds had been contentious in the past; she was probably the one hacker that could possibly best Birkhoff. Yet they had been forced to cooperate recently. That wasn't necessarily a terrible thing. They were attempting to capture Percy. And they got to see one another. Maybe that was more of a perk to Birkhoff than to Sonya. He was really starting to like interacting with the rival hacker. She could've felt the same. The way she snarked him back seemed more budding romance than rivalry. At least that was what he hoped it was.

He wasn't sure how he thought or felt about how he thought and felt for Sonya. He knew he liked the challenge she presented, and the banter they had shared (if Nikita found out he was thinking like that, she'd tease him about a crush just like her brother). But she was with Division. It wasn't her fault; Birkhoff was beyond aware of that. The crusade simply complicated things. And not just whatever he would describe his relationship with the other hacker. The whole team was suffering on that front. Who wasn't having some kind of drama with friends, family, and any attempts of romance they found themselves in. It was a huge mess they were desperately trying to survive.

It started out okay, at least. Nikita's plans to stop Carla and locate Percy was a sound one. The next time she messaged or called him, they'd trace the signal to his location. They had to trick both Ms. Bennet and Sonya to do so, however. Birkhoff didn't want to admit that he wasn't fond of duping the fellow hacker. At least he parted with a compliment- something he truly meant. That could make up for things. Well, with her. The nerd couldn't even guess how it was all going to fare with the Pierces' former teacher. He knew Nikita was already upset with her actions, wanting desperately to forgive her. But that more than likely wasn't going to happen. Not the way that war was going.

Ms. Bennet's further betrayal was predictable enough, after all. Despite knowing it was going to happen, and planning around it, Nikita held out hope that it wasn't all lost. She could have everything she had lost back. She didn't voice that outloud, but Birkhoff knew that was what she was thinking. He didn't blame her in the slightest for it. If it was his family, he'd do the same. Maybe not the forgiveness part, however. There were a lot of things from his past that he hadn't released his grudge on. The rogue definitely had more love in her heart than the nerd. But he could still support her. He'd have her back, and won't make one of his quips. Everything could be for the better.

For instance, they got Ryan Fletcher back. The team had the opportunity to save him from Division's clutches. His faked death continued to be confusing, but knowing Amanda it wasn't too difficult to wrap their heads around it. She needed information. Breaking a CIA analyst out of prison by faking his death was certainly a way she would've done that. However, that wasn't necessarily important at the moment. Percy had to be brought in, and a meet had to be set to make a trade. Birkhoff let the agents handle the smug bastard, while he established the rest of Nikita's plan. His eyes never left Carla as she paced the safehouse. After the news of her working with their enemy, he didn't think he'd ever be able to trust her.

To be honest, Birkhoff never really trusted Carla. Since Nikita and Sean brought her to the safehouse, she had been contentious. The Pierces' emotions were definitely put through the wringer by her connection to Division and the words she had said to them. He didn't want to be around someone who hurt his team so much. Then, of course, there was that whole incident with his tablet and Alex. That could've gone so wrong, so fast. Being able to talk the former teacher down had been a miracle. But as the rogue had discovered, it didn't last long. Percy had badly manipulated her.

Or maybe she was always corrupted. Birkhoff didn't think Percy was entirely to blame. Carla hadn't changed in the numerous years she was away from Division. She might have been a great teacher to the Pierces, and probably cared for them a lot. Yet she was still a part of that organization. And she found no fault in it. The nerd had no idea how Nikita was going to reason with her. Things hadn't changed from their discussion after Ms. Bennet threatened to let Alex die at Gogol's hands. If the rogue really wanted to believe in the possibility of good, however, then he wouldn't say anything. Focusing on the mission would be better for him anyway.

Birkhoff could cling to the conversation he had had with Sonya; he got to see her again. He could also cling to the fact that he got to punch Percy. Sure, the hand that had just fully healed from Amanda's torture months ago was reinjured. But the act of hitting the bastard was cathartic. His frustrations and confusions were released in a single moment. It felt good, and it felt right. It seemed as though the end of that damned crusade was near. Oversight was gone, Alex was making steps against Semak, Gogol and Ari would fall as a result of that, and Percy and Amanda would wipe each other out. The team was going to make it out alive.

As long as nothing happened during the trade for Ryan. Nikita told Carla their initial plan of where and when they were going to hand off Percy. As predicted, she tipped Roan off the second the rogue left. The actual scheme was to doublecross both Amanda and Ms. Bennet. The former teacher involved enemy agents that would no doubt take out the Division agents the bitch was going to hide around the place. The team would come out the victors, with Ryan in tow. Their enemies would be damaged, and they could take their final steps to bring them down.

Nikita didn't add Carla to that list of enemies, though. Birkhoff knew better than to say anything of the contrary. He had a feeling she didn't want to go through the same emotions and hurt her adopted mother had thrown her through. The two didn't talk about it at all. Yet he knew how terrible it was for a parent to treat you like that. She couldn't stand her former teacher doing the same. Even if it made her seem insane, she was going to hold on to the good side of Ms. Bennet. If Michael talked sense into her or not, the nerd didn't know. But he probably didn't. He had experienced the full front of the rogue's conflict. It was better to just calm her so they could move forward.

That worked for a while. Amanda and Carla were successfully doublecrossed. Nikita and Michael had Ryan, and they were escaping the shootout. From his safe perch at the beach house, Birkhoff was directing the agents out of there. When he was in Division, he was perfectly alright with being kept from the action. He'd help others, but as long as it didn't happen to him he was fine. That wasn't the case any longer. With his hacking skills, he could do almost anything to keep his team safe. But being out in the field with them would allow him to help them even more. Okay, maybe not much with his skills. Yet he'd at least be out there with them.

Adventure found its way to the safehouse, regardless. Birkhoff blamed himself. Carla had asked what happened to their original plan, and he told her everything; they were aware of her betrayal and schemed with it in mind. Honestly though, he was in the middle of a hack when he divulged the information. His mind couldn't focus on watching after the team and keeping things to himself at the same time. Besides, how was he to know Carla would try to turn on them again. There was a chance she would finally realize her mistakes and stop trying to defend a place that wanted her former students dead. No such luck.

Carla reached for the burner phone, and Birkhoff was forced to reach for his gun. They were in the same position as before. She had the power to destroy the team in her hands, while he held a weapon. And just as before, he didn't think he could pull the trigger. He had never shot someone. He never killed anybody. He couldn't start with the Pierces' former teacher. Especially when all Nikita wanted was to see the best in her. The nerd expressed as much to the traitor; she could stay with the team and it would all be okay again. But she wouldn't accept it. She grabbed a gun as well.

Everything happened so fast, Birkhoff wasn't sure if it had happened at all. Carla approached him with that fucking burner phone in one hand and a weapon in another, and his gun just went off. The trigger wasn't as hard to pull as he thought it would've been. The recoil didn't snap his wrist back like he thought it would either. Shooting Ms. Bennet was a very simple action. She fell to the ground, blood blooming along her side. A sort of numbness washed over the nerd. He couldn't think or feel. He just stared at what he had done in absolute horror. He hadn't meant to do it. It happened way too fast.

The agents came crashing back into the safehouse as Birkhoff was crouched over Carla. He had to stop the bleeding. If he stopped the bleeding, then she could be saved. He never would have killed anybody; he wouldn't have killed his friends' teacher. But Nikita's gasp was deafening. There was no helping Ms. Bennet. She was gone. The rogue collapsed on her knees, reaching desperately for her teacher. The nerd tried to explain what had occurred, but she only shook her head. Her focus was on the dying woman, tears falling heavy from her eyes. Although the team had saved Ryan, she still lost.

She wasn't angry, though. He expected her to be angry. She had snapped at Alex for staying with Division. She had yelled at Michael for digging into her past. She had shouted at Sean for working with Oversight and defending their mother. And she had seethed at Madeline. But Nikita wasn't mad at Birkhoff. The gun lying next to Carla explained it all. The nerd had done what he could to save himself and the team. Above all else, she'd rather have that. She'd rather her friends be safe than have a traitor in her life. But it still hurt. Her former teacher was dead. And she had died trying to kill her and her friends.

Eventually, Michael gently pulled Nikita away from Carla's dead body. He and Ryan would clean everything while she mourned. And while Birkhoff calmed down. It wasn't his fault, but he felt like it was. He had to apologize to Nikki. He had to call Sean and explain the whole situation. He had to help the other men clean his mess. They should've been victorious. They should've gotten back everything that was taken from them. But he had destroyed all of that. Not even the thought that he had talked to Sonya and punched Percy could comfort him any more. The light at the end of the tunnel was so far away.


	33. Chapter 32

_Ten Years Earlier_

It was the looks that drove Sean insane. He hadn't been back to school in a week. After the crash, he stayed home to recover. He wasn't physically injured, which he thought was unfair. He, Olivia, and Abby left the car unscathed. The only person affected by the accident was Nikita (and the other driver, but his sister was the only one who mattered). That shouldn't have been right. He wasn't the only one who thought so. Their friends were as upset and grieving. They probably shouldn't have returned so soon. They survived the crash that killed someone they loved. That wasn't something to get over in a week. Especially when everyone knew about it.

News spread fast in a highschool; rumors spread faster. Whispers followed Sean, Olivia, and Abby down the halls. Sympathetic glances chased after them once they turned their backs. Sean couldn't take it. Why couldn't everyone leave him alone. Why couldn't his friends and teammates just talk to him like they normally did. He already lost his sister; he didn't need to lose his sanity as well. But anger ate at him like a parasite. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. Everything should just stop- let him breathe, let him scream. He couldn't take it anymore. But the stares were holding him in place. His anger simmered.

Ms. Bennet was the one to catch his lividity. She pulled Sean aside and attempted to talk to him. The second she said how sorry she was with actual empathy in her voice instead of that awkward sympathy, he broke down. Tears fell heavy from his hazel eyes. He had only allowed himself to cry once since the accident; he had forced it all down since, not wanting to feel hurt anymore. Locking himself in his room and hiding from his family had been a great strategy. But with his teacher, his vulnerability was exposed. It all came flooding out of him. The grief was too powerful not to express.

Speaking softly, Ms. Bennet knew all the right words to say to ease his heart. She helped Sean settle and breathe for the first time in a week. He still had to struggle to fully process and mourn his big sister's death. However, his teacher had given him the tools to do so. He was even able to apply the grieving tactics when his dad died a couple months later. It happened over the summer, so at least the stares of his fellow students didn't bore into him. And his mom and other sisters were around more, so they could all mourn together. He was able to accept the death around him. It was painful, but he managed it with the help he had received.

_Present_

Alex and Sean had a fairly productive day in Russia. Their mission wasn't necessarily successful. Yet they were able to walk away with something. Although Katya wasn't in her room and neither Semak nor Ari would divulge where she was, Alex was able to reach out to her with a press conference; she really appreciated the journalists that were following her around. They also couldn't get at the black box. However, Sean managed to swipe Ari's harddrive. He currently had it connected to a laptop Birkhoff had given him, letting the program the nerd created to decrypt the information. They'd have vital intel soon enough. Things didn't go as they had planned, but it wasn't all a loss.

The two decided to relax on the couch for the time being. There wasn't anything they could do until all the pieces fell into place. Alex had suggested they watch a movie, but Sean wanted to talk. He had promised childhood stories when they rescued her mother, yet then was a much better time. Besides, he kind of wanted to see her smile and laugh. It had been a difficult couple of days. They deserved some time to themselves- pretend they weren't in a war with multiple black ops groups. Settling on the sofa close to him, she had no problem with that idea. He beamed at her. She smiled back.

Unfortunately, Nikita called before he could begin. Alex answered the phone, immediately. It was late their time; if she was calling, it must've been important. Sean sighed, but there was nothing he could do to stop the women. A joke was on the tip of his tongue about how similar the two were. They'd drop everything for their friends. Some of it could be blamed on their crusade; something could've been wrong. Except, it was just who they were- stupid bleeding hearts. That tease died before he could utter it, however. Grave and distant, his sister informed the others of what had occurred. His heart instantly dropped and shattered. The information rang empty in his ears, "Ms. Bennet's dead."

"What happened?" Was that even his voice that responded. Sean could barely hear himself. He couldn't hear the women talking around him either. Nikita wasn't saying anything, though. It was all Alex, demanding to know everything. Was there an attack on the safehouse. Was there an accident. No way Carla had been out in the field with the team. If she died, something tragic must've occurred. But the rogue was floundering under the young woman's questions. She wasn't prepared for the bombardment. She was still trying to process everything herself. It was too soon, too sudden, and too hurtful for her to truly think.

"She was working with Percy. It was self-defense," In clipped tones, Nikita relayed everything that happened from murdered Division agents, to saving Ryan. Alex listened with rapt attention, asking things here and there for more details. Sean, on the other hand, remained silent. Despite the fact that he was already sitting, he felt like he needed to get off his feet. His head was swimming, and his heart stopped beating. He thought after losing his father and sister as a teenager and all his years in the Navy taught him how to handle death; he shouldn't have been as affected as he was. But no one could've been prepared to lose someone. Especially when they were supposed to be innocent.

Carla Bennet's betrayal was more shocking than her death. She had protected and cared for the Pierces when they were kids. How could she have turned on them to Percy. How could she have been loyal to a place that had hurt Nikita so much. Sean's thoughts shifted to his mother for a second, yet he quickly shook it away. His mind couldn't become muddled. He had to process the news and help the team move forward. That was easier said than done. When his sister finished talking, he still couldn't speak. Alex had to wonder for him, "Are you okay?"

"Nerd's pretty shaken up. And Fletch's gonna debrief with us in a sec. But we're good," Usually, Nikita could skillfully deflect any personal questions. But her attempt to make things lighter fell flat. The nicknames and her refusal to answer for herself only proved how not okay she was- how could she have been when she watched someone she loved die, after she had tried to turn against her friends. Whereas, Sean was willing to let his sister get away with not talking, Alex was going to push forward. The rogue made her discuss her mother and Semak when she hadn't wanted to- turnabout was fair play

"Sean wants to talk to you," However, Alex knew Nikita was too stubborn to open up to her over the phone. Fortunately, she had a brother. Sean was terrible at talking too; she could see it in the way he was fighting back his emotions. The siblings could bully their thoughts and feelings out of each other, though. Taking the call off speaker, the young woman handed the cell to the Seal. He gave her a look that somehow mixed annoyance and gratitude. She shrugged it off like it was nothing. They were all about helping her, of course she'd help them in return.

Left alone, the siblings didn't say anything for a while. Where was there to even start. Their former teacher was dead, and that was painful. Yet, she had intended to hurt them. Her death saved the lives of the people they loved. Though, they did love her too. Or at least the memory of her. Ms. Bennet definitely wasn't acting like herself since they had brought her to the safehouse. The things she said and did would've never come from their teacher. Sean sighed, the thoughts confusing him and breaking his heart. He really couldn't talk about it. And he doubted Nikita could either, "Did Michael make you call?"

"He handed me the phone," Good to know that continued to be predictable. She might've had the idea and intention to call her brother, but her inability to let all her emotions out held her back. A gentle nudge from her boyfriend was needed to get her to take the final steps. Well, not really with how eloquently the siblings' conversation was going. Sean and Nikita fell back into another lull. They could've just agreed with one another that it was too complicated to discuss while it was still so fresh. But it was probably just their stubbornness and insecurities keeping their mouths shut. Strong feelings had gotten them into serious trouble before. Although they were talking to their sibling, how could they be certain it wouldn't happen again.

"Are we that bad at talking?" Eventually, Sean chuckled. It was ridiculous. What was so difficult about expressing what they were thinking. Sure, forming the right words was hard. And miscommunication was bound to occur. But at least it'd be out there. No harm could come from them grieving and mourning their former teacher's death. It was natural to be upset when she had meant so much to them. The two had also lost so much already. One more blow was destroying their drive to continue in their fight. It wasn't ruined completely- not by any means. Yet, the fear of more pain was nearly crippling.

"We're avoiding it now," Nikita found herself chuckling as well. Despite the silence, her brother was easier to talk to than Michael. He might've also experienced devastating loss, but he wasn't able to quite understand how she felt about Ms. Bennet. She couldn't help thinking that the woman she brought to the safehouse wasn't really her former teacher. That person was lost years ago, twisted by fear and a maddening need for revenge. The rogue figured she might've turned out the same, had it not been for her team. She was incredibly lucky to have them in her life. She wished Carla had had the same support, or that she had accepted it when it was offered to her, "We lost her a long time ago."

"Yeah. Can't believe she worked with Percy too," There he went, back to thinking about his mother. He couldn't stop the urge to; the parallels were beyond present. Both Madeline and Carla had made deals with the bastard. Their motivations were different, as were the circumstances, but they both turned on Sean and Nikita. The women even defended themselves the same, thinking Division had started as something good and that they had to save somebody. At least Sean found it easier to forgive his mother. It was continuously a sore subject, but he understood her need to protect her daughter. Carla was only acting of her own self interests. Madeline had tried to be selfless in her own way.

Nikita, however, didn't agree with that. She was hidden away by Madeline, and shoved aside by Carla. And once she had confronted them about it, they claimed some aspect of Division was good for her; she had survived and saved others, after all. She couldn't see how her brother saw forgiveness in those actions. It made her wonder how her sisters would handle everything. No doubt the twins would've been more level headed than their flaring tempers. They had always been rational while the other two were up to some stupid antics. Nikita would've done anything to know what they would've thought and what they might say to comfort her, "What have you told Jill and Sandy about all this?"

"Nothing. Just that this has all been Seal stuff," Sean was being honest. He couldn't involve Jill and Sandy into that mess of a war. They would've been in danger. Besides, they didn't need to know about their mother's corruption or their father's affair. They deserved to continue thinking the best of their parents- someone had to. And as much as he would love for them to know Nikita was alive, it was safer if they didn't. Their sister brought more enemies with her than he could count. She hated that her brother was in danger enough as it was. Her innocent sisters had to remain as far away as possible.

"They've always been better at talking," Softly, Nikita replied. Jill and Sandy had to be kept safe no matter what. But, God, did she miss them terribly. She missed being able to rant with them about their parents and brother. She missed watching movies and gossiping as a girls' night in. And she missed their early morning runs, where they tried to race one another but ended up just calling it quits and getting breakfast or coffee. There were many reasons why she needed her war with Division to end; her sisters were definitely one of them. She couldn't wait to go home to them. And she couldn't wait to bring her team home with her.

"Soon, right? A big ol' Pierce family dinner," On the same page, Sean put a lot of hope in his sentiment. Although they kept thinking the end would be soon with all of their victories, it had to be true that time. They didn't have to suffer all that pain for nothing. Instead of being hopeful with him, however, Nikita grew silent. Something about a family dinner made her shut down. He figured it had to do with their mother. But surely she could survive a night with her if he and the twins were around. He didn't get the opportunity to ask her what she was thinking, though. She ended the call before questions could arise.

"I gotta go. I, uh… don't die," It was an awkward way to hang up. Nikita sounded rushed, as if she was being pulled away somewhere. That could've been true; Ryan had to tell her, Michael, and Birkhoff about his time in Division. Yet Sean was certain it had to do with some insecurity of hers. She was hiding things from him. She might've tried to deny it, but he knew it was true. His sister didn't trust him with something, and it honestly pissed him off. They had crashed back into one another's life- they couldn't keep pushing each other away. That wasn't going to bring them all home.

"Yeah. Don't die. Again."


End file.
